to ask what you would say to people...

[whatacrappyweekendthatwas]

If you could tell them exactly what you thought with no repercussions. Just speak your mind for a few minutes.

I have PMS btw and am in a bad mood. Yes this is pathetic I know. But better I say it here than in RL I guess.

PILS, I hate the way you treat my dds like second best to DSD because she is your 'real' GD. I hate the way you phone her on her birthday and not my dds, who notice and feel hurt. I hate the way you give her special presents and cards. This is one of the reasons you do not come on holiday with us in the summertime even though you invite yourself every year and we make excuses. That, and the fact that FIL is an alcoholic weirdo. PS FIL, your beard makes me ill and I hate when you kiss me and hug me when we haven't seen each other for a while.

Cousin who I see regularly - I think leaving your young baby dd to 'bawl for half an hour so she learns to self soothe' is cruel and horrible and much worse than giving my dcs sweets sometimes that you judge me for doing.

DH - you need to floss your teeth.

World - I will BF my DS for as long as we both want to so please stop asking.

That is all. If anyone else wants to join me in saying what they would like to say to people in their lives but can't please feel free.

[Babbadie]

Colleague 1: You're lazy. You've just been promoted and you are very very lucky for getting that because you have done very little to deserve it. I know for a fact that you take massive amounts of credit for other people's work and it this work that has got you a promotion. You try so hard to be 'alternative' and 'different' but you're actually just living the same old boring middle class life that you rally against. People like me who shop at Primark, don't eat organic food, are obsessed with cleaning, come from poor areas and families are not scum as you make out like they are. You make my skin scrawl.

Colleague 2: You're just a massivewly privileged posh cunt. You think the whole world revolves around you. If we start having a conversation about a wedding I went to over the weekend it's bad manners to cut in five minutes into the conversation to talk about your brother's wedding. No-one cares and it's not even what we were talking about. I know you're ever so slightly senior to me in my job but stop fucking telling me what to do and how I should plan my career. If I want to change jobs before my contract runs out I fucking will.

MIL: Stop being so prim-and-proper. The world will not end if I drop an 'f' bomb in your company. And stop assuming I'm like you. I'm not. I'm a feminist and there is no way I would give up my career to stay at home and look after children and your son. Don't look horrified when your son is the one getting washing out, making tea and coffee etc when you come to visit. He's old enough to know how to use these appliances so why shouldn't he just because he's the man? Also, I don't want children, I never have and I never will. Don't assume this is just a phase because I am a 28 year old woman and I know my own fucking mind. But thanks for actually being nice- reading MN has shown me that you could be much much much worse

DM: Stop fucking panicking about everything in life. And please stop smoking, I know you've been at it for nearly 50 years but it really upsets me when you keep constantly getting chest infections. I think about you dying everyday and I find it hard to cope with that.

DBIL: You're really thick and it pisses me off that you try and tell me stuff that I actually know because it's my job to know this stuff. Your entire life depresses me because you fucked up so bad. If you hadn't gone off the rails at university, you'd have a great job now and could afford the stuff you call us 'snobby' for having. Stop lashing out at other people because you're bitter about the way your life turned out. You have no-one to blame but yourself.

[Pennyacrossthehall]

Dad - you're my hero and I still use you as my measure of what is good behaviour in human beings.

Mum - you're the rock that has bound our family for nearly 50 years.

DB - in the face of your ex's miserable behaviour, you are a shining example of how to be a great father, even when you can't see your daughter every day, and have showed epic tolerance for the exSIL.

DSis - you're braver than most and setting out to live your life the way that you want. I'm sure that everything will work out, mainly because you made it so.

DP - thank you for being so tolerant of my foibles (by comparison to so many on here!) for so many years. I think that we rub along pretty well.

Ds1 - your choices are not the ones I wanted, but you have stuck to them and I'm very proud of you and the way that you are turning into an adult before my eyes.

Ds2 - still not sure what you are going to bloom into, but I love you deeply regardless.

Just thought that this thread needed some balance.

[Babbadie]

DMIL: Please stop emailing me pictures of your grandchildren. I have no interest in them at all. No, the video of your oldest grandkid acting like a massive spoilt little shit is not 'sweet'. I watched two four seconds of it and then deleted the email. I know I'm female but I have no interest in children whatsoever. I know you find this nearly impossible to comprehend but it's true.

