Now he's dead they'll be minted!

[MintyFreshNow]

This is the text that SIL sent to my DH by accident instead of her own DH when my DF died. I do not know if she knows that I know about it. AIBU to think this is not a 'normal' thing to say about anyone when their DF has just died?

I really hope this has helped Minty...clearly there are enough people who agree with your take to reassure you that you're not weird!

What I hope though is that others who have said that they DO talk in this sort of way have not taken to heart the 'spiteful' and 'full of hatred' allegations. Because it is clearly equally unweird to discuss this sort of thing.

What is bloody unfortunate is that you got to hear about it, but that was just an unfortunate error, and a sign of the digital times!

I think people have differing opinions on death in a general sense. Some people are a lot more matter of fact about the whole thing and are practical about it and can find dark humour in a lot of the situations that surround it. Other people are deeply sensitive to the pain of loss and shun any need to dwell upon it needlessly. I don't think either way makes someone a bad person, but which way you lean may cloud your judgement on a scenario like this.

You are right Wizard. I am lovely ;) so can definitely rise above it and empathise when the time comes.

how crass and uncaring of her - I'm sure that was the last thing you needed to read.

If it helps at all, I doubt that it was the first thing she thought, more likely to be the tail end of a conversation.

Taken out of context, it seems cruel. But as the tenth text, preceded by nine texts expressing sympathy for you and other more palatable things, it isn't so bad IMO.

As others have said, you know her better than us, so you know whether she is usually materialistic and thoughtless or whether she is usually lovely, in which case I would give her the benefit of the doubt.

YANBU and I'm so sorry for both the loss of your father and your upset about this

I cannot imagine ever sending a text like that even to my DH, I'm far from being a saint but I have to admit it surprises me that someone could be as callous as that. It just seems such a spiteful thing to think

Sorry for your loss. It would be UR to send a text deliberately saying this but she didn't mean to. Must be very hurtful to read that. At least you now what she thinks.

I'm really sorry for your loss OP. This really wasn't something you ever needed to see, especially not right now. :(

However... I clicked on this thread thinking it was about Michael Winner or something, with MNers cheerfully speculating how much of his estate various people might have inherited. Which isn't that nice, but it's not an utterly barbaric conversation to have and not beyond the realms of something that might pop up.

SILs text was extremely blunt and horrible but it was never meant for your eyes. It wasn't insulting to anyone, just disrespectful, and the timing, context and of course recipient were completely wrong.