To think that 8 p.m. is too late for children to eat their tea?

[whatever5]

Dh cooks tea for us all on Saturday (I cook during the week) and as usual he is outside having a beer in the garden at 7 p.m. rather than getting on with cooking.

He can't see the problem and thinks that I am being unreasonable and "controlling" to be annoyed that the children (age 9 and 12) won't get any food until 8 p.m.

Am I being unreasonable?

Why would it be bad to eat late/close to bedtime?

I have the same problem. My DC older but have always eaten early. It 's a running joke in our house now. He even asks them what time they want it.

Same here running, people say they get home from work and have no time for thier DC as in bed by 7pm.

Mine are in bed at 8pm. they look the same, achieve the same in school...why 7?

Running-ds is 12 and had tea at 5 pm latest in the week. He eats lunch at 12.30 and is ravenous by 5!

Interesting that most people seem to disagree with me as I know all my children's friends eat earlier than 8- 8.30 p.m, even on a Saturday.

I'm not particularly keen on routine and dinner certainly doesn't have to be ready at 6.30 p.m. on the dot. I just don't think that it's good (for digestion) to eat and then go straight to bed which is what 9 year old dd will end up doing.

It wouldn't be a problem if it was once in a while but DH seems to make a point of cooking late every Saturday just for the sake of it.

If they are used to eating earlier then I would think it was a bit mean to leave it till nine before eating. I can't eat that late comfortably. We tend to eat about six thirty, but we do have younger children than the OP.

Everyone on this thread is like "Oh, look at me, how lovely and relaxed I am " It is funny because on a different thread you would be getting told off for giving snacks before a meal.

I agree that 8-9pm is considered normal dinner time and it continues to surprise me that in UK, it's common for folks to have dinner around 6. And why is dinner called tea? Isn't tea what you have at 4pm?

Depends on how hungry the kids are and what they had to eat earlier in the day

Humphrey we are pretty relaxed because are DC are Teenagers and go to bed at midnight !

Agree - Gajar stop calling it tea !!!

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They're 9 and 12, if they're hungry they could feed themselves surely? Eating when you're hungry makes most sense to me, DD is 2 and already makes it perfectly clear if she's hungry and will bring food for us to open for her to eat.

Of course with a family you may not all be hungry at the same time, but then it's down to the person cooking either deciding or a negotiation, so YABU as you've not had the negotiation and you're just trying to say it's too late for your children. I suspect it's actually you who are hungry and are projecting on to the kids.

Yes but I go to bed at midnight and I still would rather eat before eight. I am 40

whatever5,what did he cook in the end?

It seems that the DH is pleasing only himself here. Perhaps he is trying to get out of cooking once a week?

'normal dinner time' in the UK is NOT 6pm. Some eat then, some don't eat until much later. Bit of a north-south thing, bit of an age thing but no absolutes.

The whole thing of tea on the table at 6.30 on a Saturday evening ,no wine, no nibbles ,no relaxation, just sounds so grim to me.
Relax OP your DC are getting older , you could enjoy it a bit more !

What time did they have dinner? I don't think 8 is late for older kids.

We are all different Shitsinger. There is no need to assume that the OP is uptight just because she wants to eat a little earlier than you. Relaxing is not all about wine and nibbles...

We don't have relaxed saturday evening dinners at all here as DH invariably has a gig to go to by five. We have lots of relaxed meals together at other times though.

YANBU
It's not the time that's the issue - its the fact that the DH is almost deliberately making a point about not making dinner when it would be done normally.

People going on about their routines and their Mediterranean style dinners is irrelevant.

Make it yourself if its bothering you that much. 9 and 12 year olds can cope with a bit of hunger.

Its sometimes a matter of realising things have changed though Humphrey
The DC are not tiny so time to move on a bit .
My DM wants dinner on the table at 5.30 sharp - and eaten and cleared away asap
Maybe we are odd but dinner is way more than refuelling in this house.

But the OP isn't saying that dinner should be ready at 5.30. She is saying that the kids are hungry and her DH hadn't STARTED cooking by eight o'clock in the evening. And perhaps he should get a move on. I cannot see she is unreasonable, or uptight.

Let's hope they have all eaten by now, anyway

although, perhaps I should read the OP more carefully as she did say seven, not eight.

'Maybe we are odd but dinner is way more than refuelling in this house'

I care so much about food that I rear my own meat and butcher it...it is not all about refuelling here either.