[ilovexmastime]

DM the lack of love and comfort that I received while growing up has had a direct effect on our relationship today. I try to go along with your 'we're great friends' act but all I can think about is how you told me that you never cuddled me when I was little because I never wanted cuddles. Really? Well maybe if you hadn't used hitting, sorry 'smacking' , with a wooden spoon or a slipper as a punishment and then laughed at me when I cried, then maybe I might have come to you for cuddles. Ever think about that?
Also, well done for turning it round so that, yet again, it was MY fault.

And breathe...

[PeachActiviaMinge]

DS - I love you, I love you so much. I'm so afraid of losing you I truly don't deserve you. I cry every damn night because I am so afraid of how much I love you.


MIL - No you will not be looking after DS anytime soon, you tell us constantly how unstable on your feet you are and you smoke nasty knock off fags that stink your house out. I know you think I'm awful for not letting you smoke in our home and wash your hands before touching the baby but I will protect him with my life and couldn't care less if it offends you.

Also living on benefits isn't easy you have seen me unable to afford shoes for DD for school and yet you have decided Fil can give up work to live on benefits don't expect us to support your stupid decsion we just can't.


Mum - your only grandson is eight weeks old I don't care about how much we hurt each other please come meet him and see your granddaughter for the first time in three years. I wish you knew how much it hurts me everyday to not have a mum.


Dad - you're not really ever going to be a part of my life are you? six years with no contact I had you in my life for five years but you never cared really. I love you anyway I wish I could change you but I don't know how to fix us. I'm sorry.

world - I am so afraid and alone please don't judge the way I am, I'd love to be normal.

Op thanks for this it helps to say how much it hurts even if I'm shaking and crying now.

[ilovexmastime]

Also DM, please stop being so bloody negative about everything, I find it extremely draining listening to you whinge, don't you think I get enough of it from the kids?

And... please, please, please, learn to listen and stop taking everything so personally.

[FasterStronger]

DB - why are you such a fucking coward? why do you never visit your mother? she is on her own you wanker. you are not the first person in the world to have a child. DM did everything for you & you take her for granted. you are weak & we both know it.

[flipchart]

Ds1 I love you and everything and I'm glad you like chatting to me but cn you just shut up for a while please! DS is 16 and hasn't stopped talking nice he learned how to. DS 2 is the same but fortunately he is at school so my ears are getting a bit of a rest!

[ArtemisatBrauron]

This is such a difficult thread. So much pain and anger and sadness.


DM - Thanks for being the role model my sisters and I needed. We all know that we deserve to be treated well, that we can achieve anything we want if we work hard and that we are just as valuable as men in life and in the workplace.

DSF - Thanks for being there, caring and bringing me up. Thanks for never making a difference between me and your own 3 children with my mum. You are my dad, no matter what biology we don't share.

"D"F - you are a weak man. You walked away when I needed you and crawled back when it was easy for you. You have never stood up for me. I can't believe after everything you did, you are sulking with me because you didn't get to give me away at my wedding - you hadn't seen me in nearly 5 years by that stage. You need a reality check.

DH - Thank you for loving me, for being my partner in life and for making every day so much fun.

[LadyRabbit]

DS- please let this year be the year you finally start a diet, stay on it and lose the 5 or 6 stone you really need to. You are morbidly obese. You have been on ADs for the last 15 years because of this; the bullying, the broken relationships; but more seriously the health complications. You are only 26, beautiful, super smart, kinder than anyone I know and I love you so much for the way you love my DS. But you are killing yourself with your chronic overeating and refusal to do something about it. Everyone loves you, everyone can see how your potential is being hindered, everyone is worried for you. Enough bullshit, get your shit together because only you can and let your life truly begin.

[sherbetpips]

Boss - after 13 years I was off sick for a week and a half having been put under horrendous stress by you. Get over it, the client was fine, the business is fine - stop referring to it for christs sake and let's move on.

BF - get out of your damn house and stop letting your husband walk all over you - go out, have fun, you might not hate the kids so much if you were not permanently with them.

BIL - stop bulling my sister and thinking you are king of the world, you are not, you are obnoxious, rude and overbearing and unbelievably dull.

DSis - please stop cutting your hair off, you are beautiful and it makes you look like a bloke

SIL - stop freaking out every time MIL is rude, she is rude, she isnt going to change, stop being so bloody sensitive. There are way worse in-laws out there.

