Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that 8 p.m. is too late for children to eat their tea?

183 replies

whatever5 · 29/06/2013 19:15

Dh cooks tea for us all on Saturday (I cook during the week) and as usual he is outside having a beer in the garden at 7 p.m. rather than getting on with cooking.

He can't see the problem and thinks that I am being unreasonable and "controlling" to be annoyed that the children (age 9 and 12) won't get any food until 8 p.m.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
pickledthing · 29/06/2013 21:58

My dd is 10,we have only just finished our dinner(20 minutes ago) but then on Friday and Saturday she allowed to stay up till 10.30,so she not going to bed straight after dinner! Also during week we have dinner at 7.30( dp finishes work at 6 and I work till 6.30),as i like to sit at the table and have family dinner we have to eat later to accommodate around our times!! she has a snack around 3.45 and still eats an adult size meal!!!

MrsMook · 29/06/2013 22:06

We eat around 8 ish. DS1 is 2 and doesn't have to be anywhere in a hurry in the mornings. It may well have to go earlier at some point in the future, but for now it allows us to eat one meal as a family around the table as DH's time in from work varies, and DS and I go to Brownies one night a week.

Original poster
whatever5 · 29/06/2013 22:10

Shitsinger you are making a lot of assumptions. I didn't suggest that we all have to eat at 6.30 on a Saturday. I think that 8.40 p.m. (the time we had dinner in the end) is too late for the children though. This is not because I am uptight or because I don't think they can cope with hunger. It is because I don't think it is good (for digestion) to eat and then go straight to bed which is what youngest dd had to do.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 29/06/2013 22:10

Lol @the notion that if you don't have wine and nibblesHmm you aren't relaxed!

valiumredhead · 29/06/2013 22:11

I can't eat and go straight to bed or I dream all night!

banana87 · 29/06/2013 22:13

I am really bad. DD1 is eating dinner at 10pm tonight.

HildaOgden · 29/06/2013 22:13

I'm going to ask again....what did he cook? (it's relevant)

valiumredhead · 29/06/2013 22:14

Actually I've changed my mind, if he's doing a 'I'll do what I like, sod the rest of you' then he's being U.

It wouldn't hurt to get food on earlier or make something really easy so you can all relax in the garden but the kids can still eat at a decent time.

Original poster
whatever5 · 29/06/2013 22:14

Fish and chips.

OP posts:
BigBoPeep · 29/06/2013 22:15

Gosh. We're farmers and regularly eat past 9pm and go straight to bed after! Never does me any harm Grin DDs happy to eat anytime, if she's hungry she'll let me know and I give her something to put her on. Life's too short!

coffeewineandchocolate · 29/06/2013 22:17

if it was such an issue and the dc's were hungry then either cook for them yourself or get them to nag incessantlyat dp until he starts cooking? if they eat late maybe keep them up later if possible to digest the good (you may even get s lie in tomorrow :-)

pumpkinsweetie · 29/06/2013 22:19

I can see why op is pissed off though, as it is the one day he has to cook and he is obviously is putting it off, so i take back what i said earlier, didn't realise he was making a continous thing of this.

ihearsounds · 29/06/2013 22:23

Weekends we eat whenever.

You know that Saturdays involve a late dinner, have a mid afternoon snack somewhere reasonably between lunch and dinner.. This is what we sometimes do.
But then, weekends and holidays my dc's also stay awake later.. Probably going to get flamed, but the 7 year old hasn't been in bed that long.

BigBoPeep · 29/06/2013 22:24

I dunno, I cook and I therefore dictate what and when we eat. I can ask for opinions, but ultimately it's down to me. Anyone has a problem, they are more than welcome to buy a takeaway instead cook for me Grin

HildaOgden · 29/06/2013 22:25

He doesn't like being told by you what time to have the dinner on the table.

I'm guessing you wouldn't like being told what time to have the dinner on the table,either,on the nights you cook.And if he was trying to dictate it to you,we'd tell you not to accept his controlling ways.

Seriously,an apple or a slice of toast wouldn't have ruined their appetite for fish and chips.The weekend is a time to relax on schedules,surely.It's not as if the children are babies....your eldest is two thirds of the way to being an adult.

Step back.Let him be in charge of cooking on the day it's his turn.And let your children learn how to 'cope' with dinner being a bit late.It really and truly won't kill them.

Shitsinger · 29/06/2013 22:34

The weekend is a time to relax on schedules I agree
but if I had to wait for my DH to cook ... fish and chips ,would have legged it to the chippy long ago !

valiumredhead · 29/06/2013 22:38

I think if the kids were hungry and Dh felt that 8 was to late to eat then I would probably take on board the rest of the family's feelings.

I've completely changed my mind on this, in fact LVBGrin

Shitsinger · 29/06/2013 22:42

I should add my suggestion to have drinks ( not necessarily wine) and nibbles was meant to be helpful - if the DC are hungry and its a nice evening ,instead of getting ratty with DH ,take some bits out into the garden.
however now I have seen that he cooked fish and chips ( who cooks fish and chips at home ) yanbu.

valiumredhead · 29/06/2013 22:43

You forgot to say LTBWink

Shitsinger · 29/06/2013 22:46

LVB/LTB ??

valiumredhead · 29/06/2013 22:49

LTB= leave the bastard!

LVB= my stupid phone posting nonsenseGrin

BackforGood · 29/06/2013 22:49

I'd not be happy with that - forget the dc, I'd be fading away LONG before then.
Doesn't really matter what time you have your usual meal nor if you call it tea or dinner but your body gets used to it, so if you are normally eating by 6 - 6.30, then you need to be eating at a similar time at the weekend if your breakfast and dinner/lunch were at normal times. If, of course you didn't have breakfast until 11am, and then lunch at 3pm, then 8pm is OK for tea.

Shitsinger · 29/06/2013 22:50

Hahahahaha !
LTB ? Nah would just go " who wants a chippy dinner "?Grin

Shitsinger · 29/06/2013 22:53

ps " yer fathers paying "

OhMerGerd · 29/06/2013 23:26

This may sound harsh but cook it yourself if it bothers you that much. 8pm on a weekend is not that late and at 12 and 9 they could actually be cooking it for the both of you with a bit of help to prep in advance and an eye over proceedings.