to wonder if putting our children first is always wise?

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

I like to start a discussion I in the morning and then go to work so I have something to pop in on during the day.

Ok, the other day I felt guilty because I was physically exhausted and so blew off sports day in order to rest before a busy evening ferrying kids about.

I felt guilty because I felt like it's wrong not to suffer any inconvenience or discomfort for even the most trivial of my children's pleasure. I "should" suck it up and stand around in the cold watching races just so my kids see me there. But, why? How is it really good for an exhausted mother with aching feet to do this? Isn't it better for mum to be rested and happy at tea time?

Obviously, some things are so important that you carry on, regardless. I didn't cancel a client in order to rest: the money is important to the family. And, if the event had been something truly important, then it would be a different matter. I would stand cold and aching if it was truly important to the child's well being.

I see a lot of threads on here from exhausted, miserable mums who are burnt out and resentful about their lives. Is some of that due to prioritising the family over their own well being?

Actually if I was a semi decent parent myself I'd probably get myself off mumsnet and take the 3 boys in our living room ( I own only one but seem to attract more) out to the park, rather than letting them play minecraft all day long .

Sorry cory - maybe what I said was a bit cheesy, but it's important for me that DS knows that he is valued, probably because I didn't feel especially so when I was a child.

Yes LQ.
I am the same.
Luckily for me my dc aren't very appreciative of haute cuisine :)
Ds2s gave food is steamed veg and mash and ds2 would eat pizza every day :)

Oh, I'd much rather cook a nice meal than sit through sports day. And I could quite feasibly have gone, instead of finishing a project early (I've taken a chunk of today off instead). I really don't care if you think I'm a crap parent (I am, as it happens, a crap parent but that's nothing to do with sports day). I am going home to make chickpea curry instead

Yes, my dc do too.
Both have a hot breakfast each day (pancakes, beans on toast, porridge, omelette, hash browns etc)
Ds2 is a fruit and veg monster and ds1 eats no junk at all...chocolate, biscs, anything
So I don't feel too bad if they have pizza once a week or fish fingers :)
I bloody LOVE pre prepared veg

hi LaQueen

maybe I should have said that "I try to do the best....and so are most of the people I know etc"

but my "best " depends on a lot of things.
some days it's an elaborate homemade cow birthday cake complete with green coconut grass.
Sometimes it's making sure we all survive till bedtime or till DH gets home to take over coz I can not cope.

not to be a devoted mother every second of my life is fine with me.
as long as my kids know that I love them and care about them through my words and actions than I'm doing my best.

I don't want to be the best. I'm happy to be good enough!

badvoc I rarely eat breakfast. now I know why. it's because you are not making pancakes for me!

My ds1 can eat 9 in one sitting amazingmum!
They are really easy..(all the things I make are easy...I would not do them otherwise :))...they are the American style ones from Jamie Oliver's cook book.
Equally good for puddings! :)

I think most of us are just simply doing our best, it's just that it looks different from everyone else's IYSWIM

Parents have different priorities, which I think is pretty much ok as long as you love your children and want them to be happy and healthy and loved.

It doesn't matter whether you prioritize work, or sleep, or earning a living over sports days and cake sales, well I don't think it does. As long as everyone is ok. And that the children know what's going to happen.

I think if we all sat eating M&S individual ready meals I'd be in great debt to Wonga.com and thus not be a good parent. How very amusing that some saddos actually chop vegetables. The very thought!

If I could afford M&s pre-chopped veg, no doubt I'd use it :)

My mother did put me first: she gave my sports days a wide berth but always showed me how much she enjoyed my Sunday dinners.

Because she knew which achievement I was proud of.

If she'd got them muddled, she might have been able to live with herself but she wouldn't have had a very easy time living with me

I am afraid I would rather hate to live off packaged food. And would prefer my children not to live off it either.

Bloody hell, I'd love it.
If I could afford it that is.
Some of the m and s and waitrose ready meals are gorgeous (and very healthy to boot)

Oh my word. If I fed my troops ready meals I think there'd be a revolt!

I like cooking and love baking, but if i could afford it my choice would be to employ a cook so I can avoid all kitchen responsibilities a la Downton Abbey's Lady Grantham!

I'd still bake when I feel like it, but kids would never have to eat ceral for dinner again

WF, the curry is going to be divine. It has dried green mango powder and dried pomegranate powder in it, lending a fabulous tart note.

Ooh - I've never used those!

All it goes to show is that families are all different and children are all different. Some enjoy sports days, some enjoy chopping vegetables (or having them chopped for them), some don't care for either but want their parents to celebrate some third achievement that matters to them.

Dd has never been worried by my absence at sports days, a civil "thank you" will cover her dinner preparations, but if I ever fail to deliver a full theatre critic's review, with total recall of every line spoken and every gesture made, after a youth theatre performance, my fate will be sealed and I might as well try to make my way to South America in a false beard.

Cory DD1 is the same...

WF, they are recent additions, hadn't used them for years, well worth it!

M&S food is fine.

But it cannot beat properly sourced, home cooked food!

You're simply not comparing apples with apples.