BIL - stop trying to get hold of MIL's money. Your DF was very specific on his deathbed that you must not be allowed to touch it. Leave it be so I never have to tell you that. Her money and her care in old age are covered, you are not the only one capable of ensuring this. And no we do not want to put it into 'Trust' whatever the hell that is. It is not a future inheritence, it is money to look after her.

DH - you are wonderful, stop putting up with the shitty job and get some pride in yourself. go out there and show them how good you are.

All friends and family who live overseas - stop telling us how much better everything is and how shit England is. This includes people who have moved from north to southern england - we see the weather every morning, its just as crap there.

Wow quite cathartic!

[farewellfigure]

Dsis please stop drinking. We are all too terrified of your reaction to bring it up with you but all your family are scared half to death at what you are doing to yourself. Drinking at 3pm on your own is not normal no matter what sort of day you have had... especially when it is every single day.

DD I wish you were still here to see what a beautiful grandson DS is. You only knew him for 3 months, and every day I wish you were still around to guide him and love him like you did me. You were the kindest, gentlest and fairest man I have ever known and I hope just a little of you is in my DS. You would have been so proud of him.

[towerofjelly]

DM - telling me that you didn't like me at my brothers funeral was cruel, and then acting as if nothing has changed and act bewildered that I don't want to spend anytime with you is not going to erase what you said. You stopped liking me and my sister when we became teenagers, and you will do the same to my DDs and that's why you will always be kept at arms length and miss so much of being part of our family.

[FobblyWoof]

To friend I'm about to cut out of my life

When I cut you out I won't be explaining why. You won't get it because you never listen to other people and it would be a waste of my breath that you'll turn around on me, so I'm writing it here.

You are the most self centred person I have ever met and you contradict yourself constantly. One minute your life is shit and obviously way worse than anyone else's. Yes, you went through some stuff as a teen and yes it wasn't nice but you can't use that as a reason you're unhappy now. We all have our demons, some of us just aren't as vocal about them. You are the only person that bad things have happened to. Similarly, I'm sure you do have depression but have you ever considered that you're not the only person in the entire world who has it and that perhaps your friends also suffer with it?

The next minute your life is so fantastic. I get that you say how great it is to make yourself feel better about your life, and good for you for trying to be positive, but does that have to happen at the expense of over people? Myself the most. In order to make yourself feel better about your own life you constantly belittle mine. I fucking love being a parent. I get that might not be the way you want to go with your life (though I suspect it is) but you don't have to put me down and make snide remarks about being a parent. Similarly, I love my relationship. I'm sorry yours didn't work out (though I'm beginning to realise why) but that does mean I'm jealous of going out and getting pissed. If that's how you want to live then great, but I love being with DP and spending time with him curled up on the sofa. I'm not inferior, or "not cool" for thinking so.

Also, yes I have less money than you. Earth to I rent a house, have a DP and a DD and you have no one to spend your money on but yourself. Of course you have more money. And no, the whole world does not want beats headphones and people are not envious you have some, we actually think you're a bit of a tool.

And finally, just because you have had a petty argument with my best friend does not mean that I involved myself. In fact I stayed out. One, because it's none of my business and two, because we're not all thirteen. I was pretty surprised when you didn't congratulate said friend on her engagement and I'm even more surprised, annoyed etc that you couldn't even drum up a Facebook like when I announced my second pregnancy! It showed me that you aren't a friend at all and although pretty hurt by your actions (or lack of) I am pleased that I can finally cut you out of my life guilt free. I had the opportunity to last year but you manipulated me. You're not doing that again. So have a life nice life. You probably will but you're too bitter, wrapped up in your own little issues and too much of hypochondriac that you probably won't realise if it is any good.

[FasterStronger]

SIL - I know you will be disappointed when DP & I have children. i know you hope i am infertile - DB let something slip. I am not. you are not a nice person. I avoid you as much as possible and I put on the best show I can when avoidance is not possible. I only do it to make it easier for my family.

here is the thing: I know you: when it was your hen party, I kept asking the other guests how they knew you and most of them said 'i don't know {SIL}, I am {another guests friend}. where were your friends?

[FobblyWoof]

And because that felt so good;

BIL: hopefully STBXBIL. The way you have treated my sister this year has been awful. She's not been perfect, not by a long way but how can you not see that you and your actions are driving her to the brink.

