To leave a 'friends' house after watching him hit his 9 year old.... V hard

[Yummyummy]

20 stone bloke, after about 10 beers and a few spirits..... His daughter caught his foot by accident running by, he turned round and walked over to her and absolutely belted her across her bare thigh ( she was in a vest top and shorts)

Me dh and our dc walked calmly to the door, dh said he didn't feel comfortable with what we just witnessed , we r leaving and we drive home 40 miles even though we should have stayed over.

Now receiving emails asking why we havent been in touch since and how we should apologise for leaving and questioning him in his own house.

He's getting even angrier that we haven't responded so far. Coming through thick and fast and I am actually a tiny bit concerned thinking if he could hit his child like this ten what is he capable of?

Not sure how to deal with this :/ don't want to any ANY fuel

Just out of interest, how well did you and your family know them before ? Where did this friendship arise from ? You were originally going to stay over, weren't you ?

You have usually spent a fair amount of time in someone's company before getting to this point

Are they related to you ? Is this why you seem reluctant to take any action ?

what blackbirdatglanmore said. My thighs were often red for doing nothing and only my grandmother ever said anything.

A friend walking out would have mortified my mother.

I would have walked out but not before telling him his beaviour was out of order

Please call the police please

I would tell them straight out why you left and why you will not be having any more to do them. I would also report him to the police and social services. if he behaves like this in front of other people what on earth does he do in private ?

You need to tell him why you left.

In no uncertain terms. See what his response is.

I am not sure I would report him, I think it very much depends on what he's usually like, did it seem to you that this was something that came naturally? It's hard to judge, so perhaps it is better that you leave the judgement to the authorities.

10storeylovesong gives good advice.

I agree that a bully who hits a child and sends bullying emails is actually a coward. He knows he's in the wrong and is trying to make you feel like the unreasonable ones - he's probably not at all used to being confronted, especially 'in his own home' where it seems he follows his own rules completely.

Good luck with phoning someone and getting advice.

You do realise that if the OP had tried to evacuate the the other children and the wife, then the wife could have turned on her as well, along with the children? It's not as easy as the champion on a white horse scenario some of you envisage. The wife may well be a victim of DV or abuse, and passive in the face of it, but if her family is threatened she might respond in a hostile manner to her 'rescuers'
Police officers often find themselves being clobbered by both adults when they intervene in a DV incident.
OP, you did well to walk out, but you need to contact outside authorities now.

nobody ever suggested OP tried to evacuate the wife and her kids
my suggestion and what I would have done was to confront him (sending the kids to bedroom first) and let him dig his own grave...things scalate/call police immediately.
I very much doubt the bully would harm the OP and her husband and their children.......
And why on earth they are socializing with him anyway and being happily there while he is getting drunk and nasty.....?
There is more to this story and I hope OP see some sense for the sake of those kids

If he is prepared to assault her like that in front of witnesses, what on earth is he doing to her in private. For god's sake, report him.

What is it that people think is going to happen; if the OP 'reports' this man?

I would have remove myelf and my family from there home, and called the police from the car.

Where was the childs mother?

even if OP report now, it's going go be her word against his, I doubt the mother will go against her husband now, she is probably afraid.

shame

Op I think a lot of people would feel exactly like you and would also be scared to do more. I think those people will be lurking and are unlikely to post because it goes against the flow of posts here. We all know what we should do. It takes a very brave person to actually do it.