to feel saddened about " breast feeding covers

[Theas18]

lady on the next table in the cafe I'm in ifs beat feeding a lovely month or so old baby under a huge bib.

maybe she feels " happier about it" and all that but really. What do you see for a happily breastfeeding b baby-the back of a sweet little head? no big deal and very normal.

Why are we ( society) doing this to mums and babies. surely a 6 month old won't tolerate it anyway, so I guess they give up then :(

Umm, why compare normal exposure of the breast while breastfeeding, which is common in many countries, with genital exposure? They aren't remotely comparable. Exposing your breast while breastfeeding is normal in much of the rest of the world. Exposing your genitals in public is pretty much unacceptable in 99.9% of all social groups.

Prior to the widespread commercial availability of formula almost all women in the UK breastfed, mostly without covering the top of their breast or their nipple, despite keeping the rest of their bodies fully covered. African women mostly wear western clothes, and have all of their bodies fully covered when they are breastfeeding, but they DON'T hide their breast while they are using it to feed their baby!

It's only in Westernised countries where people are squeamish about lactation that women routinely seem to feel the need to cover the breast that the baby is feeding from, (thereby covering the baby as well!)

I'm all for people breastfeeding wherever and whenever they want... but, here in the UK and in the US and some other countries we just do not ever expose breasts when not feeding, we don't do naked saunas or spas (mixed or single-sex), we do minimal naked sunbathing, many people don't even like communal single-sex changing rooms....

So it should not be a suprise that many women find it hard to switch from 'cover breasts' to 'dont need to worry about covering breasts' mentality the moment their baby is born... many women relax gradually as they get used to it... some never do... i don't see why that would be such a surprise to anybody??

Mini

I agree with you, that in an ideal world, breasts wouldn't be seen purely as sexual, and women would feel free to expose them in the name of breastfeeding.

But I think the way the OP picks out one woman, who is doing what everyone thinks is "best"and is still not doing it right.

I think the phrase "maybe she feels 'happier about it' "is particularly sniffy.

I think that whatever makes women happy to breastfeed should be applauded. I think that reasons for not breastfeeding are more complex than "squeamishness about lactation", and that if you do have a problem with formula companies, then choosing to start a thread like this in the way she did, does not give women the support they need.

Agree with badguider, as well.

By the way I live in an Asian country where breast feeding is the norm and most women here cover up or use feeding rooms.

It's wrong to say women only cover up in Westernised countries.

Why feel sad?? Baby breast fed, mummy happy and comfortable to do it with the cover. I used one with my first and use it occasionally now with my second. There are a lot of things in the world worthy of your sadness. This is not one of those things.

If women never seeing a baby latched on was irrelevant in relation to the destruction of breastfeeding over the last 40 years in the UK (and it is in a sorry state, despite the increasing numbers starting breastfeeding - most stop within a few weeks) this would be a non-issue, but I think the invisibility of breastfeeding IS a factor in our current situation re: baby feeding.

Nobody should judge individual women for their choice to flourish a mini-tent/burka to feed under, and I'm not sure that's what the OP is doing. But it's not unreasonable to bemoan a culture that makes women feel the need to wear breastfeeding burkas/mini-tents, while allowing and encouraging a massive amount of exposure of women's bodies for commercial purposes.

mini ok, fair enough it was an extreme example. But my point was that every person in the world is socially conditioned, the women who breastfeed openly included. That's why they do it - because they have been socially conditioned to do so. What women consider normal in other countries is pretty irrelevant to us here in the UK. I agree that there is a lot of work to be done to reverse the excessive sexualisation and fetishisation of people's bodies (because men's bodies are not entirely excluded from this either). But I find it odd that people would be surprised or saddened that so many women feel more comfortable covering their breasts while feeding. It's a pretty obvious thing to do when your breasts are covered pretty much all of your non-feeding life.

I also think that trying to persuade women that they should feel comfortable exposing their breasts when feeding pretty is unimportant. It's also rather a tall order considering how taboo it is to expose your breasts in public. Maybe it would be more effective to focus on supporting women to breastfeed without pain or difficulty, and then they can decide for themselves how modest they want to be when in public.

Sorry should say is pretty unimportant

mini if you don't think women should be judged for their clothing choice when feeding then could you refrain from using terms like 'mini tent/burka'. That in itself is pretty judgy.

