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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the school to inform me when they send my daughter's new teacher to nursery to visit her?

123 replies

Pealicious · 19/06/2013 09:22

I couldn't believe it when I collected my daughter from nursery yesterday only to find that the teacher who will be taking her in Foundation in September came to visit her yesterday. I called the school who said that its standard practice and appropriate but that they will look to review their practise in future. I haven't received a single piece of communication from the school in terms of who my daughter's teacher will be, no welcome letter, no meet the teacher date for me, nothing. Grrrrr. AIBU?

OP posts:
CrowsLanding · 19/06/2013 09:35

What difference would it have made op?

mrsjay · 19/06/2013 09:36

but a simple letter letting me know would have made all the difference.

but why ? she was going to see a future pupil why did you need to formally know

arethereanyleftatall · 19/06/2013 09:36

Agree with others. What difference would it have made if you had known? now you've made yourself known as a pita before your DC has even started!

Squitten · 19/06/2013 09:37

Do you really think your daughter needs that much mental preparation to meet a teacher?! It was a friendly visit not an entrance exam!

YABU

weblette · 19/06/2013 09:37

I think a low key visit to get to know the new face is a great idea. Why make a big fuss about 'preparing' her or does your dd not know she'll be going somewhere different?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 19/06/2013 09:37

You don't need to prepare your Dd..that's what school are doing. Of course you need to prepare her for school...but you can't expect to prepare her for EVERYTHING....she'll meet all kinds of people without your knowledge at school. You are in for a hard time if you expect communication about ALL aspects. You will get a meet the teacher eventually.

mrsjay · 19/06/2013 09:38

and your daughter told you the teacher visited I would have been interested and excited for her not cross

moogy1a · 19/06/2013 09:38

Sorry. I agree you sound like a bit of a loon.

doormat · 19/06/2013 09:39

Op is very precocious....lmao

Original poster
Pealicious · 19/06/2013 09:39

I think you guys think I'm cross about the visit. I'm not - I htink it's lovely. I'm cross about the lack of communication. diddl you mention a home visit - again, a nice idea but surely you would be suprised if you found out after the event rather than before - imagine if someone was babysitting your child and when you got back you found out the teacher had been round. That's my point.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 19/06/2013 09:39

What difference would it have made? How could you have prepared her?

You will meet and know the teacher at a later date.

wankerchief · 19/06/2013 09:39

Prepare her for meeting someone?

sbe said hello to herr new teacher and had a chat. Get a grip.

SoupDragon · 19/06/2013 09:41

Yes, it would have been nice to be told it was going to happen but your DD doesn't need to be prepared and it isn't unacceptable for a teacher to go and meet the new intake. You will be leaving your DD in this person's care for a large portion of the day - what is there to be worried or angry about?

mrsjay · 19/06/2013 09:41

your point isn't valid though we get your point but we think it is a bit bonkers a teacher popped into nursery to see her future pupil there would have been no meeting the teacher would have said hello to her and watch her play or get her to show teacher some of the nursery toys,

redskyatnight · 19/06/2013 09:42

You've missed the point though OP - the point is not to discuss it with your DD and make a big deal of it.

DD was (presumably) happily playing at nursery with no worries about anything. In comes a visitor, who gets chatting to DD, DD talks back in a relaxed fashion. Turns out the nice visitor is her new teacher!

No worrying about it before hand for DD, not getting stressed about being in a new environment, no parental chats about how exciting it is ... just a normal everyday thing.

(at least that's what DS's teacher visit at nursery was like, DS was so unphased by it, he didn't even think it worth a mention, I only found out from other parents).

SoupDragon · 19/06/2013 09:42

imagine if someone was babysitting your child and when you got back you found out the teacher had been round. That's my point.

But a house is private space and a person needs to be invited in (especially if they are a vampire). A nursery is not the same.

JerseySpud · 19/06/2013 09:42

To be honest you sound a bit demanding precious over this....

moogy1a · 19/06/2013 09:43

So the new teachewr came to her room to say hello? I don't get the problem.
Did you really want a written letter telling you about it? and why? Does your dd have speech issues which means she can't tell you who her teacher is in September?

sashh · 19/06/2013 09:43

OP

Newsflash

At some time in your daughter's school days one of her teachers will have a day off. It might be sickness, it might be a funeral, it might be a number of things.

But

She will be taught by someone else on that day, and you won't know about it beforehand.

Do you think she will cope?

xylem8 · 19/06/2013 09:44

It's standard practice round here for reception teacher to go into feeder nurseries and meet and observe the children and to speak to their keyworkers.It has to be when the teacher can get away. I am a bit not sure about home visits.I think it would take an awful lot of the teacher's time when she has her existing pupils needs to consider.

Original poster
Pealicious · 19/06/2013 09:44

moogy1a bit of a loon eh? bit rude.
the majority of my friends have had communication from their future schools about meet the teacher days and home or nursery visits.
mrsjay - i am both interested and excited for my daughter. I can't see why the school couldn't have let me know that this was on the cards. In terms of preparation i would have liked to be able to tell my LO that Mrs X Y or Z was going to come and see her.
The nursery told me that the school had assured them that I was going to be informed which was why they didn't tell me ahead of time.
I take a keen interest in what goes on in my kid's lives - didn't think that was a crime...?

OP posts:
mrsjay · 19/06/2013 09:44

But a house is private space and a person needs to be invited in (especially if they are a vampire). A nursery is not the same.

arf vampire Grin

Lancelottie · 19/06/2013 09:45

I think this is part of the mental adjustment you need to make to having a school child, OP. Things happen to them in school someone comes in and gives a talk or observes a lesson or brings in a pet komodo dragon and you don't necessarily get to know about it beforehand.

It can be a bit of a shock at first when you realise your child knows half the street better than you do!

ReallyTired · 19/06/2013 09:45

"I guess my issue is that had I known ahead of time I could have discussed it wiht my daughter and prepared her for it."

Schools and pre schools often have relationships that go beyond any one particular child. For example my children's primary school consults with the local secondary school for advice on what to do with gifted and talented children, even if the gifted and talented children are not going to that particular school.

Prehaps the nursery prepared her for the visit. It sounds lovely that the school has made the time and effort to visit a nursery with only one child going.

Surely its better for the teacher to see your daughter naturally rather than whipped up into a nervous frenzy.

Owllady · 19/06/2013 09:47

I agree with soupdragon tbh
I think they should have mentioned it but it's not actually a big deal

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