To not want a career? (Serious)

[MustWakeUp]

Hi all,

I know it's not a very pc thing to say these days and my parents who are oxbridge educated high achievers are baffled by my 'low ambitions' (anything that isn't law/med/finance = low ambitions and future of mediocrity to them). I understand that this isn't the opinion of most women, but this is just how I feel.

I've never had this burning ambition to be a career woman - I finished my A levels last summer and got 4 A*'s in maths, further maths, physics & art so it's not that I'm not academic. I loved school and I love learning but I just don't want a career. When we had careers advisors come into our school from about yr 9-yr 13 they would tell me about all the different things I could work as for e.g. accountant, actuary, physicist, economist and so on, but the problem was they all just sounded dead boring. I have shadowed plenty of my parents friends in all sorts of science-y and numerate jobs and I honestly don't know how they do it. It is just not suited to me at all.

My parents are only concerned with £££ and prestige. I'm a good painter & I write poetry and I've sold a few of my paintings and had some of my poems published and now my parents (mum especially) are pushing me to do more & more & more, they are turning something I enjoy and find relaxing into a money generating passionless thing.

What I would love to do with my life more than anything is travel the world doing odd jobs the way I'm doing now and then settle down at 25ish & have my own family & be a SAHM but still continue with my painting and poetry.

Since finishing my A-levels I've been doing that (sort of) - I temp for a 2-3 months and sell a few paintings, then I travel for as long as my money will last, when I run out of cash I come back for another 2-3 months and temp and paint again...I have seen the most beautiful sights and met the most fascinating and oddest people during this last year and I love my life the way it is now....I am free to go where I please and do what I want, I have no one to answer to at all! I wake up everyday feeling so happy and chill. But the trouble is my parents see me as squandering my 'potential' and have now recruited my aunts, uncles, ex-form tutors even my preacher!!!! to talk some 'sense' into me and to tell me that I need to apply for university and stop living 'like a dirty hippie' and I'm beginning to have doubts myself.....(not about uni, would love to be in higher education someday - but university will always be there!)

so tell me MN, is it BU for some people to just not be interested in the rat race and the corporate world and careers in general? I mean surely, some people just want different things?

Future WAG. I can see why your parents are disappointed in you.

Oh yes, "my DH earns..." (apart from when that is the question!)
"my DH thinks..."
"my DH ..."

My DH went to a Russell Group University, I found out the other day.

I'm going to start dropping it into conversation like a prick.

Agree with Rosie. There are no 'shit' Austen novels. How very dare you.

If we're talking about things up thread which have annoyed us, can I object to the assertion that other poets/painters won't respect the OP?

If she is talented then no one will give a shit that she produces her work while she's at home with her dc.

You can't produce proper, sustained work without child care. Otherwise it's just pottering and hobbies.

The person who made that assumption is a writer btw. And speaking as a freelance journalist I totally agree.

assertion not assumption.

I was pushed by my parents and became a Dr. I lasted 2 years and now foster, which is basically a professional SAHM. I would live to go to art college, but it's not likely. Although I didn't pursue a medical career, I'm glad I did the training and I think it helps me in everyday life. It also gives me options outside medicine as there are so many skills involved. I think it's fine not to want to devote your life to work, but it's still worth getting good qualifications as it makes you a more rounded person

Makes you think doesn't it, troll or not makes you think.

karma it was me that made that assertion.

And I am a professional writer. And like all the professional writers I know, I take it hugely seriously. I work very hard at my craft. It's not a hobby.

Every single atrist I know is like this!!!!!

The OP is not for one second talking about take her art seriously. She is talking about travelling and dotting around and having babies. At no point has she said she wants to spend any meaningful time on her craft.

Dog

Fair play. Myself: I cannot be doing with Mansfield Park on account of that nimby-wimby namby-pamby Fanny, but I concede your general point!

But word, what is wrong with it being her hobby? If she doesn't have any talent then it won't matter if she writes all day, everyday, as that won't make talented writers respect her. She will be judged on the end result.

She is managing to sell her paintings, which suggests some talent.

You seem to have your life so mapped out but unfortunately (or fortunately) OP life is full of surprises. Why not keep your options open? I also don't really think you should look down at people who work in the real world. You may feel differently if you didn't have someone to pay the bills.

karma I don't think she will just be judged on the end result.

Artists also judge one another on craft and commitment. Talent is a minuscule part of it. And we don't tend to feel much affiliation with hobbyists. We don't respect one another on our successes, being well aware that that is out of our control and to do with markets etc We respect one another for our dedication to our craft.

But not wrong for it to be a hobby. Not wrong at all.

But doesn't make her an artist or a poet!!!

I would think of anyone who produces work that other people consider to be good (and would pay money for), as an artist/poet. It wouldn't make any difference to me whether they worked hard/long hours or whether they did it as a hobby. I wouldn't think of the OP as a full time artist, but she is an artist nonetheless.

I can't quite get my head around the idea that being talented/successful at something isn't quite good enough to deserve the title of artist, because she hasn't struggled or worked especially hard. But then, I am not an artist, so if you say that others in your field wouldn't respect her, then no doubt you are right.

In her shoes, I don't think that would bother me too much, if everything else in my life was as I would want it to be.

I hope you can follow your dreams, but you also need money to live.

good education means you'll have choices.
think it through -it is much easier to get a degree etc before you have a family.

hth

I do also think that if she doesn't hone her craft then her success will be limited - that may affect what she chooses to do, career wise, later on.

OP you sound very young and naive. Making your way temping and selling paintings from the comfort of mummy and daddy's home with all your stuff kept there? Not exactly 'right on' is it? Find someway to self support completely then tell me money doesn't matter.

karma someone might sell some cup cakes at a village fete, but it doesn't make them a great baker, does it?

I wrote my first book for fun. It sold. Loads.

It didn't make me a great writer...

Sounds like the perfect life - good luck finding a man at 25 who wants to settle down, have dc and is able to support you financially whilst you stay at home being artistic. You're a better woman than me if you manage this!!

Sounds like the perfect life

Only if you're happy being dependent on someone else. I'd really struggle with this actually.

perfect life,funded by prosperous dh?being financially dependent isn't perfect