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AIBU?

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Original poster

To Feel Irritated By The Work Experience Girl?

120 replies

TiffanyAtBreakfast · 03/07/2013 17:12

Okay. I don't know if I am just being a moany mare or not...

We currently have a young girl in the office who has just finished her GCSEs and will be here for two weeks for voluntary summer work experience (not the compulsory year 11 work experience). She's really sweet and personable and has been trying hard at doing her admin tasks and sitting in on meetings to learn etc. However I am getting so irritated by her saying "I'm just so tired", and "it's been so tiring", literally every single time someone asks how she is getting on. It is day three for goodness sake, and also we're in a very posh office with lots of big bosses. Bit unprofessional. When I did work experience I just kept replying "It's great!" or "I'm really enjoying it thanks" when people asked me that, so I don't think it's her age or a lack of social skills as she is obviously quite intelligent.

I just heard her do it again in the kitchen with someone pretty high up in the company - When he asked how she was finding it I don't think he expected her wet lettuce response of "Yes, well... I'm very tired to be honest and need to get home", I think he expected something positive - He didn't really know what to say!

It winds me up when the rest of us actually ARE bloody tired lol. I know she is only 16 but she has a lot to learn if she thinks the kind of work she has been doing is tiring lol :)

Maybe I'm being mean, at 16 she has probably been up late seeing friends or something and is therefore tired, but... Don't do voluntary work experience if that's what you want to do all summer. Thoughts?

OP posts:
hermioneweasley · 03/07/2013 20:32

Oh FFS, I woukd find it annoying too.

If you are feeling particularly generous you could tell her it doesn't give a good impression.

TabithaStephens · 03/07/2013 20:37

Has she been forced into it by her parents? I'd have been pretty miffed about being made to work for free during my summer holidays. I always had paid summer jobs though.

juneybean · 03/07/2013 20:38

Two weeks after my gcse I was doing 42 hrs in an admin apprenticeship and I dont recall being tired and I had paperwork to do in my own time.

Yanbu

BiBiBroccoli · 03/07/2013 20:38

I have had this so many times! I have work experience students all the time, both GSSE, sixth form and during/post degree level. I would say at least half of them moan about how tired they are - ALL THE TIME!!!
It's become a running joke in the office.

It is hugely irritating - particularly with the older ones. I usually mention it in a non confrontational chatty way, unless they are rude with it - then I tell them off Grin

Waswondering · 03/07/2013 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Corygal · 03/07/2013 20:41

She won't get far. Unless you tell her. I must say, tho', you would have expected her to pick up on the atmosphere and general conduct of the place by now.

I had a 26 year old who didn't make coffee because she genuinely didn't know how. That is baby behaviour.

landofsoapandglory · 03/07/2013 20:47

Do you know what she does at home, only my 16yo is also a carer for me because I am disabled!

Both my teens are knackered at the moment, they have both just finished their GCSEs and A levels. That takes a lot out of them, and DS1 has a weekend job as well.

The girl might to lots of other things as well as the volunteer work experience. I think it's great she is volunteering, DS2 wanted to go to our local hospital but has damaged his shoulder quote badly and so needing extensive physio so can't go. Give her a bit of a break and maybe tell her, nicely, that it is not giving the right impression to keep saying she is tired.

Viviennemary · 03/07/2013 20:50

I think in the long run it would help her if you took her tactfully aside and advised that perhaps a lot of people are tired at work but it's not professional to keep on saying how tired you are. It's a shock to their system to find out work is quite often quite tiring and boring for a lot of people. Welcome to the real world.

TheUnsinkableTitanic · 03/07/2013 20:51

Oh please tell her!

I was so grateful when my 1st formal employer took me to one side and explained how to shake hands with someone Blush

she needs to be told about work etiquette.......

DespicableYou · 03/07/2013 20:53

I'd get this thread if it was phrased "how can I help our work experience girl"

But the whole thing of you being 'irritated' by her because you did x, y and z at 16 just comes across as... I don't kow...smug or...resentful?

So for that, I say YABU.

needaholidaynow · 03/07/2013 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoJo · 03/07/2013 21:16

I would interpret that as meaning that she is beginning to appreciate the difference between the world of work and her current life at school - I wouldn't necessarily say it was unprofessional to answer honestly if she is finding it a big shift from school, but it might be worth having a word just to let her know that it could be interpreted as moaning or being negative.

Mintberry · 03/07/2013 21:22

Your first job is very tiring when you're not used to working full time! Shock to the system.

TBH at that age I think it's good that she is doing well at her tasks and trying to learn. You should have a quiet word, keep it as friendly as possible, and let her know the things you think she is doing well as well, since as you say she is trying hard it would probably be quite a blow to her confidence otherwise.

EarlyInTheMorning · 03/07/2013 21:24

It might be her idea of small talk, give her a break

frutilla · 03/07/2013 21:26

I feel a bit sorry for her. At least she's being honest, she sounds overwhelmed by it all. Could she actually have a health problem? I remember being irritated by a co-worker going on and on about how exhausted she was and it turned out she was unwittingly pregnant (not suggesting that's the case here!).

BigBoobiedBertha · 03/07/2013 21:29

I agree with LesAnimaux - who gives an honest answer to how are you/how are you doing?! Surely it is basic manners to know that? I would expect a 16 yr old to know that tbh.

