To think that 8 p.m. is too late for children to eat their tea?

[whatever5]

Dh cooks tea for us all on Saturday (I cook during the week) and as usual he is outside having a beer in the garden at 7 p.m. rather than getting on with cooking.

He can't see the problem and thinks that I am being unreasonable and "controlling" to be annoyed that the children (age 9 and 12) won't get any food until 8 p.m.

Am I being unreasonable?

Are there seriously people with 2 yr olds who feed them after 8pm? Ours is in bed by 7pm (until 7am or later if she could). We'd have to be masochists to feed her much after 6pm.

Why should OP cook it herself when it's her DH's agreed chore and three out of four people want to eat earlier?

If he'd cooked at 6:30pm he'd still have had time for a beer in the garden after!

Listen,he's told you he thinks you're being unreasonable and controlling.

And when it's his turn to cook,he always makes it for 8 pm or after.

You may be in charge of what happens the other 6 nights a week....on this one night a week,he gets to do it his way.

Make adjustments...eat a later lunch,have an afternoon snack...but you know this is the way it happens when he is 'chef',stop digging your heels in.

It really won't damage your kids to have a late tea/dinner once a week.Is there sleeping/bedtime routine regimented for the full 7 nights too? (please,please tell me you don't send your rapidly growing children to bed at the same time on a Summer Saturday night as you do on a school night...)

We always eat at 5 if we can. Hunger drives us too cook then!

dinner at 8 for children of that age is completely normal.

I think its ok. But if the majority are unhappy with it and hungry, then its not ok.

If a 9 and 12 year old can't make themselves a sarnie around 6 oclock then I wonder what's going on. food in cupboard? tick. food in fridge tick? let them get on with it and then eat dinner/tea/supper when its served up by dh.

Unless you need to control what they eat to the point of still making the snacks at that age, then I can't see the issue.

Dinner on a full tummy? so what?

Did no one else grow up being told it's bad for digestion to lie down after dinner? Just me and OP?

I cant bear this order and strictness.

Like being in the army.

You need cognitive BT.

Try eating at totally different times and realise you all still live and survive.

Where do I sign up??

I don't think having regular meal and bedtimes is that radical or controlling. I'd say its just having a healthy life style.

I can understand sitting around in the garden having an extended meal with a glass of wine.

However, children foraging for sandwiches then late fish and chips is not Mediterranean eating. I can't say I wouldn't ever be in a situation where I did this. However it would be because I couldn't be bothered to cook, not a life style choice.

Allan-not just you

The OP needs CBT, seriously? Rude!

8pm is normal for ds (aged 8) at the weekend.

In the week he eats with his younger brother at 5:30 ish but at the weekend he eats with us between 8 and 9.

Yabu. It is not a big deal at all provided that they have access to small, healthy snacks. Poor dh, I hope he managed to enjoy his beer.

Allan - I said the same.

It's not a big deal if everyone's happy but the kids are hungry and the OP wants to eat earlier too. Is it really a big deal to eat a bit earlier?

It smacks of 'I'll cook but only when I say, and of you don't like out then cook it yourself' which isn't a nice attitude.

Perhaps Saturdays should be brand on toast night?

It not out

YABU and uptight.

Weekends should be about relaxing and going with the flow imo. If your DH is in charge of dinner on a Saturday then let him be in charge.

Agree with those who say the DC's should eat fruit if hungry-what a great way to get a few portions of fruit down them.

I cook on a Saturday (if we're not going out) and I don't get round to it until much later than during the week, serving up anywhere between 7.00 and 9.00.

Anyway, as I said earlier just LTB and it's all sorted

Dh and I wouldn't cope eating at 8pm - let alone the kids. Breakfast at 9.30
Lunch at 1
Tea at 5.30
Supper if needed at 9

Might be regimented but works for us!

Fish and chips? Did I he just chuck frozen fish and chips in the oven or did he make 'proper' fish and chips.

If it was the first, there is no way I'd wait until 8.40 for that.

hahahahaha - I love all the fruit or toast suggestions for a snack to keep them going from lunchtime to 8.40pm some very worthy parents on MN - mine would have had a sandwich, some crisps, fruit and a biscuit to keep them going til then!! they are 10 and 12 and would have been pestering for food from 6pm....

YANBU OP.

It doesn't matter if everyone else is happily eating at 10 pm. Three of the four people in your household were unhappy with the arrangement, that is what matters. Your DP could easily have made fish and chips 2 hours earlier and THEN had his beer in the garden. Much more relaxing for everyone.

This would annoy me because I think he's being controlling.
Maybe that's because he feels he has to "endure" your routine for the rest of this week and Saturday supper (dinner, tea whatever) is his field but it's a tiny bit knobbish IMO.
However, at this age it won't do them any harm I don't think.
We all like a bit of control now and again and if you argue or "nag" then you're playing into his hands as it were.
So. Be happy that your way is best but let it go.
Could you do something for yourself in this time? Habe a drink with him or lie down in a dark room (my personal dream) or do a chore you moght otherwise have to do later?
Make it look like you're all chilled about weekend mealtimes even though he's wrong and avoid the antagonism save your energy for when he's really pissing you off.

Yes madeofstardust, or in other words their evening meal would have been sandwiches etc etc eaten at their regular meal time, which makes the full evening meal at getting on for 9 a bit pointless.