To feel a little sorry for the 7 children benefits Mum.

[MilgramsLittleHelper]

www.itv.com/daybreak/hottopics/benefits-mum/

Is just seems like another bit of benefit bashing to me.

I know she shouldn't have had children she couldn't afford, but what hope of improving her lot???

ffs.

I've heard it all now, her dc or some of them should be taken into care and adopted.
This is just fuckin vile.

itallfeegle - i didn't say 'care', i said adopted. And yes I agree its not a very nice thing to have to say, but in reality the child probably would be better brought up in a 2 parent family with fewer sibblers, with more individual attention and at least one parent working. It used to be the norm in the old days, but nowadays there always seems to be the assumption that the mother is best placed to care for a child.

There dreaming - copied and pasted exactly as you said it!!!

Bonquers - absolutely nothing from the likes of you, thanks for offering though. You keep skinning those puppies for fashion accessories.

zebra - how do you know she chose to have all those children?

dreaming - what the fuck do you think the adoption system is about? Ummm care? Again, do you know how much your perfect disgusting solution would cost the taxpayer every financial year?

Who the fuck are you to say people need to have their babies stolen away and put up for adoption? Where would all these adoptive parents come from?

bacon - i don't believe i did say 'forced'. I stand corrected if I did. I still say that adoption is potentially better for a child - and to be honest i haven't heard anyone argue against that

Well something has got to give. This country simply is unable to continue to fund those who have massive families, never work, and then bloody moan about it.

There is x amount in the pot. That pot has to pay welfare, armed forces, police, education, the nhs and gawd knows what else.

More and more cuts are happening in other areas in order to keep the welfare state going.

Have you seen the waiting lists for operations in this country. The wait for referrals to speciallists for treatment. The types of cancer drugs for example which are known to work, yet cannot be used because they are too expensive?

The armed forces on the front line without the correct equipement. Teachers trying to educate classes of 35 plus. A couple of police cars serving an area of many many miles.

I know where i'd rather see it spent.

Forcing her to have the kids adopted is nonsensical of course-its not the kids fault. However I don't think the kids would be suffering if they had to move to a smaller house and lose the car-something the mother seems loathe to do

kaluki - thanks for cutting and pasting - i found my thread OK, but I still can't spot 'forced'?

I don't think it is "benefit bashing" to say that some people who are on benefits have an entitled attitude. Of course, some people not on benefits have an entitled attitude too. I think this lady could downsize and also think she was exaggerating the issue of childcare, it's not like they're very young children who would need all day childcare. That said, she had a point about considering individual situations. I am against the benefit cap, I think it will harm vulnerable people - children, older adults and disabled/chronically sick people.

Bollocks she is. At the end of the day its women who fall pregnant not men so Im afraid the buck stops with her.
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What a ridiculous comment - no wonder men can shirk from their responsibilities when you have outdated and sexist views like that!

But how much money is really being spent on giant feckless families? We can tell this woman that she has to retroactively cut her cloth but we can't ask pensioners if they actually need winter fuel payment?

Milligram - I meant in context to Bonquers post re; why are all these girls leaving school and getting themselves it seems pregnant?

I'm actually so fucking pleased you're a man, no idea why. Feels refreshing, I suppose

At the end of the day its women who fall pregnant not men so Im afraid the buck stops with her.

Just...wow. Ashoething, do you really not think that men should take equal responsibility for the children they've conceived? Women generally don't just 'fall pregnant' without any input from a man.

Its not sexist-its a fact. I agree it is not a very palatable one but there it is. Sadly men can choose to walk away. Of course they should be made to pay.

It has been suggested that she had 6 of her dcs with her ex dh-does it mention in the article what he did for a living for them to afford to have 6 kids? Im assuming he must be minted?...

zebra - see that forced sterilisation? I'll be right behind you in your campaign, as soon as you show everyone that you're a good example!

stopping HB at a 3 bedroom house would stop her having the last one.

her room
girls room
boys room

I wouldn't be leaving the responsibility of my reproductive health to a man no. But I am forgetting this women fell pregnant 7 times accidently or because she wasn't given free access to free contraception according to some posters on here. Again

Its not sexist-its a fact. I agree it is not a very palatable one but there it is. Sadly men can choose to walk away.
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As long as you believe that - you give these men power to walk away without a backward glance.

