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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that dog owners shouldnt assume that everyone else is a dog lover?

275 replies

urtwistingmymelonman · 21/06/2013 06:15

when I bump into you in the park I don't want to have a soggy nose repeatedly pushed into my crotch.
when I come to your house for a cuppa I would prefer it if your doggy didn't keep trying to hump my leg.
and when im 17 weeks preggers I don't want a bloody great german shepherd jumping up at me pawing at me with his claws as if hes trying to bury a bone in me!
don't get me wrong,i like dogs and I think anyone who mistreats or neglects them should be hung,drawn and quartered but aibu to think that when this sort of behaviour is displayed said fluffball should be pulled of instead of doting owner giggling and rolling eyes at me in an isn't he adorable kind of fashion?

OP posts:

Foxred10 · 21/06/2013 06:17

Yanbu. Other people's dogs are like other people's kids - pleasant if well mannered, insufferable if not

Original poster

urtwistingmymelonman · 21/06/2013 06:28

exactly.
doting mums are the same.
'isn't young cedric wonderful?' whilst young cedric is outside tying firecrackers to next doors cat!

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 21/06/2013 06:32

If you're in the dog's own home, tough IMO.

Original poster

urtwistingmymelonman · 21/06/2013 06:33

ok.so If I were to have a friend round and my son repeatedly hit them round the head with a plastic hammer I could just say the same thing?

OP posts:

Grockle · 21/06/2013 07:03

Yanbu... Lots of dog owners think its ok to let their mutt bound up to anyone & insist that it's ok because 'he's just being friendly.'

I am a dog owner. I always ask visitors if they are ok with dogs. If they aren't, the dog goes in the garden or kitchen til the visitor is ok or leaves (unless it is an unwelcome visitor in which case, the dog stays near me )

LtEveDallas · 21/06/2013 07:07

I won't put my dog out of its home for a visitor. Visitors know we have one (sometimes more than one) and can choose to visit or not.

I get that not all people like or can be around dogs, that's why I give them a choice. I also ensure my dog(s) are well trained and unable to bound up to strangers etc, although I do get pissed off when strangers shout "keep you dog away from me" when she is nowhere near them and not interested in them in the slightest

SkinnybitchWannabe · 21/06/2013 07:14

YANBU Op. I agree

Bunbaker · 21/06/2013 07:15

"If you're in the dog's own home, tough IMO."

I disagree. If I had invited someone to my house, and they were uncomfortable with my pet I would do something about it.

It is called good manners

Bunbaker · 21/06/2013 07:18

I don't mind dogs and I adore cats, but I still get that some people don't like them. How difficult is it to put your pet into another room if you have a visitor who feels uncomfortable?

Why do some pet owners take the view of "love me love my pet?" Or maybe I am more considerate and and better at making them feel welcome.

Labradorwhisperer · 21/06/2013 07:21

Oooooh. Another one of THESE threads. Can I save everyone a bit of time?

YANBU, because that sort of behaviour from ANY dog is not acceptable and it is the owner's responsibility to deal with it.

YABU if you assume it is ALL dog owners. After all, there are some humans I really don't want my dogs making friends with anyway.

YABU also if you expect people to always want the company of children. Sometimes, I prefer prefer dogs :)

Bunbaker · 21/06/2013 07:22

I usually prefer cats to most people anyway

forgetmenots · 21/06/2013 07:24

Yanbu.

LtEve if I'm honest I might shout that to you depending on your dog- I'm genuinely phobic and have called over to owners
'Can you call your dog away from me please?' to avoid any scene, friendly or otherwise! It makes taking my DS to the park a nightmare for me but I'm sure a lot of the owners think I'm mad, it will be clear to them their dog isn't interested but that isn't obvious to me at all, I find them so unpredictable.

lljkk · 21/06/2013 07:25

That's weird, I like dogs. I like saying hello to them. And am amazed at how much owners seem to not want me to ever approach (even if doggy is friendly). How many people walk a wide berth keeping a very short leash, how many dogs themselves are well trained to completely ignore other people (trained to be unfriendly).

Thing is once I do approach and do make it clear I know how to approach a dog on its terms then people thaw & are glad to be friendly & share their dog passion. But most owners seem very (excessively) concerned that their dog might bother somebody.

