To be miffed

[Mullinsamy]

We have attended a friends wedding today. Not best friends but close enough. The things that have annoyed me so far:

1. They left my teenage son off the invite, just me, DP and DS2. I thought this was just an oversight but there was no place for him at the sit down meal.
2. We were put on a table of what I can only describe as the table where nobody knew anyone else, at all. Like outcasts and away from our mutual friends.
3. No meal was provided for DS2 - he is a toddler and when I queried this, I was told that we were expected to just share ours.

I probably am being over sensitive, but I spent the ceremony outside, looking after their toddler as he wanted to scream through the ceremony. I am now outside again through the speeches.

So you turned up with your teenager who wasn't invited? That'a awkward. How old is your DS2? Bit odd for them not to get him a meal.

Did you check before about your teen being invited? It is odd to leave one member of the family off the invite (unless he doesn't live with you? How old is he?).

Not acceptable to not provide a meal for an invited guest, even if said guest is a toddler.

It's very bad form to pitch up at a wedding with an uninvited guest. You should have cleared it with the couple first.

Teenage son is 14, and lives with us.

Yes but he's not been invited, has he. So he shouldn't be there.

The wedding couple have a toddler too. What did he eat then? They must have arranged something for him, so they could have sorted something for yours too. Surely. Were there other toddlers?

How old is your teen?

I would still have rung and checked that he'd been missed off by accident, rather than just turning up with him, OP.

X post.

That's odd. Rude even. 14 is still a child. Why invite one and not the other?

But they should have provided a meal for your ds2.

you took your son anyway sounds like your friends didnt want the toddler there either as they hadnt provided food, id put it down to experience

How small is DS2? Are there loads of other kids there?

But that's not the point. OP should have sorted it not just turned up with him in tow. That's more rude.

Imagine if everybpdy turned up with an uninvited guest ? i know he is your son but he really wasn't invited the bride and groom are going to be talking about you now

You can't show up with an uninvited guest and then get in a strop because there was no place for them! I also wouldn't provide a full meal for a toddler. They're quite capable of having a few bits and pieces from their parents plates.

I'd be very hurt if a 'friend' sent an invite for me, DH, youngest child but not my 14 year old child.

I would have rung to check. I think. Although i cringe at the conversation ...

''Hi, just checking on something to do with the invite ... er DS isn't on it and everyone is is that a mistake?''

awkward.

Mrsjay you is norty

everyone else is ...

You've the wrong end of a really shitty stick.

You've been hired (for free) as a babysitter for their kid while they get married.

They don't give a fuck about you or the teenage son they didn't invite

I would have rang and asked "why isnt DS1 invited"

You should have checked before just taking your 14 year old as its rude to turn up without doing so and its also rude of them to have left him off considering it was not a child free event.

BUT

It is also beyond rude to not cater for a invited guest if that guest is above 1 year old.

I would have assumed it was a mistake too, especially if the invite was from a friend and ds2 was on it. If the invite was from someone less close I would probably have either queried it or declined...I don't have access to lots of childminders (not sure if a 14yr old would need babysat...my ds is 16 months!)

However, my ds despite being 16 months can eat a full plate of food, as much as me, then help himself to mine and dh's so I would have expected a meal for him too.

I think your friend must have been stressed and mindless on the run up to the wedding...either that or just been plain rude to you and your family!

Did they not have family there to look after their child? Nothing wrong that you helped but seems odd given the invite and meal situation.

Yanbu to expect the whole family to be invited (could understand if both children weren't invited but not one) and foe them to be able to eat like everyone else.

They gave your ds2 meal to ds1 I bet as he wouldn't have been catered for

No children under the age of 5 were provided a meal apparently.

Were they any other teenage / over toddler-age children? Perhaps they didn't want children there but made exceptions for the very young.

Yes lots, from young babies to older teenagers.