to be pissed off with these parents who BUY under age kids booze for parties?

[EliotNess]

who the fuck are they? S1 goes to a party, he is 14 almost 15. Who buys annabel frigging 48 cans of lager?
I don't feed my kid lager. It is against the law to buy alcohol for under 16s and it is also bloody irresponsible.

the whole french watered down wine mantra has been proven to be a hug middle class fallacy and this condoning of drinking yet ranting about Booze britain is starting to get on me tits

[SirChenjin]

DS is nearly 16 and has started going to parties. We will buy him 3 or 4 small bottles of cider (lower end of the abv range) but I am surprised at the amount of alcohol some turn up with.

The rule here is this - you come home falling down drunk, you don't go to the next party.

[lottieandmia]

I think it's fine for parents to do this if they do it sensibly and supervise properly. If the kids end up sick afterwards then clearly they weren't supervised enough and there was no moderation.

[lottieandmia]

I think landofsoap has a point - I certainly observed people at university going a bit mad with alcohol when they had previously not been allowed to drink. I don't know about any research though.

[StealthPolarBear]

mentioned here, no refs that I can see

[StealthPolarBear]

I'm sorry to hear that and hope you are OK now.

[AcrylicPlexiglass]

Oh god. Reading this with huge trepidation as 14 y.o. son has somehow managed to talk me into letting him have a party next week. I have told him it's going to be the most boring party in the world ever with no alcohol, no smoking, no entry to uninvited reprobates and strict supervision by very uncool parents in the hope of putting him off but he is still keen and wants to go ahead. He went to one yesterday that had 30 extra uninvited guests, drink flowing like a raging river, smoking, drugs on the fringes, an unhinged parent with violent tendencies calling round to complain that his child hadn't been invited and it was bullying, etc etc ad infinitem. I am quaking in my uncool crocs...

[EliotNess]

Yup. Stealth good link
%Research shows the earlier a child starts drinking, the higher their chances of developing alcohol abuse or dependence in their teenage years and as an adult. Children who drink before age 15 are most vulnerable to alcohol misuse later in life.^

[landofsoapandglory]

Stealth, with due respect you have a 6 and a 3 yo so have no experience of teens, alcohol and parties apart from your own. I have an 18yo and a 16yo.

My teens have been going to parties for 4 years, DS1 now goes to pubs and clubs too. We have a very responsible attitude to drinking in our house. I have never been drunk, ever, not even when I was a teen. I am teetotal, DH drinks minimal amounts, maybe a bottle of beer or small cider on a Saturday. My DC have never, ever seen DH drunk (and neither have I). We have educated our DC about drinking responsibly, alcohol has never been the forbidden fruit, they were allowed wine with lemonade in at Christmas from about 10.

When they started to be invited to parties, we knew they would be responsible. They knew they were not to come home drunk, or end up in A&E. They had no interest in getting that drunk. DS1 said the other day that when he is on holiday next week he isn't going drinking to excess every night, he is going to go to the old town with another boy for a couple of nice meals.

DS2 went to a party on the day he left school last month. A boy there was allowed lager for the first time. Within 2 hours he had drunk so much he was vomiting copiously and an ambulance had to be called. That is not the first time that has happened in my boys' circles of friends.

Just because you can not find any 'evidence' doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

[WorraLiberty]

Do you know how many beers each child got OP?

[StealthPolarBear]

But that contradicts the evidence. And your children are a tiny sample

[StealthPolarBear]

Ans not randomly selected

[mrsjay]

mrsj I'd love to put it down to my superior parenting but those genuinely are their preferences.
If haribo lead to drug use mine will be on crack by the age of 12

well Stealth they have a lot going on a slight cola addiction and a rubbish childminder who doesn't do international trips no hope for them really

[mrsjay]

but land i like to have drink and we never allowed or were easy going about alcohol dd went to a similar end of exam party a few years ago and yes she had a drink no she was not pissed and throwing up everywhere, you can teach children to be responsible about alcohol and not allow alcohol she is now an adult and sometimes she gets drunk when she goes out sometimes she won't I think for a 20 yr old she is a balanced drinker

[itsallshitandmoreshit]

Some parents are hugely irresponsible.

