To expect the school to inform me when they send my daughter's new teacher to nursery to visit her?

[Pealicious]

I couldn't believe it when I collected my daughter from nursery yesterday only to find that the teacher who will be taking her in Foundation in September came to visit her yesterday. I called the school who said that its standard practice and appropriate but that they will look to review their practise in future. I haven't received a single piece of communication from the school in terms of who my daughter's teacher will be, no welcome letter, no meet the teacher date for me, nothing. Grrrrr. AIBU?

I think you should relax a bit this doesn't sound like a big deal.

But actually they don't want you "preparing your dd". The teacher wants to come and see what she's like in her normal enviroment, Not excited/scared/on best behaviour because mummy has told her the teacher is coming.
I don't know of any preschools that would tell in advance round here.

The preschool mine went to led on to several schools. They tried to arrange each school (even if there's only one child) to send a teacher in. The rough format for a teacher coming for small numbers would be:
Teacher comes in around 10:00 while they're all playing. She watches the child, preschool teacher will say what she particularly likes/is good at, all very positive comments. At around 10:30 they'll call the child over and say something along the lines of "This is Miss X, she's a teacher at your new school, would you like to read a story with her/do a picture/show her..." something that the child enjoys (with preschool teacher as well). They'll spend about 10 minutes doing that and chatting, and letting the child ask questions.
Then the teacher says how excited and looking forward to seeing the child next year. Child usually skips off feeling important because her "big teacher" has come to see her and is looking forward to seeing her next term.

No I'm just surprised that the programme for this transitional half term hasn't been outlined at all - not the that the specifics of visits and activities haven't been shared. tbh dd was living abroad until 4 weeks before she started so none of this applied anyway and feel it is all a bit ott.

This happened at DS's pre-school and I would have liked to have known as DS hasn't a clue who she was, he never mentioned it either- it was the teacher that told me on the induction evening. My DS does have speech issues and it would have been lovely if I could have 'reinforced' the visit by asking him about it and help him figure out who the strange lady was.

The teacher said he was very suspicious (I think the preschool may not have explained who the hell she was, ha), however, I really don't think it will matter at all as he has his induction days. I think you should calm down a bit, personally I really wouldn't want the to start the parent teacher relationship complaining about something that will be overcome before she starts school?

Therefore, OP, YABU :)

Reception teacher visited DS at nursery too, no prior warning to me. I found out when they visited us at home which had been arranged. I was really pleased that they had seen his nursery environment and spoken to the staff there...didn't cross my mind to be annoyed.

I'm sure you'll hear from the school in due course, it's a bit soon yet as the visits are usually first week in September.

but a simple letter letting me know would have made all the difference

Why?

YABVVVU and extremely precious.

The lack of communication from the school is odd. We already know teachers and dates for class visits during these last 5 weeks of term.

I'd speak to the school just to make sure you've not missed any letters.

It would have been nice if the nursery had told you at drop off "a teacher from X school is coming in today" or even "teachers from the schools the children are going to will be coming in over the next couple of weeks" but it's not really that big a deal.

It's not something that needed preparing for, it doesn't really make a difference to you if you're told before or after.

The lack of communication from the school is a bigger issue.

I think the op is getting a hard time.

Our school has had a parents evening for new parents where they were introduced to the reception teachers and TAs

They sent out an information pack (including notice that there would be home visits and nursery visits)

They have done visits to nursery and home visits
There will be induction days in about 2 weeks

I would find it odd that I hadn't heard anything from the school, but they are doing nursery visits.

It wouldn't bother me that teacher had been and I didn't know (no idea when school saw dds nursery)
It would bother me a lot that I hadn't heard anything yet from school

Phone them and check they have your details correct, and ask if there has been an information pack sent out that you have missed

I think you really need to look at why you are bothered by this. It is not at all A Big Deal - or even a little deal - it's no deal (Noel).

Your DD will meet other teachers/TA's/caretakers/Real Estate Agents (don't ask!) all the time - you 'pre-warning' her just makes it A Big Deal when it isn't.

Surely you trust the nursery - therefore it is not important who else is at the nursery when she is in their care, whether that's another parent, the cleaner or a teacher.

You are going to get very, very anxious when she does go to school if you feel the need to be informed of every little thing like this

Lifeisbetter - visits first week in september??

Here they are done in June. Visits to school in July, school starts on 2nd sept!

To be honest, if ONLY my child was receiving a visit I would appreciate a head's up. I think the gripe is at the total lack of communication between, nursery, school and parent.

A bug bear of mine is the lack of communication with parents, we hand our precious children over to the state, and suddenly it's almost as if we're at best unimportant and at worst the enemy. Often it's not the case, but a little communication goes a long way.

Since our headteacher retired the communication style from my sons' school has become nothing short of wonderful! A few carefull chosen words has suddenly made not the children, but the parents feel valued. The PTA funds have gone up, the teachers are facing happier parents, the parents speak with more respect about the teachers.

Good communication is so easy and solves a lot of issues.

I think the Nursery could have informed you that this visit was happening, they didn't need to give you a date and time, and I don't think the chance for a chat between you and your dd would have done any harm...

YABU to be cross about it, if you were mildly miffed at the lack of communication I would say YANBU.

