Is it right to make a woman feel unclean?

[camel1]

I was saying 'thank you' to a male colleague and touched his upper arm as a reinforcement of that thanks. He recoiled in disgust, his body language, his facial expression and his yelp surprised me so much that I apologised profusely. The incident happened in front of many children, as I am a teacher at a school. And within a minute he had shook hands with a male colleague. Whether it was his intention or not, I felt that he felt I was unclean. I was/am greatly upset by this. I understand that his cultural or religious beliefs does not permit him to touch women, or vice versa. However, I have lived in many different countries and cultures, and I adhered to their cultural rules and would never have reacted in such an offensive way. What do you think?

There are many things frowned upon/ not permitted due to religious beliefs. Some are directly tied to gender, and when it is I don't respect it. It's the women can't be preachers/priests, women can't talk in public, women can't be popes. I don't respect it because it builds on antiquated views on gender and in effect renders women subhuman. I have a problem with that. Same with FGM, no right to vote, being owned by their father/brother/husband, and the list goes on.
People may well have religious beliefs, they are free to knock themselves out. Luckily, in this part of the world I'm free to disregard it. However, I would not be rude and do go to great lengths to not offend or humiliate people who are religious. If they behave in a disrespectful manner I reserve the right to call them on it.

I didnt take it that he was being rude.
I took it that he was horrified that his religion/culture had been violated, albeit not by himself.

maybe it is this religion?

www.al-islam.org/a-code-of-ethics-for-muslim-men-and-women/6.htm

He's an arse. My parents are utterly religious (Jesus everywhere you look in their house) but they would die if they felt they made someone uncomfortable. Too many men hide behind their religion to treat women like second class citizens and women are meant to accept that and put up with it? HELL NO!!!!

I think it's rude. I read this as he would also not shake a female by the hand, but was happy to shake a male by the hand after having reacted very strongly to being touched by a female. I know that for some orthodox jews being touched by a female is taboo as women may be unclean. I've gathered it is to do with menstruation being not clean, but however it is construed I find it offensive. It hinges on one half of the human race being not quite human then. It has taken a lot of work to counter that attitude and achieve equality in a small part of the world. I'm not buying the religious belief thing, and I am horrified that our culture has been violated thus.

good grief, that sounded rather pompous. But I still think he was rude.

Turbo you didn't sound pompous - you sounded correct and insightful!!! I have no time for people who make others feel like shite just because of religious beliefs. Surely God would put compassion and care for humans (and other creatures) before religious customs and laws??

Yam, how was the op to know the bloke was a rude twat/ religious mysogynist?

Agree with all of crumbled posts .

I must have got it wrong.

For decades I have been telling people that nothing, nothing, not colour, gender, clothes, mental state gives anyone the right to touch someone without consent.

I was unaware that there were exemptions to this rule.

"It has taken a lot of work to counter that attitude and achieve equality in a small part of the world. I'm not buying the religious belief thing, and I am horrified that our culture has been violated thus."

Well amen to that (see what I did there)

As regards religion, I think people should be respectful. But I dont expect a person of one religion to be in a anothe country , and swap religions
1.no one's been asked to swap religion
2.do not ask me to respect a religious belief that treats me as less than equal because I'm a woman. Don't ask for it, don't expect it, don't try to guilt trip me in to it and don't try to make me feel sorry for a horrified bloke who thinks I violated him by touching his arm. I DON'T RESPECT HIS BELIEF THAT I AM NOT HIS EQUAL.

Dione, are you serious?? There is a WORLD of difference between touching someone sexually and touching someone on the arm as a sign of friendship/affection.

Plus some people are just more tactile and demonstrative than others...should they be made to feel like unclean pariahs every time they try to show comradeship??

Little children who are never touched or held have been shown to demonstrate severe emotional disturbance. It is something that makes us human when we can reach out and hug someone, or offer a reassuring pat on the arm.

Well said, Crumbled. I will NEVER respect ANY religious beliefs that upholds the ridiculous and revolting notion that women are inferior to men. And anyone who is deluded enough to believe that can get stuffed!!

I never said anything about being touched sexually.

Dione: do you just want to give your view on a religious belief that women are not equal - that is what seems to have gone on here, rather than what you are talking about.

I know you didn't, but when people talk about no one has the right to touch you without your consent, that is the implication. Otherwise, some people would be mightily pissed off every day as people DO touch you and it is all well meaning.

thanks would appreciate it

I don't like people touching me, it's worse when it's a touch from a male but I don't like women touching me either. Someone asked me why I recoil when touched, I didn't realise it was so obvious it's just my reaction.

Nothing bad as happened to me I just don't like physical contact from anyone who is not immediate family.

If you recoil from someone touching your arm then lets hope you don't have a major accident/ heart attack/ choke it require hospital treatment!!

Break it to you gently dear... You may need to be TOUCHED!!!

Grip have one,,,

I dont see how people think they are going to change all the religions of the world to suit themselves.
Perhaps they do?

I was going to say I will give you 1000 years. But I think it will take a lot longer than that.

I dont think for a minute that the mam's religion is Chistian.

What yammy? I don't respect any such religion. I will vocalise against any attempt to make normalise these kind of behaviours or reintroduce them to a culture which left them behind a long time ago.

Do you respect a religion which treats women as inferior? Please tell me.

If a woman has a religion, I assume that can be violated too?

man's not mam's