Im the oldest out of 6 children. My mother suffered an abusive relationship for about 17 years as she was too frightened to leave.
She asked for help from every department and organisation in the country over a 10 year period and it took her husband (I refuse to call him my father) walking some 45 miles down trian tracks looking for the Chariots of Fire for anyone to intervene and section him under the mental health act. He was still discharged (despite my mother begging for him not to be) back to the family home.
She could not use hormonal contraception. She had the coil fitted for 5 years but it eventually caused a massive bleed. 3 children were planned, the youngest 3 not and she had no choice at their conception. Its difficult to defend yourself against an abusive partner when you have young children asleep.
Fast forwards 5 years from the birth of my oungest sister and things finally came to a head and she left with us all. For a time, around 2 years I think she was a single mother with 6 children in a council house on benefits. It was the happiest she had been for many years.
She did return to work part time and then full time when the younger children were older.
Out of the 6 of us all of us have made good lives for ourselves. We all have children of our own with loving partners and husbands. We all either work ourselves or are fortunate enough to have partners that can support us whilst we raise our young families. Its not all been a bed of roses for all of us. We have all had our ups and downs and times when a little help was needed.
My mum continues to work full time in her minimum wage job and has done for about 15 years. However menial it is, as she says, its work and I pay my own way.
So there are reasons, valid reasons for people to find themselves in difficult situations. But its not the situation that is the difference between being a 'scrounger' or a 'layabout' or a 'benefits cheat'. Its how you choose to react to those situations and what you achieve in the end that makes the difference.
People are let down by society and the system. People let themselves down. But until you know the full story, until you have walked a mile in someones shoes, don't judge.
One day it could be you relying on others to drag you back up.