OP it's understandable that you are nervous about your dd's transition to school but I think you are overreacting re the visit. This is very much standard practice and the nursery staff will have prepared the children in whatever way they feel is appropriate.

It is a bit odd that you have received no communication at all from the school though. I'd expect you to at the very least have been given a date for the induction meeting for parents. Perhaps worth checking some paperwork hasn't gone astray?

Made a difference in what way exactly? You sound mad as a box of frogs!

Odd that you haven't had any communication from the school, so blurb about uniform or anything? Shortly after we got the email saying which school we had been allocated, a letter arrived from the school asking us to confirm we would be taking up the place offered. Following that we have had a new parent's evening where we met the teacher and TA and got the welcome pack with info about drop off and pick up times, lunches, uniform, pe kits etc. Our DS is already at the nursery there, so we won't get a home visit (had ours before he started nursery), but I know from our older DC that they will carry out home visits in the first week of term (reception starts a week later for all children) and are doing other nursery visits this term.

Obviously home visits need to be arranged with the parent/carer, but with nurseries, I would say that the onus was on the nursery to let you know this was happening as they are the organisation currently responsible for your DD. I would vent your anger/frustration at the nursery rather than the school, who you will be having a relationship with for the next seven years (and as others have said, will have pegged you as the awkward parent already ) and get on to the school to find out their timetable for settling in days etc etc.

I think OP is NBU about the lack of communication. At the very least she should have known a meeting was likely to be arranged and take place around about now. The school should have made this clear and the nursery should have let her know too.

Pealicious I think you are being very very Reasonable. My DC2 would have been completely thrown by any mention of a new teacher. Unlike DC1 he doesn't have any comprehension of time but is a great worrier. He is moving schools and not going to the primary attached to his school but I have not actually told him yet. This isn't a problem because I was advised a few weeks ago that the teacher visit is scheduled for sometime next week, it just wouldn't have occurred to me that I might not know about this in advance. At some point this weekend I will talk to him about the new school, although not make a big deal about the teacher visit. Someone else giving him this information would be massively overstepping the line between parenting and school imo.

I'm very surprised by the responses saying you are in for a hard time. Your DS is very young and at 4 you are by far the most important important person in his life. I have a dc well into junior school so I'm not naïve in the ways of school and don't have a hard time at all!

At our school it's the Deputy Head that visits the children at nursery, like yourself OP the nursery is not attached to the school and my DDs are the only ones that will be going to that school.

It was a couple of days after Deputy had visited DD2 that I found out she'd had a visit - DD1 (who was already at the school) told me and I admit I was a bit at the time. Not because I was cross, but because I'd have liked to have known about it and been, you know, involved

Anyway this year with DD3 both the Deputy Head and the Nursery staff told me when the visit was planned (before it went ahead).

sorry just noticed you have a dd, long gap between reading and posting thanks to grumpy DC3.

You need to calm down and trust the nursery and school to do what they do best - helping little ones getting ready for starting school and settling in. These people are professionals and do this every year.

You will get plenty of opportunity to meet new teachers and get involved in the future.

Your DS will pick up on your anxiety unless you relax a bit!

Well I thought it was lovely.

he just said a quick "hello" on the doorstep, mentioned the "letter" that my son had sent (a piece of paper to fill in with your name, siblings, hobbies if you wanted), and that he would see him when school started.

It wasn't official, just something he did on the off chance.

So if you missed him you did.

Schools a big deal here.

The first day is always 2days after school has started back.

There´s an optional church service, then off to school.

Children sit at the front of the hall, parents/GPs friends & other rellies at the back.

HT does a welcome speech, then there was an entertainment by the children who started the year before.

Then the class teachers introduced themselves & called out the names of the children in their class, who then followed them off to the classroom whilst onlookers clapped, cheered & wiped away tears.

Whilst the children are in class for an hour or so, parents mingle & there's food & drink.

Then the next day they start with the full days.

It's the same for starting secondary, although no church service.

I suspect there is a bigger issue here, and I my guess is that you've probably kind of mentally psyched yourself up to deal with the fact that as from September, your DD will be starting school... but suddenly she has met her teacher and it's real and it's happened sooner than you were expecting and you can't deny it to yourself any more!

Sorry if that's out of line... I would probably feel the same though. :) I have no doubt that your DD will have taken it all in her stride, but I expect it's you that's a bit freaked out by the speed of it all!

Standard practice at the school I work in.

Hi pealicious, was talking to a friend the other day about our second dc starting school. Although its easier this time, small things can still knock me off balance a bit. My friend was a bit sad about the teacher her dc is going to have, I got upset the other day that m and s didn't have the trousers I wanted to buy ds. I think they're just signs that my child starting school is a big change that I don't feel entirely ready for. The things I get upset about are generally reminders to myself that I'm feeling unsettled. Does that make any sense? I do think the nursery visit is probably not a long term big thing, but that's been said. However, I'd be a bit cross not to hear anything about the whole transition thing. Your dd will sail through it with or without welcome letters and the like.

I think the OP has also not allowed for the fact that this half term is MAD BUSY in education! There is not only the existing class to continue to look after/write reports for, sports days, productions, sponsored events etc. They also have to plan for the new intake. They have limited time like us all. I think it's perfectly reasonable to be visiting the children without having to inform parents first. Maybe a bit of trust in the staff of the nursery and the school would help?!