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AIBU?

Tickling

34 replies

goodasgold · 21/06/2013 00:15

I find this awful, I think it's a way to control somebody. I don't understand how it's fun to be tickled. Go on, I asked it AIBU?

OP posts:

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dontgobaconmyheart · 18/12/2019 23:20

I hate it too OP, it's violating and feels demeaning. I actually had an ex who had a fetish for it, watched videos and everything. He was a misogynist prick though so in retrospect not very weird at all that he loved seeing women in a position of vulnerability or doing it out himself (vom). It's always the quiet ones..

pumpandthump · 18/12/2019 23:10

Argh! Zombie thread!!!!?

pumpandthump · 18/12/2019 23:10

I find this an odd one. As an adult I hate being tickled, even by DH who I trust implicitly.

As a child (3-5 years old) I hated being tickled by grandad but loved being tickled by my dad.

DS likes being tickled by me and his dad but often screams at us to stop, which we always do when he asks (we also give notice that we're going to tickle him so he can say if he doesn't want to be) but will then ask for us to carry on. It's like he likes not liking it. I remember feeling the same.

ChristinaAtack · 18/12/2019 22:49

Hey fellow mums, one for the females here. How would you recommend to get your husband to stop tickling you. I have quite tickly feet and hate when they’re tickled, but he thinks it’s cute. How would you stop?

Thumbtack · 21/06/2013 16:52

Being tickled makes me wee myself.

I hate it.

My siblings used to do it to me and it was a horrible feeling of losing self control.

For me there is nothing worse than being made to helplessly lose self control!

lazarusb · 21/06/2013 16:44

SGB I think any kind of unwanted touching is abhorrent. I wouldn't want a shoulder rub from someone unless I'd specifically asked for it either! I can't stand the hugging from friends or casual acquanitances, it just isn't me. Yet people think because they like it, it's ok to inflict it on you. Any tickling of me is now definitely done only on my terms I have been known to quite very angry with people who try to get at my feet because they know I can't stand it.

AnnoyedAtWork · 21/06/2013 14:47

An ex,who was totally EA and controlling, often did it till I was helpless and begging. I hate it ??

livinginwonderland · 21/06/2013 14:41

I think it depends. DP and I get in playfights a lot and he tickles me, but I know he'll stop when I say, and vice-versa. My only rule is not to touch my feet, because I won't be responsible for the bloody nose/kick in the nuts you'll get as a result!

DorisShutt · 21/06/2013 14:30

My DS loves it - but our family stop tickling him when he asks so he trusts us and will often yell "stop" then catch his breath and call for more.

I hate it. I tolerate DS doing it, but again I am teaching him to stop when I ask an because I stop when he asks, he is understanding that he has to do the same.

I do not allow anyone else near me, DH gets carried away and doesn't stop when I ask so I don't trust him and my parents were the same; the only slightly weird exception is my BIL who stops when I ask.

SolidGoldBrass · 21/06/2013 14:14

As with anything, whether or not it's abusive depends on whether a person will stop when asked to. Even kissing can be abusive, if it's done by an abuser (the man who kisses his wife in public to put on a big act of being wonderful, when he's abusing her in private, for example - let alone the sort of creeps who want to kiss you under the mistletoe and get all arsy when you duck away...).

I think a lot of abusive people like things that allow them to touch other people in ways that are generally interpreted as friendly, because it's harder to refuse or reject any kind of touch that is supposed to be friendly without making yourself look grumpy and rude...

But my pet hate is massage. I have occasionally hit people for trying to give me shoulder rubs when I don't want them to do so.

lazarusb · 21/06/2013 11:30

An ex of mine used it as a form of abuse. I was literally helpless when he did it. It was awful, still can't stand it now.

Another ex, however, loved it because it turned him on (a lot) to see me wriggling. Then again, he knew when to stop and if I was unhappy, he'd stop.

On balance - still don't like it! Especially my feet.

ShinyBabyOfficialNosePicker · 21/06/2013 10:06

I love 'nice tickling' like when I can persuade DH to to tickle my arm and its soft and gentle but hate aggressive tickling, especially on the feet!

babyhmummy01 · 21/06/2013 10:04

I am not a fan but dp, dsc's and I do end up having tickle fights every so often although it does end up me & the kids v him lol. It's a bit of harmless fun for us but I do understand that for others its torture

ilovexmastime · 21/06/2013 10:01

I loved it as a child, not so keen now. It's definitely a trust issue.

MrsMook · 21/06/2013 09:57

I dislike it- DH wriggling in his fingers in a certain way is enough to get me going. He likes that technique as he can do it safely out of the way of flailing limbs.

He's one of those who can mentally override it... Until I get him in 3 places at once

Buzzardbird · 21/06/2013 09:52

My DD loves it and begs me to tickle her...I use it as a way to teach her that 'stop' means 'stop' and 'no' means 'no'.

firawla · 21/06/2013 09:31

I hate it, it creeps me out. I dont like people ticklng my kids either, generally

SupermansBigRedPants · 21/06/2013 09:29

I can't stand being tickled but i'm not very keen on being touched in general. I do tickle ds and df though. Ds loves it and df does at me

I can understand 'tickle bullies' my sister used to really scratch and hurt me, often drawing blood/leaving marks and bruises but if i moaned she always said 'it's just tickling don't be a baby' and this went on right upto my early twenties.

Birdsgottafly · 21/06/2013 09:00

"I have never heard of a tickling bully"

Perhaps, you haven't, but there are plenty of adult (as well as children) bully's, who use tickling to bully and humiliate.

xylem8 · 21/06/2013 08:52

SGB- wow! I have never heard of a tickling bully!!

diddl · 21/06/2013 08:21

I loathe it too.

But think it's only an issue if people don't stop when asked to-or tickle when asked not to.

Sunrunner · 21/06/2013 08:19

I hate it. I lose all control and woe betide if anyone is in kicking distance if I get tickled.

My ds loves being tickled though.

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Monty27 · 21/06/2013 00:42

I must remember the word 'tickling' when next there is a thread about words t hat makes one cringe, because I have just realised, seeing it written, that even the word makes me really cringe.

I think SGB has it in the bag. as always

elQuintoConyo · 21/06/2013 00:38

If you tickle DH on a certain area of his lower stomach, he vomits which I never do, oh no, not me

auntmargaret · 21/06/2013 00:27

No one tickles me, it's the law. I hate it, always did, even as a child. I think it's assault Really.

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