to think that most women would rather have a girl/girls than a boy/boys?

[jellysandwich]

I have read so many posts with pregnant mothers who are upset that they are having a ds and in real life I find that mothers who have all boys or boys first, tend to denigrate them to mums of girls and put their daughters on pedestals. Mums of girls tend to not mind having no boys whereas all boy mums seem to feel sad that they have only boys. I have never come across any women who only wanted boy(s).

Am I right in thinking that most women want to have girls and wouldn't mind having all girls if they have more than one child, whereas boys are almost always seen as second best and not the desired choice of most women?

I think most women just want a healthy baby, those with genuine preference are few and far between

I have high hopes that my boys and I will always be close but seeing most of the men I know does worry me! Without exception they adore their mums but from a distance iyswim. They are all much more involved with their wives' families

I don't tend to worry about that because DH is very close to his parents as is his brother. I don't see that as a bad thing at all, quite the opposite. The importance of family to him was one of the reasons I thought he'd be a good long term prospect! He speaks to his parents every day and they see DS at least once a week, BIL's kids see them even more than that. BIL's wife's parents aren't really interested. We see PIL at least as often as we see my parents :)

Also, I was far closer to my Dad's mum than my other grandmother. We lived with them when I was a baby and then she looked after me every day when I was a toddler so we had a very close relationship. I can't stand my maternal grandmother, she's emotionally abusive to my mum and was towards me too when I was younger.

So I don't really worry about DS being distant when he's older, it's just not a pattern I recognise from either my or DH's families.

I wanted all boys and was quite upset when last baby was a DD (wouldn't swap her now) and I cna't say that any of my friends have been unhappy at having boys or wanted girls more

Why would I want a girl? Ewwww!!!! [childish nose wrinkle] They're far too complicated!

I honestly think that I have the right children for me with my beyond quirky boys. 95% of the pink in the house is MINE! :o

No. why?

Shocked by how many people"wanted" a particular gender and the stupid opinions of what having each gender means. I have 3dds and each is very different and judging by the stereotypes on here, one must be a boy! Never seen so many stupid messages on one post.

I can't read the whole thread but the OP is nonsense imo. I knew I would love whatever came along but inside I totally wanted boys. And I got them :)

Opening post talking shite then doesn't come back!

All 3 of my boys were wanted as boys , we never once wanted a girl.

I know more women who are just desperate to have a baby than I know women who are desperate to have one gender over another.

When pregnant with dc1, I hoped he was a boy so that any future children would have a lovely big brother to protect them. Daft, I know, but I always wished I had a big brother when I was growing up (I am the eldest).

Ive got 3 amazing ds. I was very upset after having ds number 2 because I had everyone asking me if I was hoping for a girl. At that time my hospital didn't tell us the sex so I started to hope I was having a daughter.
But when I was expecting number 3 I wasn't bothered at all what he was because I was having some major health problems so he was my little surprise.
I couldn't imagine myself with a dd now.

Just to add to my above post.
Between me and two of my friends we have 10 boys and no girls!!...we're sure there must be something in the water around here

Sorry, I just wanted to come back and explain what I meant about denigrating boys.

In the last week alone I have had 3 different occasions in which I have heard mums with boys saying things that I would consider denigrating. One was in the supermarket where the cashier was saying how lazy her son was in comparison to her girls for potty training, another was a mum at school who was shaking her head and moaning about how energetic her two boys were and how she wished she had a nice little girl who sat quietly. The third was from another mum who has two girls and went on to have a baby boy and was saying how much more difficult and whiny he was than her girls.

Maybe I am just more sensetive to these kind of comments because I only have boys.

I didnt have a pref honestly with my first and had a boy. Preg with my second someone suggested a girl, the thought of having a girl terrified me. I know boys. Luckily for me I have all boys. tbh i dont want a girl. Im much happier playing rugby with my boys than having to try and do hair/nails yawn.

I have boys, I never wanted a girl. Maybe this has something to do with my less than perfect relationship with my mother, who wanted a girly, makeup loving little girl who liked dollies and planned her wedding from the age of 5 and got.. me! Women who want little girls because they want to shop and do makeup and hair with them make me sad, because Iwas the girl who never wanted to do that, and was moaned at for most of my teenage years for not 'making enough effort with my looks/ reading too much/ thinking too much/ not dressing up nicely enough etc etc.
My brother is closer to my mum. My DH is closer to his mum than his sister and we speak to them most weekends. They are always moaning that they don't hear from his sister as much.

I am over the moon that I am having a boy, was what we both would have preferred. But I would have been just as delighted with a girl.

I'd rather two boys or 1 boy and 1 girl over 2 girls any day.

ONly thing that worries me though is one day, maybe in 30 years time I'll be a MIL that all the ladies on here moan about!

I haven't read the whole thread either, but I do think YABU.

As a mum of 4 boys I have experienced a few sad and pitying faces, and one woman actually said "Oh dear never mind" when I told her the sex of my third, but these silly comments were only from a few older women. I think it is a generational thing and certainly not universal.

There are lovely boys and lovely girls and equally "difficult" stages can happen with both sexes, as they are all individuals. Some people do generalise about this, but it's mostly tongue in cheek and off the cuff IME, not to be taken seriously.

I absolutely love my boys, but am certain I would say exactly the same of my girls had I had them.

I could never see myself with a girl. Just as well the hoped for boys turned up.

I have a boy
I never particularly wanted a girl
And I don't particularly want one now
Would be very happy with another boy

I think your hypotheses is a pile of tosh quite frankly

I do hear of women saying they were devastated when baby was a boy - especially if it was a second, third etc. I don't think I've ever heard that said about having another girl. I don't know why but we seem to be culturally programmed to value girls more than boys, unlike most of the rest of the world.

I hate it when I hear anyone saying they are disappointed in the sex of their child. It makes me want to hit them. I have three boys and only ever experienced a nano-second of regret that DS2 and DS3 were boys, and bonded with them instantly and never wished they were anything else than who they were, from the second I held them.

I have never longed for a girl, I just sort of assumed I'd have one, but I didn't - and I wouldn't change it for anything. I certainly would not keep having more and more children in an attempt to get one.

I'm too ancient to have any more kids and I never wanted a fourth but if I suddenly found myself miraculously PG now I'd happily plump for a 4th boy given the choice. I'm too old to tackle the unknown now.

I haven't read the whole thread but...
I have 2 of each. B,g,g,b. I am ashamed to admit that I was devastated when dd1 was born and she wasn't a 2nd son. I love her to bits now but I only ever saw myself with boys and so wanted ds1 to have a brother so we went for a 3rd and got dd2! We eventually got ds2 but the gap between my boys is big and ds2 has some problems so its never going to be the close brotherly unit who camp in the woods together. I love my children equally but I would have been more than happy with just boys.

I think I'd love boys if I were to have children. Maybe because I have a not totally uncomplicated relationship with my own mother IYSWIM. I'd be much more on edge with a girl worrying I was going to "do it wrong". So I'm sure a lot of it is about the baggage of your own upbringing.

I think part of my problem when dd1 was born was pn depression which hit me on day 1 plus literally everyone coming up to me and saying oh you must be so pleased to have one of each, how perfect.

I think most women do want at least one girl. I am delighted that I have three. I am equally delighted with ds though too. I think I would have felt sad not to have any girls.