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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with these parents who BUY under age kids booze for parties?

131 replies

EliotNess · 30/06/2013 10:23

who the fuck are they? S1 goes to a party, he is 14 almost 15. Who buys annabel frigging 48 cans of lager?
I don't feed my kid lager. It is against the law to buy alcohol for under 16s and it is also bloody irresponsible.

the whole french watered down wine mantra has been proven to be a hug middle class fallacy and this condoning of drinking yet ranting about Booze britain is starting to get on me tits

OP posts:
Floppityflop · 30/06/2013 10:52

StealthPolarBear, I imagine a lot of responsible licensees would do exactly that.

StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2013 10:55

I used to work in a restaurant, so possibly I'm remembering what my boss told me to do

clam · 30/06/2013 10:58

OK, this is interesting. Ds is having mates round here next Saturday evening for his 17th. Dh and I will be in, but not too visible, and we're wondering what to offer for drinks. Last year we had a fridge full of J2Os and coke/lemonade etc.. - few ciders I think. They were all fine with that (grateful and polite Shock )
Ds has suggested saying no spirits to be brought along, but
I think we're OK with a few bottles of lager/cider. As I said, we'll be in the house (providing the bbq, for a start). Where do we stand with this?

Original poster
EliotNess · 30/06/2013 10:59

i would say that is the PERFECT case to have lager ( very weak) available.

I agree no spirits but I think they will smuggle

OP posts:
mrsjay · 30/06/2013 11:01

yanbu he is 14 why do folk think oh it is ok It isnt ok, Id be livid if my 15 yr old was given or bought drink at a party some adults think it is so they can supervise the drinking or some such bollox Angry

TheFallenNinja · 30/06/2013 11:03

One day, Hollywood will release a movie, it will be about the day that teenagers took over the world as parents competed to be the coolest, and we didn't even see it.

I believe they're talking to Denzel about the lead.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 30/06/2013 11:03

OP, sorry to be mildly critical but it is your responsibility to find out about parties your DS is going to. At that age I would be calling to find out about whether there was parental supervision, whether alcohol was being served and if so would decide whether or not my DS was going. I now do the same for my DD and am glad to say she recently didn't go to a party where cocaine was provided by the 14 yo host!!!!

Original poster
EliotNess · 30/06/2013 11:05

working - you are undoubtably right and in fact that is a good point.

OP posts:
Original poster
EliotNess · 30/06/2013 11:05

lol at NInja

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2013 11:05

clam at 17 I think that's the time where providing a couple of bottles of lager or whatever is OK.

Original poster
EliotNess · 30/06/2013 11:06

Working
did you have an experience where it went wrong before you adopted that policy?

OP posts:
mrsjay · 30/06/2013 11:07

*One day, Hollywood will release a movie, it will be about the day that teenagers took over the world as parents competed to be the coolest, and we didn't even see it.

I believe they're talking to Denzel about the lead.*

with Jaden smith as the leader of the teens Grin

StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2013 11:08

I seem to have set myself up as the drinking police. Qualitifcations: 6yo and 3yo whose favourite drinks are both milk, and sometimes are allowed the hard stuff (orange juice) :o
I do have an interest in the subject though, and while the idea of getting watered down wine from the age of 9 and therefore growing up with a "take it or leave it" attitude to alcohol sounds so lovely, that's not backed up by the evidence.

breatheslowly · 30/06/2013 11:08

I've heard of a vodka bar for a 15 yo's birthday. The drunk children are then either returned to their parents or to A&E.

mrsjay · 30/06/2013 11:12

stealth you are just getting it all sorted when they do reach that age they will know where you stand, I didnt make alcohol taboo but I didnt encourage it either or let them try It didnt make alcohol a forbidden fruit and so far (touch wood) i havn't had a steaming drunk teen, it is a huge problem round here well like a lot of places really teenage drinking, and I know a few cool mums who let their dc drink and now they are adults they drink all the time,

burberryqueen · 30/06/2013 11:12

i will buy my 14 year old a beer or two, but BOOZE as in hard spirits i find it shocking that parents buy it for their teens, and they do!! Bottle of vodka and all sorts! i dont even like alcopops

StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2013 11:14

mrsj I'd love to put it down to my superior parenting but those genuinely are their preferences.
If haribo lead to drug use mine will be on crack by the age of 12

Original poster
EliotNess · 30/06/2013 11:14

i think there needs to be a sense of disapproval too. They arent adults - they cannot career around drunk

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/06/2013 11:16

YANBU

But just to clarify, how many kids were there?

I mean how many cans of lager did they all get given?

mrsjay · 30/06/2013 11:16

I agree with you elliot it seems unpopular with some parents to actually disapprove of childrens behaviour,

Floppityflop · 30/06/2013 11:22

I think that if alcohol is served in the home to under-18s it should only actually be seved by the adult otherwise you are moving into the area of illegality. The adult has then bought alcohol for the under-18.

ExcuseTypos · 30/06/2013 11:23

They think they're being cool don't they? Instead they are actually being twats.

I just hope the 14 years olds leave plenty of puke dotted around the house. That should teach them.

thebody · 30/06/2013 11:26

It's extremely difficult. The ages of 14 to 17 are a bloody minefield.

With ours we worked on the basis rhat we trusted them to act responsibly. we did a party by party basis, allowed then all to go but if anyone came home drunk, ill or in some sort of trouble then all bets were off and they had to start from scratch to build up our trust again.

Both lads were mildly merry on occasions but were 16+ so not too awful. The girls are 13 and 14 now and so far no trouble.

You can't really have hard and fast rules for teens, its such a changing age that what works one week doesn't another.

Venue parties are the best as clubs/ pubs are very strict about serving them.

All teens will drink, all teens will probably get drunk at least once and most will have sex by 18. That's life.

You just got to hope and pray your teen survives it all.

landofsoapandglory · 30/06/2013 11:27

From the age of 14 I have allowed my DSes to take 3 small bottles of lager to parties. DS1 is 18 now and has never, ever been falling down puking drunk (that will change next week, he is going to Malia on Wednesday), and DS2 is 16 and one of the few who attend parties and know when to stop. He has a maximum of 4 bottles of beer over 5 or 6 hours.

The kids who were not allowed it and have parents who went ballistic over them having a can of lager when they were fourteen are the ones who chuck it down their necks, end up puking all over the place or in A&E, IME.

StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2013 11:29

but that is your experience landofsoap. The evidence does not show that children who start drinking with their parents, early, are better off as adults.