If she had walked out on him, he would be all 'sad faced' in the Daily Mail as a single father struggling to do hi best by his kids.

Its basic biology av-what are you failing to grasp about that? You accuse others on here of making massive assumptions about this women but aren't you guilty of doing the same thing. She chose to have 7 kis because ultimately she was the one who was pregnant-she could have chosen to abort any of them but clearly didn't. So yes she did have a choice.

Bacon - not at all. You and many other posters are offering your reasoned argument and I, for one, won't be tarring you with the 'crazy' brush that has so obviously affected others....

Don't split hairs dreaming. We all know what was meant by your comment "It used to be the norm in the old days, but nowadays there always seems to be the assumption that the mother is best placed to care for a child"
I agree that this woman doesn't need a six bed house and probably could do more to look for work, and having the seventh child was not the best idea but there are other ways of dealing with the problems - affordable child care, lower rents, making absent fathers accountable for their children. Not taking children away from their mothers and sending them away to 'better families'

Ashoe - go find a DA site. Educate yourself a little tiny bit, you crazy!

she didn't learn from DH not paying for his DC.
and had another child with someone else who doesn't pay either.

they are all v irresponsible and selfish.

Want to talk about knowing? I've been called a scrounger for living on benefits, and a gold-digger for choosing to marry a man with a decent job (not amazing pay, but enough).

I had a shit childhood. My mum didn't work, then my parents divorced and she was on and off benefits for years. She thought the world owed her a living, she would quit jobs just because she didn't like someone she worked with. She constantly tore me down, telling me I would never amount to anything. Obviously, as a teenager, I believed her. I left school with mediocre GCSEs and went straight into unreliable temp work.

Three years later I fell into a relationship with an emotionally and financially abusive man. He didn't want me to work, so I quit. When I fell pregnant he insisted I go through with it, while shagging someone else because being pregnant made me unattractive to him. When I found out about it and confronted him, he hit me. When I left, he told me I was worthless and that no other man would ever want me.

I have applied for literally thousands of jobs, but no joy. My self esteem went through the floor. I seriously considered suicide.

I got lucky when I met DP. He pulls me out of my darkest moments, dragged my self esteem up to a point where I don't feel worthless. Encouraged me to do my degree. A lot of women with similar histories don't have that. I wouldn't be where I am now without him.

I dare you to judge me. And I feel very sorry for that woman. It sometimes takes another to show you how much you can really achieve.

Gravy train?!

I am leaving this thread now as I can virtually see people frothing with excitement at this ladies misfortune.

My final note is, as far as I can see this lady wasn't asking for more, just to not have what she currently gets taken away from her.
She has not got pregnant by herself, nor has she been on full benefits since the birth of her first child, she has been deserted by the father of her children and has a child with SN.

It is quite reasonable to say that this could happen to any of us, maybe not everyone has 7 children, but we would all struggle in our own ways in her position.
We are all capable of ending up in dire circumstances and we need to remember this.

How would you like to be treated if your Husband/partner decided to up and leave you to look after 7 children, one with SN.
I would hope that society could see that I would need support to do the best job of raising my children.
Instead we vilify women who are left in this situation, who are trying within the best of their personal capabilities, why people can not see how futile this attitude is I can not understand.

As for giving children up for adoption,,,, well that's a slippery slope and not far off that is killing children at birth simply for saving what is pennies in comparison to what the major corporations avoid each year in tax.

Capping benefits for 2 children will not stop abusive men forcing women to get pregnant and carry more babies.
Drug addicts who have babies taken away at birth carry on having more and more in the hope that they can keep this one.
If you think people actively decided to have half a football team load of children for the sake of an extra couple of ££ a month then you are quite the simpleton.