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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what you would say to people...

129 replies

whatacrappyweekendthatwas · 24/06/2013 20:42

If you could tell them exactly what you thought with no repercussions. Just speak your mind for a few minutes.

I have PMS btw and am in a bad mood. Yes this is pathetic I know. But better I say it here than in RL I guess.

PILS, I hate the way you treat my dds like second best to DSD because she is your 'real' GD. I hate the way you phone her on her birthday and not my dds, who notice and feel hurt. I hate the way you give her special presents and cards. This is one of the reasons you do not come on holiday with us in the summertime even though you invite yourself every year and we make excuses. That, and the fact that FIL is an alcoholic weirdo. PS FIL, your beard makes me ill and I hate when you kiss me and hug me when we haven't seen each other for a while.

Cousin who I see regularly - I think leaving your young baby dd to 'bawl for half an hour so she learns to self soothe' is cruel and horrible and much worse than giving my dcs sweets sometimes that you judge me for doing.

DH - you need to floss your teeth.

World - I will BF my DS for as long as we both want to so please stop asking.

That is all. If anyone else wants to join me in saying what they would like to say to people in their lives but can't please feel free.

OP posts:
BeeMom · 25/06/2013 15:35

In all honesty, I would say this

FadBook · 25/06/2013 16:04

DM - stop talking about your job and the contents of your job each time I speak to you. And when you ask a question, listen to the answer. If you did this you wouldn't feel like I don't tell you anything!

DSDad - stop working so hard. Money isn't every thing.

DSis - everyone is worried about you. We are all here for you. Don't cut us out.

MIL - you are worth so much more than what you're getting from your DP. He is ok but I really think you can do better. You are an amazing nanny to my dd and I think I love you more than my actual family sometimes.

DP - you are my world (but I think you know this!)

DD - I love you (but you know that too)

IneedAyoniNickname · 25/06/2013 16:10

I found this theraputic yesterday, so am back to add,

Grandma/J and K, I miss you all so much. Sometimes something happens that you would have laughed at so much and I wish I could pick up the phone and tell you. I still have your numbers saved because deleting them makes it all so final even though its been 3.5/7.4/3.2 years since you left us. I wish you could see your amazing great-grandsons/godsons growing up, and hope you'd be proud of them.

My 2 ds': you are my world. I would die for you. Iblive you more than anything, and am sorry I'm not better at what I do. You are both amazing and I will always always love you.

Babbadie · 25/06/2013 16:20

To the organiser of last night's work meal out: Don't be in a fucking sulk with me because I didn't go. I hate almost every single one of my colleagues and I'd rather have an evening on my sofa with my DP than with you bunch of cunts. And you and others need to stop saying that you missed me because I'm the 'life and soul of the party'. It's only because I'm the only one who isn't a completely boring cunt and refuses to talk about work. And I get a bit lot sweary. But I find it very emotionally draining always needing to be at dos because without me it seems no-one is capable of having a laugh.

To the administrator of our work place: You're a bitch. You talk to people like shit because you feel in some way superior. I absoultely hate coming and asking you for stuff even though its your job. It's even worse for my junior colleagues with less confidence and experience than me. Don't you get it that the really really senior people only out you on a pedestool and say how great you are and how the department couldn't run without you because that way they can get you to do more stuff for them. You're some kind of stupid fucking cunt if you can't see that. Also stop talking about going running and exercising all the time, you're fat no matter how much you wish you weren't.

fivefoottwowitheyesofblue · 25/06/2013 16:22

Friend - I think it is unreasonable to go abroad for a week without your DS. I know he has already been on holiday this year - but so have you! He is 10 - in a few years he won't want to be with you so make the most of it now.

SnookyPooky · 25/06/2013 16:23

DM I love you dearly but please shut the fuck up with your constant dramas, negativity and yammering.

FacebookWanker · 25/06/2013 16:46

Friend - we're not in a meeting at work, so please don't use corporate nonsense language with me, stop speaking to me as if I'm a naughty little child, and don't take it personally if I have a different opinion on something that is really trivial

...if only I could say this in RL...

FacebookWanker · 25/06/2013 16:50

...and neighbour upstairs. We hate your fucking shit music and don't wish to share it with you round the clock Angry

LaQueen · 25/06/2013 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FruminousBandersnatch · 25/06/2013 16:55

(I've actually said the first part of this several times but it has fallen on deaf ears).

Friend: That's great that the raw food diet has changed your life, but I'm perfectly happy with my diet and don't want to spend hours dehydrating raw potato because I don't have the time and also, I really don't believe they taste 'just like crisps'. And if you refer to my stomach as 'a graveyard for dead animals' once more I will slap you round the face with a T Bone steak.

perplexedpirate · 25/06/2013 18:33

Colleague; when I put a call though to you, take it. Don't start a discussion with me about it, take it.
Take the fucking call because a) it's your fucking job and b) I'm not your PA, I'm your superior as you seem to keep forgetting.
Also, one more scrappy, ineligible note left on my desk and I will blow, I really will. Angry

fancyanamechange · 25/06/2013 18:38

"I'm a feminist and there is no way I would give up my career to stay at home and look after children and your son"

Babbadie - if you were a feminist you would know feminism is about giving women choices. And one can be a feminist and a SAHM.