I would never judge an individual woman for using one and know how horrendous it is in the early days to get a baby to latch on. But I don't particularly like the existence of feeding covers or indeed BFing tops or feeding cushions. It seems like companies are creating a market where ideally a product shouldn't be needed.

I have to speak up! I used a BF shawl til DD was 1 and it was because she would get distracted if she could see what was going on! The shawl was the only thing that stopped her pulling off mid-meal and getting my enormous breasts spraying the next table by accident

I might actually start marketing a nursing cover under the name Breastfeeding Burka. Except maybe spell it like this: 'Br*tfeeding Burka' so as not to offend the sensibility of people who don't want to even see the word 'breast' let alone deal with the reality of an actual mammary (or 'bap' as they are usually referred to in posts commenting unfavourably on indiscrete breadtfeeding) in a baby's mouth.

I might make a mint.

Wish I'd thought of making and selling jezebel.com/5882886/the-very-best-hat-for-a-breast+feeding-baby these]]

these

YANBU. I saw a lady using one the other day and i felt the same. It adds to the impression there is something shameful about breastfeeding, that it should be kept hidden.

And I don't think the OP was judging one particular woman for her choice, rather that it saddens her that there exists a market for these products because women are generally shamed for breastfeeding in public.

Not wanting to expose your nipples to the world doesn't mean you feel shamed for breastfeeding though! And if you're new to it and struggling to get the latch right, or have a baby who likes to bob on and off the boob, then there's a good chance your nipples will get an airing unless you cover up with something. Which is fine for some people but not at all fine for others. I am proud to bf but my nipples are me and my baby's business as far as I'm concerned.

I have never had any negative responses to breastfeeding in public. In fact I remember a thread on here recently asking people for examples of negative comments they've had while breastfeeding and far more people said that they've always either been ignored or had nice comments from people.

Honestly I think it's a non-issue.

Love that link, Mini

I used those huge bibs for all 3 of my dc. Fantastic invention.

When I was breastfeeding you could see a lot more than a 'sweet little head'. My breasts were about 3 times the size of my dc's head.

I was indeed a lot 'happier' with a breastfeeding cover in public.

Society hasn't made me ashamed of breastfeeding or of my body.

Funnily enough, I just don't like revealing my breasts and nipples to people, with or without a baby feeding from them.

OP YANBU.

I have breast fed my three children and never had a bib. I don't like them as I agree that they give the impression that feeding your baby is something to be ashamed of. We live in a very strange society that encourages women to hide away their breasts when feeding their babies but then has them exposed in the media for pleasure.

I think ICBINEG and minifingers and others have made many very good points in this discussion. We as women should support each other to move society to change. There was a time when a woman's ankles were considered to be risque.

Yabu - how ridiculous to say covers give an impression of being ashamed of breast feeding. Using a cover got me out and about in the early days when I struggled to get a latch without needing to have everything out in the open - it helped me to feel confident to feed anywhere. Now we are more adept I rarely use it but still find it useful if I am somewhere that I feel less comfortable/relaxed. I love breast feeding and am proud of my body and its ability to nourish my baby but don't really want the world to see my nipples or to squirt milk on people. Frankly how anyone can find this upsetting is beyond me. As a culture we do not regularly expose our breasts/nipples in public - why should I start now. FWIW I don't make judgements about people who breastfeed differently from me - I think it's bloody ridiculous to do so!

YABU, OP.

It's none of your business how a woman feels comfortable feeding her baby.

Yanbu. I always think mug when I see them used.

This bloody site, I love it and use it regularly but sometimes it makes me so sweary, ranty, shouty, like now.

Stop being such wankers. It's not a feminist issue
it's not about conditioning it's a bit of cloth. I fed DD1 till 22 months and hated doing it in public. I used muslins and blankets to cover me. Incidentally I have fabulous tits I just choose not to show them in public.

DD2 is almost 8 months, still feeds every time we go out of the house under 1 of my 2 fabulous covers. In that time I must have been approached and asked by a minimum of 50 people "what is it, where did you get it?" They didn't all look repressed and submissive and shock fucking horror I've gone past your 6 month mark.

Fucking jog on love.

Forgot to mention - Fuck off to the ridiculous immature notion of "ashamed to be feeding" if that was the case they/I would switch to FF.