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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that most women would rather have a girl/girls than a boy/boys?

443 replies

jellysandwich · 20/06/2013 14:17

I have read so many posts with pregnant mothers who are upset that they are having a ds and in real life I find that mothers who have all boys or boys first, tend to denigrate them to mums of girls and put their daughters on pedestals. Mums of girls tend to not mind having no boys whereas all boy mums seem to feel sad that they have only boys. I have never come across any women who only wanted boy(s).

Am I right in thinking that most women want to have girls and wouldn't mind having all girls if they have more than one child, whereas boys are almost always seen as second best and not the desired choice of most women?

OP posts:
Badvoc · 20/06/2013 17:39

Nope.
Very happy to have 2 boys.

Francagoestohollywood · 20/06/2013 17:41

It's anecdotical, but yes, it seems that the majority of parents to be I met wished for a girl.

And there's plenty of smug parents of girls around Grin

HollyBerryBush · 20/06/2013 17:42

I had no desire whatsoever to have girls. I look at teenage girls on the street and thank my lucky stars I don't have girls.

Mrschocolate · 20/06/2013 17:42

I only wanted a DS and could only picture myself having boys. First DC was a DD and I was shocked and worried. I love her of course but until I had her I only wanted a boy.

BIWI · 20/06/2013 17:46

Welcome to Mumsnet, jellysandwich.

YAVBU and this is a really silly OP.

One anecdote does not make data.

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/06/2013 17:54

Yanbu to an extent.

I can't imagine having a son, as in picture it in my head. I'm sure when I do have children though I'll be just as happy with a healthy boy as with a healthy girl.

Justforlaughs · 20/06/2013 18:01

YABU as I know lots of mums of boys who are very happy to have all boys. However, i personally was desperate to have a girl, and although I love all my boys I was absolutely over the moon when i had my DD

thebody · 20/06/2013 18:06

I love my boys but admit I desperately wanted a girl as no 3 as well.... I just did! Had 2 dds.

However now older and wiser just glad they are all healthy and realise that being girls or boys is irrelevant. They are individuals not sexes.

MrsCampbellBlack · 20/06/2013 18:07

Well I had 2 boys and honestly thought I didn't mind what sex dc3 was. And then I had my 20 week scan and found out she was a girl and honestly, I was overjoyed.

I love my boys of course but having a very close relationship with my mother and sister, I guess I did want a daughter.

Of course, if I'd had 2 girls, I'm sure I'd have been overjoyed to then have a son.

I blame all the anti-mil threads on here though. And I do agree with fussandmess that its not when they're litte that's a problem but when they're adults. I live in fear of the 'you're not his family anymore' stuff that is said on here about the mothers of grown up sons.

hamilton75 · 20/06/2013 18:08

YABU you don't speak for all women and so can't make such assumptions really.

Thesebootsweremadeforwalking · 20/06/2013 18:10

YABU. My DS is lovely, so's my DD.

opalescent · 20/06/2013 18:10

I had a boy, and was overjoyed. Coming from a very female dominant family, it was/is such an excitement, a massive change of dynamic. he continues to be a source of wonder for my whole extended family Grin

Lastofthepodpeople · 20/06/2013 18:16

YABU I have a DS and was thrilled to have a boy. We're trying for DC2 and I honestly don't mind if its either. I don't know anyone who's said they're sorry to have a boy or denigrates their sons. maybe its just your friends.

exoticfruits · 20/06/2013 18:18

You get a very distorted view of things if you take MN as the general view of anything!
I suppose that in RL I have come across this view of propertyNightmareBC
I think most women do want at least one girl.

I have had it said that it is sad that I will not experience the mother/daughter relationship-ironically by someone who has a lousy one with her own DD!

I have 3 DSs and am quite happy. You have a 50/50 chance -I can't see the point in having a DC if you mind which gender, because a 50% chance of being disappointed is rather high.

exoticfruits · 20/06/2013 18:20

It generally boils down to wanting a doll like person to dress and style their hair, someone to shop with and a hope for a best friend as an adult-and experience should tell you that is just the luck of the draw!

perplexedpirate · 20/06/2013 18:22

YABU. I wanted a DS, I got a DS. Won't be having any more as I already have just what I always wanted.

AThingInYourLife · 20/06/2013 18:26

"I think I'd be a crap mum to girls, I don't know why.
It would have been nice to dress them pretty and do their hair nice."

:o

I know why!

grimbletart · 20/06/2013 18:27

I would like to take those who have a preference for one sex or the other and introduce them to certain members of my family. When they see what it is like to have an incredibly severely developmentally and physically disabled child and the life-changing effect that has on the whole family I would like to think they would be on their knees with gratitude that they have a healthy child.

The "I wanted a boy" or "I wanted a girl" attitude makes me shudder.
I would be concerned that those with a massive leaning to one sex or the other or more likely to stereotype their boy or girl i.e. to have expectations that one sex is "more this" or "less that", boys are easier than girls or vice versa. They are all individuals and there is so much more difference between two individuals of the same sex than there is between boys and girls generally.

Remind me - this is 2013 isn't it?

ilovecolinfirth · 20/06/2013 18:28

2 beautiful sons who are my life. Would not change them for a thing. Didn't find out what we were having because we didn't care, but always had it in my head that they would've been boys. First time I lay eyes on both of them I fell so much in love with them. Cannot even begin to imagine life with girls.

Bythebeach · 20/06/2013 18:41

I have three sons. When I was pregnant with my first I could only imagine a girl until the scan but overwhelmed with joy and strangely pride on finding out he was a boy. Number 2 was expecting a boy and he just fit. Number 3 I had slight momentary sense of sadness at scan but more because I didn't want friends and family to dismiss his importance as he is another boy.

I love being mum to three sons. It is perfect!

BridgetBidet · 20/06/2013 18:41

Exactly how unimaginative would you have to be to think that ALL people would want to have the same thing and feel the same way?

MerryOnMerlot · 20/06/2013 18:42

Biggest load of bollocks I've heard in a long time.

MrsGSR · 20/06/2013 18:43

I always wanted a boy first (now I'm pregnant I'd be happy either way!) and my SIL wants only boys.

Ruprekt · 20/06/2013 18:44

YABU and very rude!!!

I have 2 boys and could not have been more thrilled!

My friend has 3 boys and wanted no girls at all.

Another friend has 3 girls and wanted 3 boys!!!

I am grateful that they are healthy and bright and funny and gorgeous and no desire for me to have a girl at all!!

Have my first Biscuit

Pagedown · 20/06/2013 18:47

I find a few mums of all boys (especially of 3+) seem to have totally lost their sense of self and have metamorphosed partly into a male themselves, short masculine haircuts, clothes that could have come from their husbands wardrobe and they just look really downtrodden. I imagine in some very male dominated households it's easier to conform with the majority. And it just all looks so bloody knackering.

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