HTH Smile

cannotfuckingbelievethis · 25/06/2013 18:48

My brother's girlfriend - Pay my parents the money you owe them you lying bitch. I have never met anyone who talks as much shite as you in my entire life. And I could not give a flying fuck that you "unfriended" me on facebook. Your attempts at depicting a fairytale life with my alcoholic brother made me want to vomit into my porridge every morning. Next time he fucks up (and let's face it, we all know he will) don't call with tears and snotters down the phone. You knew what you were signing up for so shut up or fuck off.

(off to wash my mouth out with soap now...cunt jobbie bollocks...)

marriedinwhiteagain · 25/06/2013 19:00

mum: I'm sorry that nothing I have done has ever pleased you - I am who I am not who you want me to be. After being the only girl in the class with divorced parents, after dealing with your lovers as a teenager, after being told I am plain and ordinary and miserable and not what you expected all my life, does it ever occur to you that I should have ended up as a drop out or a druggie. I'm 53.

DH: Sometime, just sometimes it would be nice if you put me before work, I know how much you love me but sometimes I would like you to demonstrate it by what you do and not what you say.

MIL: You do realise don't you that if being head girl is your greatest achievement and if at 78 you are still talking about it your life has been incredibly sad.

justmuddlingalong · 25/06/2013 19:09

Dp I'm aware that you're looking ill and gaunt. I know you're next appointment with the cancer specialist is in August. Please bring the appointment forward. We're both worried but not admitting it to each other.

cfc · 25/06/2013 19:14

justmuddling admit it to him and bring it forward yourself.

Unmumsnetty hugs to you

justmuddlingalong · 25/06/2013 19:17

Thank you cfc, hugs gratefully accepted.

stubbornstains · 25/06/2013 19:18

Nearly all my friends and acquaintances: Please. If I text you or message you, please reply. It seems the norm nowadays to casually ignore messages, or say you're going to come to something and not turn up, or suggest we do something together and then act surprised and almost offended when I ask you if you're still up for doing x after a week.

That kills me. It fucking kills me. I know I have to act all casual and as if I don't really care in order not to seem all weird and needy and clingy, but when you let me down like that the pain is nearly physical, sometimes. I strongly suspect I have Aspergers, and I really need to know what the rules are, and that people are Just going to do what they say.

I love being with friends, and wish I had more, but I'm cutting more and more people out because I just can't cope with this behaviour, and am trying to convince myself that being lonely is OK, because it's less painful than the alternative.

CrapBag · 25/06/2013 19:51

stubborn I could have written that post!!!!!

It gets on my wick so much I actually want to cut people out because of it! Its sooooo beyond rude I think, especially when people know how much you would like them to reply to a message, then they still don't bother anyway. Clearly we are not important for 30 seconds of their precious time.

DS, I am so sorry I am failing you as a mother. All I do is tell you off because you seem to be playing up so much, you don't listen, you know it isn't acceptable, we have had talks, you know how to behave, I have told you that I don't like shouting at you and we try and work with rewards and stickers. I just don't know where I am going wrong, I really don't. At the moment I feel like I just don't want to be your mum anymore as there doesn't seem much point.

CrapBag · 25/06/2013 19:52

stubborn on a side note, why do you suspect aspergers? I have read some stuff and there are things that fit, especially a link that someone put on here once about adult females with it. The thought has crossed my mind more than once.

marriedinwhiteagain · 25/06/2013 20:13

stubborn and crap bag I utterly hate it when people do that. A very long time ago I stopped losing sleep about it. People who do that are rude and they aren't friends. There's nothing wrong with either of you except that you are decent and well mannered. I just ignore them if they do it - their loss x

stubbornstains · 25/06/2013 20:14

Well crapbag, again it was Mumsnet wot did it....a thread about Aspie females and their traits. There were links to this online quiz: www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.phpyou - I did it, and the results told me I was "most likely" Aspergers. It was a bit of a light bulb moment. It certainly explains a lot.

FWIW, quite often I feel I could write the second part of YOUR post!

GroupieGirl · 25/06/2013 20:23

Dear rota-writing-assistant-manager, I don't like you. You don't like me. Can we be grown-ups about it? I'd like to think that my being given one shift a week coincidentally on your only day off was nothing personal, but we both know better. Stop being a dick and share the shifts fairly. Also, stop talking about your hair. I couldn't give a flying fuck which weather system it represents, it needs cutting, washing and brushing.

cannotfuckingbelievethis · 25/06/2013 20:32

You, yes you blowing smoke in my fucking face outside starbucks, will you please sit down wind of me so I don't need to breathe that shit. I had 3 bean chilli for my dinner and it's not agreeing with me so you're going to be coughing even more in a minute.

CrapBag · 25/06/2013 20:37

I got a most likely aspie score as well. Reading the detailed bits after about what relates to what, compulsions etc, it does fit, some of it scarily so!

I have felt for a while that I am not quite like everyone else and I don't see things in quite the same way. I also find it stands out a lot when reading stuff on here. I often find that I am very much in the minority!