Playground etiquette, who was rude her or me?

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful]

Not really sure who was being unreasonable here.

Took dd to the park today (dd is 2.4 park was very busy). One of the swings became available, the one on the end of the row, so I put dd in it and started to push her.

After about 5 minutes a woman and her daughter (would guess 4 year old) came and stood right next to me. Woman started talking to her dd "you can have a go on the swing soon" "this little girl will be finished soon" "it looks like you might have to wait awhile."

Dd did not want to leave the swing so I kept pushing her for another 5 minutes. Eventually the hinting got to me and we abandoned the swing.

So was she being unreasonable or was I taking too long on the swing and should have shifted sooner?

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful]

How is it ok for someone to stand so close to you you are elbow to elbow. I'll admit I have a few issues with personal space, the no 1 way to get my back up is getting too close to me.

I believe all of you when you say you would talk to your dc in the same way but I can't believe any of you would walk straight into a park and plonk yourself on top of someone.

If she had been a meter away I would have been off within a minute. Why would anyone stand that close, it's clearly going to piss people off.

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful]

I have a lot of experience of being ignored by small children. This girl was playing her own game and not remotely interested in what her mum was saying.

[IsItMeOr]

OP - I get that you have personal space issues. But you have taken your adult issue and penalised a 4 year old child. Can you not see how that makes you the worse person here?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

It's exactly what I would have to keep saying to DD as she has huge problems waiting and woud kick off otherwise.

Sympathies, saintly.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

DD wouldn't pay me attention either, being autistic

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Not saying the girl had ASD of course, it's just a carbon copy of how DD and I are, hope people in playgrounds don't assume I am a rude cow

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful]

I'm not saying this makes me look good at all. Had the four year old been doing anything other than playing happily I would have shifted off the swing a lot quicker.

Four year old was not even remotely arsed.

[bigbuttons]

If there's a queue and the park is busy you should limit your dc's time on the swings, it's only polite, so YABU.

[LEMisdisappointed]

And this is important in the grand scheme of things because?

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful]

fanjo unless you talk to your daughter while virtually stood on top of a random stranger I'm sure no one in the playground thinks you are rude at all.

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful]

lem it's beyond petty

[Fakebook]

I think you were being rude. 5 mins would have been enough, but I bet your 10 mins felt like 20 mins to her.

If your child is refusing to come off, you start tempting them with the other "cool" rides like the "weeeee slide"! Or the "seaside sand pit, yaaaayyy"! Then when they get excited you whip them off the swing. You don't pander to a 2.5 year old. They should learn to share.

[VixZenFenchell]

If this had been me I'd have turned to her, asked her to back off as I felt uncomfortable with her bad breath in my face and stayed at least an extra 10 minutes. I'd also have asked her who she was talking to as her DD was clearly not interested in what she was saying and I wasn't either.

Am obviously clearly VU but I don't think you were in the slightest, I think she was appallingly PA and rude. I detest hinters (yes MiL, so does your son).

With the panto scenario - I've had to ask my son if he could see after people have moved to sit in front of him. I don't state whisper it though, I ask in a normal voice - if he can't then I swap places or sit him on a cushion (folded up coat). If he can then fine, but I do need to ask to find out!

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful]

Fake book, she did only wait 5 mins. We were on the swing for 5 mins and then she and her daughter came into the park. I swung her for another 5 mins then we left the swing.

Yes yes I do know about not pandering to a 2 year old and distraction technique. I'm not that crap as a patent, just remarkably petty for someone in her thirties

[Blessyou]

YABU 10 minutes in he swing on a busy day with someone waiting is too long, IMO.

[MoonlightandRoses]

YANBU. She was rude to stand too close and to home in on you in the way she did. Polite would have been asking after five minutes if your DD would be okay with letting her child have a turn.

You would only have been rude had you said no.

[Lavenderloves]

She was trying to tell you you were taking too long.

Pa or not ten mins is too long in a busy park.

[MoonlightandRoses]

Oops - just seen she only had to wait five minutes anyway - yes, v.v. Rude on her part and she is lucky it was you not me she met!

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful]

she was trying to tell you you were taking too long

Clearly this woman was a gifted psychic. She had only just arrived at the park when she plonked herself on top of me and started commenting.

[BridgetBidet]

God I can't believe people saying that they tell other children to get off the swings because they have to 'share'. That's not sharing, that's wanting something for your own child at the expense of another.

If my son wants to play on something at the park and someone else is on it then he has to choose something else to play on or wait. There's nothing wrong with a bit of patience and I don't think teaching them that you can intimidate people into giving you something that you want is a good lesson. Or that people should instantly jump out of your way to let you do what you want immediately.

[VixZenFenchell]

If she wanted to tell you that you were taking too long she should have looked at you, addressed you directly and asked you if her child could have a turn. Not talked at you via her DD. Boils my bladder when people try to talk to me by talking to my children in a loud "I know mummy can hear this" voice.

[toomanyfionas]

I think you were mean. Playground equipment is for sharing. Your dd had a really long turn and you were making the other child wait just to spite the mother.

Little children have no concept of time, but they are finely attuned to being heard or ignored. You deliberately ignored the other chld's request and at the same time taught your dd that her needs trump others. Carry on like this and you will set her up to be a bully.