Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To feel a little sorry for the 7 children benefits Mum.

999 replies

MilgramsLittleHelper · 12/06/2013 11:19

www.itv.com/daybreak/hottopics/benefits-mum/

Is just seems like another bit of benefit bashing to me.

I know she shouldn't have had children she couldn't afford, but what hope of improving her lot???

OP posts:
ItsallFeegle · 12/06/2013 15:29

Sorry, trying to see to DS here too Grin

Don't men have any input?

Gah! Your a bloody misogynist too.

Such a simple person, with simple solutions to complex problems.

Och I promise that's me and you finished, this time! Hmm

Davsmum · 12/06/2013 15:31

Its really quite amusing how many people on here KNOW this woman - KNOW how she thinks, KNOW her motives.
They KNOW what she is capable of and what she should have done or not done.

In reality - they know very little but like to judge her anyway.

Bonquers · 12/06/2013 15:33

I have 5 kids and we have to spread our cash thinner. Just as benefits claiments will should they choose to have more. Surely thst's completely obvious?

dreamingofsun · 12/06/2013 15:33

davsmum - but what do you expect people to do? They are going to make assumptions about her, and judge her positively or negatively depending on their view point. There wouldn't be a thread otherwise, and to be honest, she has brought judgement onto her self a bit by agreeing to the piece on the Daily Mail

ItsallFeegle · 12/06/2013 15:33

dreaming - REALLY? Oh my fucking word, some of you are proper idiots vile.

Do you have any idea how much it costs to raise a child in care?

BaconKetchup · 12/06/2013 15:34

dreaming that is a rather unpleasant thing to say.

BeauNidle · 12/06/2013 15:34

Look - The way it is at the moment, the more kids you have the more benefits, the larger house etc you get. Unfortunately in the society we now live in, people are having more children for this very reason.

So the only way forward it to cap the amount of children who are to be supported financially by the state. (not ones already born but future of course)
And none of this constant demand for larger housing.

Plenty of large families live quite normally in 3 bedroom houses. That is neither child abuse, nor neglect.

Those who say that this is not the way forward are not coming up with any other solutions.

It is quite refreshing to see how the tide has turned on MN with regard to this subject. Years ago it was only those who dared to speak up against funding a lifestyle of benefits that got a right old bashing. Yet now there seem to be more people sick to death of it, and are now speaking their mind. Quite right too.

Davsmum · 12/06/2013 15:35

Very good Bonquers - so if something happens to you or your family and you cannot for whatever reason ( health/death/divorce) work,..should we not help you?

Bonquers · 12/06/2013 15:35

itsall I mention women because they tend to choose babies and sahm whilst men tend to remain in work if they start off like that.

Davsmum · 12/06/2013 15:37

dreamingofsun.

I expect people to stop making things up in their head. I expect people not to make judgements they are not qualified to make based on what they do not know.

ItsallFeegle · 12/06/2013 15:37

Beau - I'm with you on cutting cloth to accommodate.

Nobody is saying we think this woman is living an ideal.

But...I want change. I want social change and opportunity for families to better themselves.

dreamingofsun · 12/06/2013 15:38

itallfeegle - i didn't say 'care', i said adopted. And yes I agree its not a very nice thing to have to say, but in reality the child probably would be better brought up in a 2 parent family with fewer sibblers, with more individual attention and at least one parent working. It used to be the norm in the old days, but nowadays there always seems to be the assumption that the mother is best placed to care for a child.

Bonquers · 12/06/2013 15:38

davsmum you wont need to help me as it happens but we help everyone at where they enter the system but nofunding for more kids on benefits no.

thezebrawearspurple · 12/06/2013 15:38

There's absolutely no excuse for having seven children that you cannot provide for, this isn't a case of someone falling on hard times, it's a case of someone who chose to breed far more children than she and her sperm donors can afford with the expectation of the taxpayer funding everything. My sympathy is with the children, the mother and her sperm donors should be sterilised.

Bonquers · 12/06/2013 15:39

itsall genuinely what more help do you want to see?

Ashoething · 12/06/2013 15:40

Oh here we go-its all the wishy washy lets not judge the poor soul nowHmm We judge and are judged every single day-that's life Im afraid. As for the oh well you don't know this women comments-well neither do you but it doesn't seem to have stopped you projecting the notion that she is ill-educated,abused and downtrodden has it?

ItsallFeegle · 12/06/2013 15:40

AND I want people to stop fucking bashing women for the lives they find themselves living!

She's only as responsible as the man/ men who she lay with.

ByTheWishingWell · 12/06/2013 15:41

Bonquers

So for people to have the option of spreading their cash a bit thinner, you must agree that child benefit for the first two children should be higher than the bare minimum required per child? Obviously there would need to be a bit of a cushion to ensure that none of the children (however many there might be) ever went without actual necessities.

Kaluki · 12/06/2013 15:41

Forced adoption?? Ae we going back in time?
I suppose while we are at it we could force those earning under £20k a year to be sterilised in case they have babies they can't feed???
Un-fucking-believable!!!

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 12/06/2013 15:42

But do we just leave the extra children to starve and say 'sorry, your parents have met their breeding quota'?

Original poster
MilgramsLittleHelper · 12/06/2013 15:43

Don't men have any input?

Well I'm a guy and have had mine :)

OP posts:
Ashoething · 12/06/2013 15:43

Bollocks she is. At the end of the day its women who fall pregnant not men so Im afraid the buck stops with her. It may not be fair but again-that's life. She didn't just find herself living this life by accident-don't make me laugh! She purposely chose to have 7 kids because she knew someone else would pay for them and is now whinging because her gravy train is coming to an end.Good.

Davsmum · 12/06/2013 15:43

Ashoething
I have not said she is any of those things. I have said I don't know.
People who assume and judge when they don't know are dangerous people.
History shows how dangerous people like that are.
Current events show dangerous that sort of thinking is.

Of course you can judge when you know the facts. Thing is - none of you do. But don't let that stop you.

dreamingofsun · 12/06/2013 15:43

kaluki - could you point out where i said 'forced' please as I can't spot it and i don't believe i said that?

BaconKetchup · 12/06/2013 15:44

dreaming you have made a really stupid comment, now everyone on this thread disapproving of this woman's lifestyle will be labelled as someone wanting forced adoption etc

Swipe left for the next trending thread