To think that a classic ghost story, with classic ingredients, DOES NOT INCLUDE A TOWER!

[Salmotrutta]

Towers with secret doors are FOR FAIRYTALES.

Not ghost stories.

FGS.

We didnt mention the locked door.

There's always a locked door that must not be opened.

... but is found opened on its own in the morning ...

And a faint remaining scent of a woman's perfume... although no woman has lived in the house since the owner's wife died mysteriously many years ago.

Salmo, you know you said you were going to vomit on my ceiling? Well either you did, or the stain's come back through on its own after 9 coats of paint.

Ah, well now, maybe it's like the bloodstain on the floor at Holyrood Palace...

Poor David Rizzio (secretary to Mary Queen of Scots) stabbed to death.

The stain has been washed, and washed but it won't go away...

OK, well I've added another two coats of matt and that's it.

I've got a creepy staircase skirting board to pollyfiller - there's a crack running up it like a tear in the fabric of space and time.

Stay away from The Crack Liney!!

It sucked me in, Salmo, to a strange universe where my teenage DD came out of her room and sat at the top of the stairs chatting to me nicely.

Loving that SP wrote 'what's her name with the long hair and lives in a tower ' and the immediate post after by LineRunner was 'Edgar Allen Po (e) '

God yes, it was a pissed joke about 'The Po' that went a bit strangely wrong.

OMG Liney

A parallel world...

I am now imagining a parallel universe written by Edgar Allen Po where there are a lot of pursed lips.

And sidelong glances.

And tutting.

And bosom- hoiking a la Les Dawson.

What bout those freaky china doll things?

And I wonder if mumsnet towers is haunted?

And feeling sorry for our children.

My children feel sorry for my children tbh.

Dolls are spooky - especially collections of old dolls with their horrible little teeth.