Original poster

urtwistingmymelonman · 21/06/2013 07:26

thank you grockle and dallas.
I had boxer dogs while growing up in my childhood home and because they had been trained well we never had this problem so its not like im speaking with no experience.
while they are still puppies of course these things are going to happen but by the time they are two,three or even older this can be sorted.
no dog is impossible to train.
I also have a very affectionate cat who would practically curl himself around your neck if you would let him but if he tries that with any visitors he is told no and he gets down.

OP posts:

Aetae · 21/06/2013 07:28

I don't assume everyone likes my dog. I find it strange when they're scared of him, because he's a 13 inch high fluff ball, but ok people have different histories with dogs. I try to stop him saying hello to everyone he meets (challenging, he's very friendly). I don't assume people interpret his behaviour correctly (ie harmless).

But I also assume that people are capable of stating their needs- not all of my friends are crazy about dogs but I'm hardly going to stop the dog bounding up to them and saying hello in our home - they're not petrified and they're perfectly able to ask me to stop him, or stop him themself. The default in this house is dog in lap, if you don't like it say something don't tut. If he's being particularly overbearing I do ask but people have all said they like his affection.

Original poster

urtwistingmymelonman · 21/06/2013 07:29

lljkk yes it can go the other way definitely and I shouldn't have generalised but there are owners who would happily let there dogs hump you and that is just wrong!

OP posts:

Aetae · 21/06/2013 07:32

The cat points up thread are a perfect example. I'm hugely allergic to cats and I don't like them at all. Never once has a cat person asked me if they should remove their asthma inducing animal from my presence, nor would I expect them to - I tell them if the cat poses a problem. How are they supposed to guess?

pictish · 21/06/2013 07:39

I like dogs a lot. I don't have one atm, as I have not the time to give one the attention and time one requires, but I do love them. However, I do think there is a certain breed of owners who could be doing with some training themselves.

Yanbu OP - not everyone likes dogs, and those owners who allow their pets to get in other people's faces, without checking it's ok first, and who then get uppity when someone complains, need a good sound slapping imo. Ignorant twits.

Original poster

urtwistingmymelonman · 21/06/2013 07:56

I sympathise with you Aetae and my cat is a shorthair who doesn't molt much and is more of an outdoor cat but that is something that is a bit more unavoidable unfortunately.
its like eating something that may have traces of nuts in or using a hand towel at somebodys house that has been washed in a detergent that you are allergic to.

OP posts:

pictish · 21/06/2013 07:57

For example...in the park the other say, a woman walking along with two collies off lead. I was sitting on a bench chatting to a friend at the time. One of the collies clocked us, bounded over and jumped up onto the bench wagging its tail joyously. The woman smiled indulgently at her dog, while I pushed it back off again. My friend is not fond of dogs and was scrambling to get off the bench, while the collie slobbered all over her fabric handbag.
"Och he's just being friendly" she helpfully informed us. I said "can you call him back please?" at which her smile turned to a scowl, and she curtly called on the dog with a pinchy face, before rolling her eyes and muttering under her breath, obviously put out that we weren't enjoying her dogs affections.

I could have swung for her, not because of the dog, but because of her shocking bad manners.

And I do not agree that if the dog is in its own home, tough.

I don't visit people to have my crotch inspected, or my clothes slobbered on thanks.

Original poster

urtwistingmymelonman · 21/06/2013 08:04

lol.
the reason I posted this pic is because of my experience at my friends yesterday.
she has an adorable lab but she spent the entire time nuzzling my groin area and licking my bare skin leaving a very distinctive doggy drool smell on me.
I was going to lunch straight after and had to stop and buy baby wipes to remove the smell.
I did tell her no and push her away repeatedly so you would think friend would kind of get the hint?

OP posts:

Original poster

urtwistingmymelonman · 21/06/2013 08:05

don't know why I said posted this pic.please ignore.

OP posts:

KittensoftPuppydog · 21/06/2013 08:07

I wouldn't want anyone to visit me who didn't like my dog.
Okay, dogs should be trained not to pester people, but IMO people who don't like dogs are just plain wrong, and overreact a lot too.

MissBeehiving · 21/06/2013 08:08

YANBU unless the dog is in it's own home. And then ask if you don't like it. I'm a dog owner not a mind reader.

Original poster

urtwistingmymelonman · 21/06/2013 08:09

I like dogs kitten. just not the behaviour posted above.

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