Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you don't want it, give it back?!

84 replies

FieryChipotle · 03/07/2013 13:55

I've given all of my baby stuff to a friend in need. Both her and DH are out of work and got DC3 on the way. She asked me and even though I was going to sell it as I am hard up myself (had to rent house out as cant afford my mortgage) I let her have it
because she has nothing. It was all in excellent condition, some of it practically new as my own DTs spent a very long time in hospital.

I have just been on FB to see that every item is for sale on one of the selling sites.

I'm furious. AIBU? And also, WWYD?

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 03/07/2013 13:58

I would ask for it back.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 03/07/2013 13:59

YANBU - you should call her and ask for it back as you could do with the money yourself. What a cheeky cow - she def needs pulling up on it! The fact that she asked you for it and now is selling it.....well, it's unbelievable really.

QueenofallIsee · 03/07/2013 13:59

Cheeky bint - i would be saying, can I have my XX back now mate as I have another preg friend who will benefit! I cannot believe her nerve

jenniuol · 03/07/2013 14:00

Yanbu! That's shocking. I'd do exactly what clouds says and ask for it back.

bulletwithbutterflywings · 03/07/2013 14:00

Yanbu. I would have it out with her.

moustachio · 03/07/2013 14:01

My friend got given a pram, then sold it on ebay when she was done with it! how fucking rude. Comment on one of the pics and embarass her!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 03/07/2013 14:02

I think it would be totally reasonable to phone her and say look, I think there's been a misunderstanding here.

I said you could have those things because you asked me for them and said you needed them.

I wanted to sell them myself but I decided to help you.

Now I find that instead of using them, you are selling them.

I am not happy about that. I would like them back please. That's not what we agreed at all and I feel used.

lowercase · 03/07/2013 14:03

You shouldn't have given it away if you couldn't afford to.

Just be honest and say you gave her the stuff for new baby, have seen its for sale and feel like she has taken advantage.
She may try and put things right.

wouldliketobethere · 03/07/2013 14:08

The only thing you can do is ask about it. Is she really desperate and unable to feed her family and nothing else to sell? Otherwise you can only ask - if she refuses to return it then you have lost a friend basically, but not much else you can do as you did give the stuff to her.

I wouldn't mind if someone sold something I gave them provided they had used it first and provided I had given it away willingly if you see what I mean. I have given away lots of outgrown things. But I gave a double pushchair to someone who said they needed it and found out that they sold it on ebay within a month. To me that is taking it under false pretences.

Squitten · 03/07/2013 14:10

YANBU! I would do exactly what Hecsy says.

aldiwhore · 03/07/2013 14:15

Agree with Hecsy too.

I gave away most of my boys' babythings, when I gave them I said use them or pass them on, but if you sell at a profit I better see a cut.

Purpletots · 03/07/2013 14:18

I would be on the phone to her right now. What a cheeky cow!!

When me dd was younger I was given a pram and now have dc3 on the way. The pram is too heavy for me now so I will be giving it away as it would feel wrong to sell it.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 03/07/2013 14:22

I gave all our baby things away to a shelter and to friends - when given to friends I just asked that if they didn't use it anymore/want it, that they give it away to their friends or charity, kind of extend the 'pay it forward' idea.

YANBU, just say what hecsy said.

Theselittlelightsofmine · 03/07/2013 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBungle · 03/07/2013 14:30

I'd ask for it back too.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 03/07/2013 14:32

Everyone is in agreement!! What a turn up for the books.

Have you called her yet? I would. YANBU

valiumredhead · 03/07/2013 14:36

I disagree, unless you specify you want it back, then once you have given something away then that's that.

KirjavaTheCat · 03/07/2013 14:38

That is shocking. Is she so desperate for money she's taking donations from friends, to sell?! And so blatantly. Ask for it back!

I had this happen when I gave next door our (rather expensive when we bought it) trampoline when we moved. She asked for it because she said she never saw DS or anyone play on it very often, and her grandson would love it. A week later it was on a facebook selling site for £60. Takes the royal piss!

valiumredhead · 03/07/2013 14:40

When I had ds I was given loads of things,I had no idea people expected them back. Someone gave me a sling then asked for it back 2 years later as their friend was having a baby. I had to tell them I'd passed it on.

valiumredhead · 03/07/2013 14:41

OP, your friend is obviously hard up, does it really matter? I'd be pleased I'd done something to help tbh.

valiumredhead · 03/07/2013 14:42

Sorry just read your post properly and you ate in the same boat. Ignore all that!

valiumredhead · 03/07/2013 14:43

Ate = are

NeedSomeSun142 · 03/07/2013 14:52

Cheeky bitch !! Comment underneath with a sarcastic remark see if she gets the hint!!

Original poster
FieryChipotle · 03/07/2013 14:59

I've posted a comment on one of the items for sale saying 'if you don't want the things I have given you, you can drop them round to my mum's tonight.'

I know I shouldn't have given her the stuff if I couldn't afford to, I just really wanted to help like people did with me when I had my first child and I was hard up. I think someone mentioned it here (sorry, using phone app so I can't name check easily) about the idea of 'paying it forward.' Whenever anyone has given me something and I don't need it any more, I either offer it back or I pass it on!

The neighbour and the trampoline story is very cheeky by the way! Shock

OP posts:
Cherriesarelovely · 03/07/2013 15:20

That would REALLY piss me off. I don't blame you at all for feeling annoyed. Yes you did give them to her but you did so on the understanding that she wanted them even though you were hard up yourself. Definitely say something.

Swipe left for the next trending thread