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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tickling

34 replies

goodasgold · 21/06/2013 00:15

I find this awful, I think it's a way to control somebody. I don't understand how it's fun to be tickled. Go on, I asked it AIBU?

OP posts:
Pimpf · 21/06/2013 00:17

I personally hate it. My dd's on the other hand love it. Dd1 practically begs to be tickled. Go figure!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 21/06/2013 00:18

Some people like it....I go NUTSO if someone does it to me. They're likely to get kicked in the head as my limbs go in all directions and full speed too.

Cherriesarelovely · 21/06/2013 00:18

Oh I hate it too! I think it is torturous!

wannabedomesticgoddess · 21/06/2013 00:18

DD1 asks me to tickle her. Maybe because she trusts that I always will stop when she says.

I hate tickling. Its the loss of control, and a gripping fear takes hold. I dont trust anyone really.

SolidGoldBrass · 21/06/2013 00:21

Some people like it, some don't. It's actually a sexual fetish for some.

But it is also a weapon of abuse in some cases - some bullies like to tickle people because it's an assault that can be passed off as playful, and the person objecting can be mocked for having no sense of humour, being boring, etc.

RiotsNotDiets · 21/06/2013 00:22

I hate it, but then I remember being tickled mercilessly as a child until I couldn't breathe and pissed myself....

DD loves it but I tickle in short bursts of a few seconds giving her time to catch her breath enough to tell me to stop if she stops enjoying it.

kotinka · 21/06/2013 00:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5madthings · 21/06/2013 00:23

I hate it but my dd loves it!

NatashaBee · 21/06/2013 00:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

auntmargaret · 21/06/2013 00:27

No one tickles me, it's the law. I hate it, always did, even as a child. I think it's assault Smile Really.

elQuintoConyo · 21/06/2013 00:38

If you tickle DH on a certain area of his lower stomach, he vomits which I never do, oh no, not me

Monty27 · 21/06/2013 00:42

I must remember the word 'tickling' when next there is a thread about words t hat makes one cringe, because I have just realised, seeing it written, that even the word makes me really cringe.

I think SGB has it in the bag. as always

Sunrunner · 21/06/2013 08:19

I hate it. I lose all control and woe betide if anyone is in kicking distance if I get tickled.

My ds loves being tickled though.

diddl · 21/06/2013 08:21

I loathe it too.

But think it's only an issue if people don't stop when asked to-or tickle when asked not to.

xylem8 · 21/06/2013 08:52

SGB- wow! I have never heard of a tickling bully!!

Birdsgottafly · 21/06/2013 09:00

"I have never heard of a tickling bully"

Perhaps, you haven't, but there are plenty of adult (as well as children) bully's, who use tickling to bully and humiliate.

SupermansBigRedPants · 21/06/2013 09:29

I can't stand being tickled but i'm not very keen on being touched in general. I do tickle ds and df though. Ds loves it and df does Hmm at me Grin

I can understand 'tickle bullies' my sister used to really scratch and hurt me, often drawing blood/leaving marks and bruises but if i moaned she always said 'it's just tickling don't be a baby' and this went on right upto my early twenties.

firawla · 21/06/2013 09:31

I hate it, it creeps me out. I dont like people ticklng my kids either, generally

Buzzardbird · 21/06/2013 09:52

My DD loves it and begs me to tickle her...I use it as a way to teach her that 'stop' means 'stop' and 'no' means 'no'.

MrsMook · 21/06/2013 09:57

I dislike it- DH wriggling in his fingers in a certain way is enough to get me going. He likes that technique as he can do it safely out of the way of flailing limbs.

He's one of those who can mentally override it... Until I get him in 3 places at once Grin

ilovexmastime · 21/06/2013 10:01

I loved it as a child, not so keen now. It's definitely a trust issue.

babyhmummy01 · 21/06/2013 10:04

I am not a fan but dp, dsc's and I do end up having tickle fights every so often although it does end up me & the kids v him lol. It's a bit of harmless fun for us but I do understand that for others its torture

ShinyBabyOfficialNosePicker · 21/06/2013 10:06

I love 'nice tickling' like when I can persuade DH to to tickle my arm and its soft and gentle but hate aggressive tickling, especially on the feet!

lazarusb · 21/06/2013 11:30

An ex of mine used it as a form of abuse. I was literally helpless when he did it. It was awful, still can't stand it now.

Another ex, however, loved it because it turned him on (a lot) to see me wriggling. Then again, he knew when to stop and if I was unhappy, he'd stop.

On balance - still don't like it! Especially my feet.

SolidGoldBrass · 21/06/2013 14:14

As with anything, whether or not it's abusive depends on whether a person will stop when asked to. Even kissing can be abusive, if it's done by an abuser (the man who kisses his wife in public to put on a big act of being wonderful, when he's abusing her in private, for example - let alone the sort of creeps who want to kiss you under the mistletoe and get all arsy when you duck away...).

I think a lot of abusive people like things that allow them to touch other people in ways that are generally interpreted as friendly, because it's harder to refuse or reject any kind of touch that is supposed to be friendly without making yourself look grumpy and rude...

But my pet hate is massage. I have occasionally hit people for trying to give me shoulder rubs when I don't want them to do so.