If she is tired because she is finding it very different from school she should say she is finding it very different from school and if the questioner is interested then you might mention it is tiring as well as something positive.

TBH at 15, when I had just finished exams and got my first holiday office job, I would have been too shy to say much but even so I would have said something positive because I was grateful to have the experience. Have 16 yr olds changed that much that they no longer know how to be polite?

I also agree with Portofino. You have to say something to save her from rubbing other people up the wrong way too, especially the big bosses.

lisalisa · 03/07/2013 21:31

My dd has just done her first week of work experience in a ward in a busy london teaching hospital. it was very tiring for her - in at 7.00am and home by 6.00pm and she saw and participated in so much - meetingsd about patients/ward rounds. s'he was very drained and sometimes emotional. However - although her social skills are definitely not great and she can sometimes come across as tetchy and a bit entitled - she really got to grips with this work experience and laernt so much from it. She learnt as much " work" skills as she did medical experience. For eg when the junior doctors spoke quickly and asked her to find files at home she might be stroppy and say " how do you expect me to find that then" whereas at work she has learnt to get on her hands an dknees and search teh filing cabines.

She has mopped up tears, fed a patient, helped wash a young patient and cried her own tears when a lovely lady she saw every day passed away.

It has been a massive leanring curve for her and one that she will always treasure and grew literally immensely from.

After the we week she sent flowers off her own back to the sec of the doctor who organisd it and chocs to the ward.
So with your we studnent, give her time and space and she may rally round. above all realise that at 16 she can't really be imbued with work place savvy and what to say and not to say and what sounds right and what doesn't . That doesn't mean though that she is not benefitting from the experience

quesadilla · 03/07/2013 21:38

I actually think this is part of the problem with w/e and interning: they chuck young people in there without any mentoring or structure so they get the "experience" but are left confused as to what is expected of them and how they are doing.

So yes, you probably should say something. Gently. Things like that can be crushing at that age so try to make it clear you can see she is overwhelmed. She will probably be upset and sob in the loos but as long as you aren't a bitch about it it will probably be the single most useful thing she learns.

KirjavaTheCat · 03/07/2013 21:38

She's 16. Being 16 now is not the same as it used to be (imo), I think kids are getting to this age now being largely treated as children by their parents. I even observed this amongst my friends at that age, I was gobsmacked that they had their washing done for them and their noses wiped when they were ill - I hadn't had that sort of treatment since I was 11...

Maybe she thinks when people are asking how she's doing, they genuinely want her to tell them, and are concerned about how she's feeling? They're not, of course, it's just chitchat, but she won't know that the generic answer to this is 'Yeah fine thanks! Feeling great!". She'll learn.

maja00 · 03/07/2013 21:42

She's there to learn - it would be kinder of you to give her some tips on making a good impression and how she comes across than to just bitch about how irritating she is later.

shufflehopstep · 03/07/2013 21:51

So what's your problem, then? She's 16 years old and has not learnt the ins and outs of office etiquette yet after 3 whole days? Shocking. She needs to be made to understand the seriousness of her crime. Definitely pick at her only negative trait and make a big thing out of it. Make her feel like the immature unprofessional child she is and don't whatever you do offer her any encouragement or kind words.

You sound a bit smug if I'm honest. Did you walk into your first job and know exactly what to say all the time? She's just answering a question that someone's asking honestly. I recently went back to work after mat leave and I was tired too. It's a shock to the system. I pretty much had the standard answer whenever anyone asked me how I was for the first two weeks of "it's all a bit overwhelming at the moment but I'm sure after a week or two I'll feel like I've never been away". If I'd been sitting with the same person and they had heard me say that every time, they'd have probably have been a bit sick of hearing the same thing but it's just something to say.

She's in a new environment with lots of adults and probably feels a bit too out of her depth to make general chit chat. Give her a break.

eurozammo · 03/07/2013 21:59

How about approaching it by suggesting that people who have been working full time for 10/20/30 years don't need to be told how tiring it is by someone who has been there for 3 days! Work is tiring, but that is one of the things she should be taking in from her experience rather than complaining about it all the time.

scottishmummy · 03/07/2013 21:59

I think you're stunningly lacking in empathy of being 16. It's new to her,tiring to her
She's not you.its all new,she's out her comfort zone,in adult mileu
Cut the attitude,help the lassie out

mrsjay · 03/07/2013 22:03

DD is 15 and did work expereince in june and she was knackered every night it is hard for them I dont think she was moaning though but say to the girl yes it is tiring now can you do this, 16yr olds are right moaney but tell her nicely to shush Wink

Indecisive90 · 03/07/2013 22:20

Wow. When I started my training year recently I think I used to say this, 'oh I'm really enjoying it thanks, it's so tiring though! So different from uni!'. I didn't realise it was such a terrible thing to say and I was 22. I was just nervous and it seemed politer than just saying 'it's great thanks' and nothing else. It's hard to make small talk when you're new.

Poor girl. She sounds really enthusiastic and lovely and as long as she's saying positive things too I don't see what's so wrong with saying it's tiring, it just means she's working hard. The first 3 or 4 weeks of full time work knocked me for six, I napped most nights. If she's just being negative then yeah, say something. But say it nicely or better yet get a more junior/younger colleague to have a chat. You do sound a bit smug in your posh office, I really feel for her.

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