You've never been there for her during your marriage you've been a shit father to your kids. Especially when you were in contact with the OW. Then they'd just have their dad ignoring them until they did something wrong (usually only slight because your kids, thanks to my sister, are fucking saints) then you'd discipline them by being shouts and borderline agressive. Medal for you.

You call my sister controlling but I would call it demanding. And she's only demanding because you did sweet FA. Perhaps she wouldn't have to be on at you to do the housework, look after the kids, walk the dog, do anything other than sit on your arse when you're not at work if, guess what, you actually did some of those things in the first place. She works too, you shit, and even if she didn't housework wouldn't just be her job. Perhaps if your realised that (though your brain is probably far too small) then she wouldn't have to nag you and be controlling in order for her to have her own life outside of running around after you. It's really not difficult.

And texting someone else? Classy move. Since you moved out she's done everything to be be accommodating to you and you just take the piss. All the time and it's not on. You're a selfish sack of shit and I'd be more than happy to say all of this to you and more but we both know damn well that if I suggesting meeting up to talk about a few things (for my sisters benefit) you wouldn't do it because you know very well I'd be more than happy to call you on your shit and I wouldn't fall for the "boo hoo, I'm not good enough for her" crap that you keep trotting out everytime you feel backed into a corner.

I think I may have had a scrap of respect (or at least lack of contempt) for you if you'd actually stood up and said "no, I don't want to be with you" and stuck to your guns. But you haven't. You're constantly hedging your bets and treating my sister like crap and honestly? It makes me want to kill you in your sleep. I'd say I hope you have a nice life like I wished on my shitty friend, but I don't. I hope your life sucks.

[Madamecastafiore]

Horrid lady bullying me at work. You are bitter and jealous and maybe should have worked harder or married someone with more potential. Oh and you may have an incredibly flat tummy but you have no breasts and horrid chunky legs so stop going on about your body and food intake all the bloody time.

Df you are a vile human being and I hope you die a very long drawn out painful death. Maybe trapped somewhere by your legs with the rude coming in in excruciating agony. The only thing that could make this scenario nicer is if step monster was trapped next to you.

[Madamecastafiore]

Oh and DH I am pregnant but still can do stuff. But I love you more than you will ever realise. You are the kindest, cleverest, funniest, sexiest, handsomest, most generous man I have ever met. You are also a fantastic father to boot. You would not have ended up in a ditch if it were not for me either, you were just so sad that you did not realise how great you are but you would have been loved even if I had not burst into your life.

[Madamecastafiore]

Dd brush your bloody hair.

Dd and DS use the bloody toothbrushes and toothpaste. Just waving the brush under the tap does not convince me you have brushed your teeth, especially when your breath smells like a camels arse!!

God this is therapeutic.

[mumof2teenboys]

Ex-h

Stop teling people that you were excluded from James' funeral. We all know that you weren't (but I wanted to exclude you so badly) you were a shit father and a shit husband. You didn't deserve to be in either of the boys lives. How dare you run around telling anyone stupid enough to listen to you how your bitch of an ex-w refused to let you know any of the details and refused to let you be there. You were on your piece of shit motorbike directly behind the car we travelled in. That would be the piece of shit motorbike your entire family begged you not to ride that day.

As for us refusing to take money from you for the funeral, don't make me laugh. You haven't paid a penny for the boys in 16 years, why would you have made any effort to help pay for his funeral?

You are a lying, bullying piece of crap who doesn't deserve to call the boys 'yours' They are my sons and their stepdad is more of a father than you could ever dream of being.

I needed that

[maternitart]

Woman at work: no-one cares about your diet or exercise regime that you talk about incessantly. Shut up and get some self awareness.

Parents: when you tell me you can't visit because you are looking after my DN all summer holiday, it hurts and I feel sad for my baby. I know it's unreasonable but I feel resentful.

Friend: you probably haven't noticed I'm phasing you out but I am. I'm tired of you letting me down and being a generally self-obsessed, inflexible person. I know you want kids and I hope you have them - maybe you'll realise it's not all about you then.

Producer of The Voice: you ruined it with your crappy sob story shite and endless recaps. Stick to the singing bits and tell Holly to put them away.

[redexpat]

Classmates: cheer. the fuck. up. Quit whining. Do you know how lucky you all are to get an education for free? And a student grant?

DH. Wear a fucking watch. And if you want to lose weight stop shovelling food into your trap and do some exercise.