AIBU to think Nigella has no right to feel frustrated?

[GiveMumABreak]

'Nigella feels frustrated that the whole world has an opinion about something she feels is a private situation.'

'Nigella feels her hand has been forced.'

'Nigella told friends she wants to rebuild her troubled relationship with millionaire art collector Mr Saatchi and insisted: 'I am not some sort of battered wife.'

AIBU to think: She is a celebrity chef (and role model)who had her photo taken in a public place. We are shocked and concerned - not just nosey, or should the whole world just mind their own business (as she would clearly prefer)?

article here

[IrisScentedCandle]

eh doh squeaky, if the statements to her friends are true that she wants to go back to him then yes she has normalised the abuse.

You are wrong and quite odd to say that the photographs don't prove she was being abused. At the very least, she was being abused there and then, for 27 minutes, and it wasn't the first time, there is other photographic evidence.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Her business, nobody elses. Why are some people so nosey? Don't they have things going on in their own lives to pay attention to? Nobody deserves intrusion into their personal lives, no matter who they are and anybody that feels they have a right to that information is deluded.

[squeakytoy]

"a public personality in a public restaurant, I don't think privacy can be expected"

so would it be ok for a random photographer to take a photo of you whilst you went out during the day, and put it on a website? and then for the general public to decide they know more about your private life than you do?

she is famous for being a chef, and was eating a meal privately at a restaurant.. the media have no moral right to take photos, celebrity or not

[GiveMumABreak]

purple I think you've said it well, it's just not that simple.

I'm sure we'd love to see an immediate and positive decision, showing us that she just won't stand for it!....but it's not that simple in any relationship (whether the lenses are trained on you or not)

[IrisScentedCandle]

Follyfoot, although she probably does feel more humiliated than she's every felt right now, that might galvanise her to leave. If this hadn't happened then I guess she would have just put up with the bad, taken the "rough" with the smooth as they say.

That's typical of somebody who's been abused though, to care less about actually being happy than appearing to be happy.

Have thrashed all this out with my psychotherapist. It was humiliation that finally forced my hand, so I hope that some good comes out of her humiliation.

[IrisScentedCandle]

Squeaky, best brushed under the carpet yeh? it'd be better if nobody knew how bad it had got for her.

[squeakytoy]

Iris, do you not perhaps think that you may be projecting your own bad experience here?

[Pagwatch]

We?

'we' don't want to see her do anything.

[RetroRita]

We are shocked and concerned

Who are you to be concerned? Are you family? A close friend?

I would suggest you mind your own business and get a life instead of worrying about someone that doesn't even know you exist

[WorraLiberty]

YABU

She's entitled to feel however she wants to feel.

I'm not surprised she feels her hand has been forced over this. She's no doubt excruciatingly embarrassed about the whole thing being plastered across the media, simply because of the job she happens to do.

[IrisScentedCandle]

no squeaky I do not. I wonder what is going on with you though, that you can look at photos that clearly show a man abusing his wife, (and it is not the first set of photographs in a public place that show this) and deduce that the photographs prove nothing. I wonder what on earth could make you think that.

[GiveMumABreak]

How awful for you folly I'm sure terribly upsetting!

But a celebrity might expect a certain degree of public interest (especially considering shed been papped at that restaurant frequently)

[WorraLiberty]

Iris there's a big difference in brushing something under the carpet, and having it forcibly out there in the press for all the guillotine knitters to bump their gums over.

[IrisScentedCandle]

Squeaky your attitude explains why women fear they won't be believed. That you can look at these photos and say that they prove nothing beggars belief frankly. Who are you? CS's sister?

[Nanny0gg]

But she's now papped everywhere.
I can understand how she's feeling that whatever she does is under scrutiny. She needs to come to a rational and safe decision without the rest of the world weighing in with their two-pennorth.

And 'she's a role model'? Is she? Why?

[IrisScentedCandle]

It's better for her that it's out worraliberty. Would it be better that nothing happened to challenge her thinking? let another year slide by.

On other threads about this (whether photos better publicised or kept private) plenty of posters were saying that once people knew that was the moment that their thinking shifted. That they were reminded of how other people viewed it (most other people anyway)

[Pagwatch]

Good grief

There are some seriously sad people who clearly get their jollies over other peoples private lives.

[squeakytoy]

Because Iris, a photo like this proves nothing.

There is nothing going on with me, mainly because I dont have an agenda that would prevent me from thinking that there are often completely different realities to what may be a very misleading photograph.

I was out on my own last night with a friend. I stood at the door having a cigarette with a male friend at one point. I sat at the bar with a group of friends, but at one point the male friend leant over to whisper something to me, and as myself and female friend were leaving, the male friend gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

A series of carefully selected photographs taken during the evening could easily have implied that I was out alone with this man, and even sat cuddled up to him having an affair.

The reality was far from that. But if I was a celebrity, there are many publications that would pay a photographer good money to start a story using a random selection of those photos.

Do you see what I mean?

[RetroRita]

There is nothing that some people won't take joy in is there?

Anything for a bit of gossip - screw the feelings of the people involved if it can be vaguely proved its in the public interest.

Some people have no hearts.

Leave the woman alone fgs. Its herlife. Not yours.

[Jinsei]

Personally, I feel that Nigella has a right to feel however the hell she feels. And that none of us can say what that is right now, and so we should butt right out.

[Follyfoot]

*we'd love to see an immediate and positive decision, showing us that she just won't stand for it!"

Would we? She doesnt have to show me anything, its a real person's life we are talking about, not a TV show.

Oh and what Worra said about guillotine knitters.

[Pagwatch]

The photos came out. People reacted.
So far, so understandable.

The guillotine knitters just want to squeeze every moment of intrigue and peculiar ion and judgement out of the situation, treating a real persons life as if it were a bad Eastenders storyline.

Worra is spot on.

[IrisScentedCandle]

Squeaky, you are one seriously strange person if you think that those photos prove nothing.

over and out now.

[CoalDustWoman]

Leave her alone. You sound oddly expectant that she she should react in a certain way. Or just odd.

Have you taken a moment to put yourself in her shoes? To think about how much of a head fuck this must be for her? To realise that your expectations are irrelevant? Can you even begin to imagine what her life is like at the moment?

[squeakytoy]

I am not the strange one here Iris...