daughter given choc cake at scool, she is allergic to cows' milk.

[MyNameIsRio]

That. They all know. Had their new teacher (who they will be having next year) for Fri afternoon and she was given birthday cake. Her own teacher has a stack of her own snacks. Now do I write to new teacher and headteacher?

[MrsLouisTheroux]

chocolate buttons on the cake even.

[tiptapkeyboard]

This thread is terrible. Shocked at the advice given by TSC!

It could be that because it was cooked and a tiny amount the reaction was just mild. Allergies are funny things and can depend sometimes on what form the food is in. Cooking can denature some proteins that cause the problems.

Yes speak to them and remind them.

Your DD could carry a card with her in her bag stating she allergic to X if she shy speaking.

[LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning]

I think people are getting a bit confused, the op doesn't need you to believe she has an allergy.

Op thank god it wasn't worse. Has she has reactions to cooked dairy before? When dd was being tested they said sometimes reactions can be different when cooked.

I think you do need to go. The truth is the process has failed, they and you are lucky it was such a mild reaction but next time might not be so lucky.

[MyNameIsRio]

MrsLouis - she probably ate ate it because she was given it. Perhaps it looked delicious. She has her "own" versions of cake - also given to her at school as I give them absolutely loads.

Thank you for so many helpful replies. I have looked on the allergy board now and am so pleased to have found it.

OhForDUCKS - I have tried to pm you but I don't know if it has worked.

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello there

Thanks for the reports about this thread. Please remember our Talk Guidelines. We don't think it's on that people should be accused of being hysterical because they're worried about their child's health.

Ta.

[Pancakeflipper]

MrsLouisT - my 4 yr old is brilliant at telling people he is dairy-free. But it's bloody confusing for me neither mind him. Unless you have the packaging it is impossible to know if dairy is in.

For example some Jaffa cakes don't have dairy in. Some do. Same with jammie dodgers, same with jam tarts, same with those individual apple and blackberry pies, same with crisps, same with bread, same with oven chips, same with ham, same with sausages, same with chicken, etc etc..... Some do and some don't.

I make dairy-free chocolate brownies and chocolate cake for my DS2 so I have to explain our version is ok but any other wont be. For a 4 yr old it is not an easy concept.

[valiumredhead]

This thread just shows the ignorance surrounding allergies.

OP I would put it in writing, at 4 it is 100% the adult's responsibility to ensure allergic children aren't given food that will make them ill.

As they get older they learn to remind people they are allergic,4 is too young to be responsible enough. I still have to remind my ds now and again and he's 12 although friends assure me he is very good at checking when he's away from home.

One thing that ds's primary school did was have a pic of children with allergies on the wall so any one new coming into the class room could instantly check before giving out food.

[chillinwithmyyonis]

I've not read the whole read, but I can predict many of the responses. My dd has started reception this year, she hasn't any allergies thankfully, but the amount of non-lunchbox food she's had exposure to is frankly ridiculous. Every time its someones birthday, christmas, easter, a teacher is leaving, a teachers birthday, baking lessons, playtime cake sales.

If not for all that crap, which it is as its just junk food, it'd be easy to manage a child's allergies as you'd only have to worry about a fruit snack in the morning and their lunchbox and making sure they don't eat anyone elses food.

It was not like that when I was at school, and I'm only 28, this is a stupid recent tradition.

The reason it worrys me is that my ds is only 2 and is allergic to peanuts and dairy for which he requires an epipen. God know what we'll do when it comes to him starting school. I may have his allergies tatooed on his forehead.

[Sirzy]

I'm nearly 30 and we has sweets for people's birthdays, cakes made in school, things from teachers at holidays etc. so it isn't a new thing.

My sister has a nut allergy and is triggered by them in the environment so the school had a no nuts policy, my parents also provided a bag of "safe" snacks for her. Thankfully she only had one reaction in school (which happened when someone flouted the "no nuts please" rule)

[insancerre]

I would be hard pushed to remember the allergies of each child. Also, at 4, I guess your DD knows she can't eat cake? So why did she?

So now it's the child's fault?
As for remembering the allergies of each child, when it's your job to look after them day after day, you do remember them.

[valiumredhead]

Oh yes because 4 year old are well known for doing as they are told

At 4a child trusts an adult knows what they are doing, it's not until later when they are older they know to question it.

[Scholes34]

Not a complaint to the Head, but a polite reminder.

[valiumredhead]

I wouldn't complain, but I would put out in writing so of it ever happens again you have something to refer to. I would see the teacher and the head and adopt the tone of 'I know it was a mistake and you wouldn't do anything to hurt dd on purpose but we must make sure this doesn't happen again etc etc.'

[valiumredhead]

In not out

[greenbananas]

Rio, so glad your daughter is okay.

Wading in late here, but want to say you are absolutely not being hysterical. So sad that so many people are just saying there was no harm done.

Of course the teacher made an honest mistake. .. nobody would do a thing like this on purpose! Going against the grain, but I would put a complaint in writing, possibly to the governors, asking for the school procedures to be reviewed. An "honest mistake" like this could have resulted in a very serious reaction and could possibly even kill a child.

I agree with those who are saying that young children are capable of telling people that they have allergies. My own 4 year old has severe multiple allergies and I am confident that he would not eat anything which had not been okayed by me or his dad. However, it is simply not on to expect a smallchild to take this level of responsibility. The teacher should have been made aware of your daughter's allergy.

Seriously, I would complain to the school in writing. The procedures failed, and that is a problem they should be addressing. By making a calm and well-managed fuss about this, you could prevent your daughter having a more serious reaction another time, and you might even save the life of a child in the future

And do come over to the allergy board .

[greenbananas]

(When I say complain in writing, what I really mean is that you should maybe make an appointment to see theheadteacher and go with a letter in your hand, so that you can smile and explain that you want to supportthe school in doing everything they can to keep your daughter and all other children with allergies and other special needs safe while they are in school. Obviously you should be as helpful as possible - any school worthy of their funding will bend over backwards to reassure you that this will never happen again. )

[BalloonSlayer]

The teacher probably genuinely just didn't think and feels awful.

In that case the teacher should have spoken to the OP and told her what had happened and apologised profusely. It appears to have been left to the TA.

[ThatsNotMyDinosaur]

OP you need to speak to the school.
This time they slipped up and gave her some cake with baked in milk, probably she only consumed a small amount of milk and why she has an upset stomach and nothing much else. A lucky escape, the new teacher could have given her some chocolate and you might have spent the rest of the day in A&E.

Next time if they slip up with a ham sandwich, forgetting it has butter or margarine in it, the consequences could be much, much worse.

The issue isn't about how ill it did or didn't make her, the issue is that they failed to protect her.

I'm all for the child learning to check themselves by asking if food is safe, but at 4 that is just baby steps towards getting them to take some responsibility for their condition as they grow up. At 4, the responsibility to check foods lies squarely with the teacher.

[ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp]

Am wondering how Op got on with discussing this with the teacher/HT, please come back and let us know OP.