to wonder if putting our children first is always wise?

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

I like to start a discussion I in the morning and then go to work so I have something to pop in on during the day.

Ok, the other day I felt guilty because I was physically exhausted and so blew off sports day in order to rest before a busy evening ferrying kids about.

I felt guilty because I felt like it's wrong not to suffer any inconvenience or discomfort for even the most trivial of my children's pleasure. I "should" suck it up and stand around in the cold watching races just so my kids see me there. But, why? How is it really good for an exhausted mother with aching feet to do this? Isn't it better for mum to be rested and happy at tea time?

Obviously, some things are so important that you carry on, regardless. I didn't cancel a client in order to rest: the money is important to the family. And, if the event had been something truly important, then it would be a different matter. I would stand cold and aching if it was truly important to the child's well being.

I see a lot of threads on here from exhausted, miserable mums who are burnt out and resentful about their lives. Is some of that due to prioritising the family over their own well being?

This thread has gone all competitive and cunty.

Ooh no. Pre-chopped veg has been rinsed in chlorine so it doesn't discolour and it's ancient.

Get a magi-mix - it chops all the veg for a spag bol: 2 onions, 2 peppers, 2 courgettes, 8 mushrooms in less than thirty seconds.

I find food prep soothing. Do it without thinking. I'm not a very adventurous cook but love prepping the food my family loves to eat.

Just made a cake with ground almonds, fresh Chantilly cream and fresh raspberries, and a leg of lamb studded with rosemary and garlic for tea, with baby broad beans and asparagus from the pick your own farm. Easy stuff and it smells divine. The whole lot took less than 30 mins to prep.

LQ - my cake tastes better than M&S, I bet you a fiver!

No one personal is being a cunt in particular. Just the general tone. Sorry if I offended anyone.

Sorry Katy. Just added to the halo-polishing competitiveness without realising it. I love cooking. Other people have beautiful homes. That talent escapes me. Mine looks like the dog chased a fox round it and we don't even have a dog.

Yep, Lazy Garlic is magic. I love it.
And frozen sliced peppers
And ready mashed potatoes.

I honestly don't have the patience to chop things every night when I can open a packet.

Though we have sunk to new depths tonight.
Ds1 is eating a supernoodle sandwich.
Ds2 is eating a supernoodle sandwich.

Dd and I are eating chocolate brownies and ice cream.

LQ I would LOVE my house to be like yours. I aspire to folded knickers. I really do. There is something deeply peaceful about a really well cared for home. I sometimes babysit for a friend whose house is like yours and I come back feeling like I've been at a spa weekend.

Sadly, I wouldn't let you near my house. You'd be too knackered to eat my banquet afterwards!

Ah now I buy Lazy Lemon Grass, because I just don't use enough of it, so when I buy it fresh, I use a tiny portion, then it wilts and dries and hardens, all the while looking at me with a 'do you know how much I cost' face on it!!!

I have the "tidy" thing too.

And I have a laundry system and no one is allowed to use the washing machine because they will mess it up.
And I love folding clothes into perfect piles and putting them in the correct drawer.
And pairing odd socks. I love it when all the socks match.

That's what I do instead of cook. I would be better off cooking, no one appreciates my folding and pairing at all

Can the idea of preparing fresh food for your family be a competitive thing?

I mean, all around the world, that's what people do every single day!!!

It's not seen as high falutin' or inordinately time consuming or difficult...just one of those things you do...

Ooh no. Pre-chopped veg has been rinsed in chlorine so it doesn't discolour and it's ancient

Oh, didn't know that, good job I can't afford it then

Exactly laQueen

None of them care that I have arranged all the towels according to size and colour. Or that they always have a drawer full of immaculatly folded t-shirts.

No. They just grab what they need and mess it all up.

Or try and use my washing machine to wash 2 items on a 2 hour wash.
Oh no. Not happening.

No one cares that their pillowcases all match the duvet covers. It gives me the rage when ds1 changes his sheets and takes a pillow case that doesn't match the set.
It means there is another set with a mismatched pilliwcase.

It's all wrong.

Omg ! You are all doing it wrong
I am sitting watching the tennis C'mon Andy while DD(19) is preparing a full roast dinner and she has made a surprise ( I peaked)Strawberry Pavlova for pud .
DH has cleaned from top to bottom and because I am poorly I have fresh flowers everywhere- peonies .
Sigh

Why on earth are you lot folding other people's pants? Did Emily Wilding Davison die for this?

Granted my house is a mismatched hovel...shabby genteel is a wild aspiration round here, I tell you.

We eat well, in egalitarian squalor.

Folding pants?!?!? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

But I do cook from scratch because i find it relaxing. Does that balance things out?

I find watching homes under the hammer in my pants whilst eating malteesers very relaxing.
Horses for courses :)