My DS is 16 and since then i have occasionally bought him a 4 pack of lager or a bottle of cider for a party. I don't really want to but I'm trying to be 'realistic'.

A few weeks ago his mate's parents picked him outside my house. I happened to go upstairs and overheard a conversation out of the window as he was getting in the car.

"Right ( to my DS and his pal) me and your mum have bought you a litre of vodka, a litre of gin and a litre of whiskey, that will be okay for you two? I can get beers as well if you want?"

These people are educated, wealthy, intelligent and professional people. Who the fuck gives 16 years the tools to kill themselves? Very different to a 4 pack!

I immediately spoke to the father who was very defensive and made me feel like I was a right square and insinuated it was no wonder my son wanted to spend time at their house if that was my attitude. Cock!

My DH said I should have reported him to the police but I didn't.

[TheFallenNinja]

I think buying that quantity is reckless at best, it makes the holder of such treasure a bee line for those that do not and mistakenly buys popularity, it also diminishes any quantity controls that may be in place. It also says that party = alcohol and the whole focus is on that.

[mrsjay]

what a cock indeed itsa oh as long as there is cool parents the uncool will look square boring and strict

[cory]

Anecdotal evidence from the cory household doesn't seem to help the matter much:

I was brought up in a non-drinking household where alcohol was viewed negatively: I am a moderate drinker

dh was brought up in a fairly heavily drinking household and was encouraged to try alcohol in his teens: he is a moderate drinker

as for dd, she is on a permanent cocktail of painkillers and other medication so the temptation of adding alcohol to that mix is minimal: she goes to parties and watches others get drunk

we'll have to see what happens when ds gets old enough for these parties- should be any time soon

but I will not be hosting them, and he knows that

have already told them that I have seen a case of acute alcohol poisoning in a young teen and I am never going to take the risk of that happening on my watch

[burberryqueen]

yes a right cock, carry on being square and boring...

[cory]

"as for dd, she is on a permanent cocktail of painkillers and other medication so the temptation of adding alcohol to that mix is minimal: she goes to parties and watches others get drunk"

sorry, that sounds almost as if she enjoyed watching others getting drunk; of course she doesn't, but that is how parties go

and the reason I never went to any when I was 16- things weren't that different then

[EliotNess]

haha
I dont think we would get an educated response from someone called Burberyyqueen tbh

[Birdsgottafly]

I think the biggest influence is the lifestyle of your family, then peer group and research backs that up.

I started to allow some alcohol at around 14, i hardly drink, so this was joining in with me having one drink.

My eldest DD only drinks on rare nights out (because of working hours).

My middle DD is 18 this year, drink doesn't interest her, neither does going to "Town". She is planning an activity holiday with friends for their combined 18th celebrations.

I only ever allow alcohol to my middle DD's 14/15 year old friends, with their parents permission, if they decline, then we all don't drink. This tends to be when i am taking them to concerts etc.

I agree that teens need supervision when there is drink about and it is important that they are given the example that alcohol should be occasional and not to just abuse or to use to relax.

I think it is as dangerous to be giving the message that alcohol is a way to unwind, i personally don't like the whole "wine o'clock" thing.

[StealthPolarBear]

I think burberry waa agreeing that square and boring is better than dead or an alcoholic

[Startail]

We got served in pubs at 14 plus so I feel hypocritical taking to hard a line on booze, but the odd drink at weddings or at home with a meal and loads at a party are very different things.

We couldn't afford to get drunk at pub prices, cans and bottles of spirits without a measure can quickly get out of hand.

I don't know the answer as my 15y DD1 (who happily drinks wine and beer when we have it with food) only has ludicrously well behaved, strictly brought up friends and the only booze has been a toast on NYE.

DD2 is 12 and some of her friends are to be trusted, others may I think may be more trouble. She's far more sociable and far more likely to do what her peer group does. Although she doesn't like booze yet.

[burberryqueen]

haha
I dont think we would get an educated response from someone called Burberyyqueen tbh
I am studying for my masters and work as an academic proofreader. So ner.
I was agreeing....try reading the posts, it helps.