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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect the school to inform me when they send my daughter's new teacher to nursery to visit her?

123 replies

Pealicious · 19/06/2013 09:22

I couldn't believe it when I collected my daughter from nursery yesterday only to find that the teacher who will be taking her in Foundation in September came to visit her yesterday. I called the school who said that its standard practice and appropriate but that they will look to review their practise in future. I haven't received a single piece of communication from the school in terms of who my daughter's teacher will be, no welcome letter, no meet the teacher date for me, nothing. Grrrrr. AIBU?

OP posts:

GladbagsGold · 19/06/2013 13:37

YANBU. But a lot of schools are crap at communication.

Jenny70 · 19/06/2013 13:42

A letter might have been nice, as you may have reasons you don't want the child visisted by the teacher - maybe you are on waiting list for another school, appealing, thinking of moving etc and don't want them to be fixated on this particular teacher/school etc. For some children a last minute change of plans isn't a problem, but for some this can cause great angst if plans change etc.

Overall, I'm sure it's fine (and heaps more convenient than a home visit), but it would be common courtesy to inform you, in case there are issues they need to know about beforehand.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 19/06/2013 13:55

I'm glad other people don't think 'you're mad as a box of frogs' . I think some people are being deliberately rude and unpleasant for some unknown reason.

How dare you want to be involved in your child's education, and transition to her first school. And how dare you want to be treated as an equal partner in this transition, and how very dare you think it's important for home to know what the process is, because all those stupid parents will go around 'whipping their child into a frenzy'. FFS.

Original poster

Pealicious · 19/06/2013 14:16

some really helpful comments guys - yes, i am probably a bit anxious about the transition but ultimately it just seems a bit strange that this visit went ahead unbeknownst to me and that i have had no letter/pack/communication of any kind from the school.
Thanks DoubleLife and others for the support :)

OP posts:

morticia74 · 19/06/2013 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

FunnysInLaJardin · 19/06/2013 17:05

morticia you seem to be wandering about this afternoon offering some rather forthright opinions for one just new to the site. I keep coming across you

morticia74 · 19/06/2013 17:08

Oh so sorry for not being nice and sweet and staying in my box. I'll go whip myself now. I am forthright. Don't like it? Then don't talk to me.

maddy68 · 19/06/2013 17:29

It's a standard thing in my school so that the kids are familiar with tbf new teacher. Why do you think you would be informed? It's just part of the normal school thing!

halcyondays · 19/06/2013 18:41

My dds used to go in and see their teachers in a very informal way, before they started school, and sometimes go to assembly etc. We weren't told as it was just informal. But I think it's a bit odd that you haven't had anything about an induction day, we were given a date for meeting the teacher well in advance, it came with the letter confirming their school place, so a couple of months before. When we meet the teacher we were given a starting date and time and info about uniform, school dinners etc.

So I would have thought by now you would have heard something.

thebody · 19/06/2013 18:48

It's completely standard practise at our school for reception teachers to visit nurseries/ cms/ home settings.

Teachers also gather valuable info re child and family from settings without parents being there,but of course don't advertise this.

You should have a school induction day or meeting as well.

exoticfruits · 19/06/2013 19:01

I would see it as a good school. Secondary schools go into primary schools to aid the transition,they don't tell the parents- I can't see why they would need to.

exoticfruits · 19/06/2013 19:03

I used to go into the infant school in the summer term to talk to my new class when I had a junior class- it was a different school. I have no idea whether the parents knew in advance.

McNewPants2013 · 19/06/2013 19:07

Actually Op I agree with you.

Somebody should have to you about the transit process from nursery to school.

DD nursery sent home a school pack, that outlines exactly what to expect with a sentance in there that these are guidelines and not all dates are fixed.

HappyMummyOfOne · 19/06/2013 19:09

YABU, you cant micro manage every little aspect of your childs life.

You will get yourself a reputation if you start moaning about trivial things and there are a lot of years at primary level.

exoticfruits · 19/06/2013 19:19

Why would you need to know? There will be chance to meet you later.

schoolgovernor · 19/06/2013 20:01

Don't be precious. This is standard very good practice. It doesn't mean you won't be involved at all. I'm sure the nursery were quite capable of doing any "preparing" of your daughter that was required. Some information about the transition should be forthcoming and I'd think it reasonable if you asked the school what to expect. There is time yet for them to be sending you something, but no harm in asking.

EglantinePrice · 19/06/2013 21:03

I'm surprised no one told you.

Its just basic, good communication.

Who arranged it? How did the school even know where your dd is at nursery and when?

FunnysInLaJardin · 19/06/2013 22:14

no need to whip yourself morticia just a bit of an odd way to introduce yourself to a new site

Cherriesarelovely · 19/06/2013 23:02

How odd that the school have sent you nothing! No wonder you are puzzled. At my school new parents were informed of "transition afternoons" (we have 4) and a new parents' evening weeks ago. I would call the school to tell them your thoughts. I don't think there is anything wrong with the teacher visiting the nursery without informing you but inthe context you have described that might annoy me.

foreverondiet · 19/06/2013 23:07

I think you are going to have to change your expectations of communications frankly. There are bigger things to worry about in life that this....

BackforGood · 19/06/2013 23:28

DeWe put it very well at 10:20
I have to agree with the majority though - there really isn't an issue here, and you will find out trillions of things after they have happened once your dd goes to school.

SE13Mummy · 19/06/2013 23:42

DD2 starts school in September and all we've received thus far is a letter that is so poorly written that I wish they hadn't bothered. It contradicts itself throughout and has crucial information missing - think mail-merge gone wrong.

DD2 tells us she's been into Reception playground (she is at the school nursery) and the communication from the nursery is dire at the best of times so I'm not surprised we didn't know anything about it. It hasn't mattered for DD2 and I don't feel as though I've been deprived of the opportunity to be the person to tell her who her Reception teacher is (no-one knows yet and, apparently, we won't for a while).

It was different for DD1 when she was in the same nursery as she was one of only a couple of children who weren't transferring to that Reception class (because of fraudulent behaviour locally meaning she didn't get a place, not because we didn't want her to). Unfortunately, the rest of the Nursery all went to visit Reception one morning and DD1 was left behind because she wasn't going to that school....and we'd not told her as we were waiting to hear from another borough , DD2 was about to be born and we thought the Nursery teachers had understood that we were holding off telling her that she wasn't transferring with her friends until we were in a position to tell her where she was going. There's nothing like being 8 months and 3 weeks pregnant and meeting your sobbing 4.5 year-old from Nursery who's spluttering, "X school don't want me in Reception Mummy...they want everyone else but not me" etc. etc.

I'd have been delighted if DD1's Reception teacher had visited her in Nursery - her eventual school didn't do visits: not for teachers to the children's homes/nurseries or for the children to see the school!

sunshine9 · 21/06/2013 22:55

Quite a few mean messages here which is sad. it is daunting and new to some people their first child starting a new stage in life and not knowing what to expect. I wouldn't have been angry (as I think you say) but its nice to have the excitement too that today my daughter met her new teacher, and share in it with them afterwards,not find out after its happened. As she gets settled into school, the changes as they happen will probably become insignificant in comparison, but it is all new and I too would probably like at least to be told the day before when I collect my daughter from nursery,that the new teacher was hopefully dropping in the next day, but my nursery as the previous one before I moved recently, both had good verbal communication on handover. Perhaps that is what is missing at this stage and that is why you feel let down. x

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