to think this is pathetic and to be losing my patience? (re: seating at wedding)

[CartwrightMiss]

My partner has two brothers and both will be ushers (getting married late July)

Both brothers/ushers will be sat on the front row at the church on the grooms side along with other close members of the family. Both brothers have partners, both are invited but neither are going to be sat on the front row - as there just really isn't enough room.

Both girlfriends get on really well and will be sat together in the church. BIL is complaining that he wants to sit next to his girlfriend and how unfair it is.

They will be sat together during the meal and can be together for the whole day, the girlfriend will be sat with other girlfriend at the church so not alone at all and yet he is still complaining.

Starting to lose my temper. Aibu?

Totally NBU - you seem accommodating - he seems like an arse!

I love a wedding thread!

YANBU. BiL to-be is being an arse. Ignore or explain to tell him just how bridezilla-ish you could be if you really wanted...

YANBU, tell him to get a grip, or if he really wants to sit with her then he can do so, but it won't be on the front row.

No, YANBU.

He needs to get a grip of himself as sitting elsewhere for approx 1 hour will not kill him... although you might

YANBU

Oh, ffs, now I've heard it all. Bridezilla/groomzilla/mumzilla/guestzilla and now usherzilla

YANBU he needs to grow up.

I think I would be tempted to say 'ok that's fine, you don't have to be an usher and then you can sit with her.'

He is being silly. Surely they can sit separately for a short time?!

When my cousin got married her sister was bridesmaid and brought her boyfriend. They were 18. He managed to sit away from her in the church and in the reception. And he didn't know a single person there other than his girlfriend. He managed (and got a lot of respect from the rest of the family and we were all really pleased when they got married a few years later).

Your BIL is being absolutely pathetic. Really, really silly. If I were his gf I would be a bit embarrassed. If she were a bridesmaid he wouldn't expect to walk down the aisle with her or stand at the altar with her would he? How ridiculous!

@ 'usherzilla'!!

Is your BIL having her help him in his ushering duties?

Surely the ushers need to sit at the back to open the doors for latecomers and hand out the hymn books / service sheets?

Yanbu. Are they joined at the hip?? Crazy.

We have a similar issue with DPs best man and his gf. We had to put the wedding back for various reasons and in the meantime best man has shown himself to be an utter twat in other ways, so hes not best man no more.

YANBU at all. Bil is being an arse.

Since when is there a seating plan for the church?
YABB (YAB Bridezilla)

YANBU. It's standard for immediate family to be in the front row - especially if they're in the Wedding Party and for their partners to be on the row behind them. Tell him to bog off. Or sit at the back as Mamaabc suggests.

What is it with people who can't be separated from their partners for a short time (baring mental health / SN / physical health issues as per normal on MN!).

If it genuinely about bum space on the pew, ask him who he suggests you bump off the front row to accommodate his gf.

His own mother, perhaps?

Chippy

Most weddings are not a free for all. Otherwise there would be no need for ushers at all...

So why don't you have one brother plus partner in the front row and the other pair in the next row? I really can't see why this matter that much.

I disagree!
It is lovely to go to someone else's wedding and, when they get to all the soppy, lovey-dovey stuff, have a cosy little "remember when it was us " moment.

I went to a wedding recently where the congregation was split on gender lines. The holy man was doing his version of "Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder" to a congregation consisting largely of married folks forced to sit asunder. Bizarre

I was invited to a wedding where my other half was best man. He sat up front, I was at the back. Yes, I felt like the odd one out when the vicar got to one part and started saying things like 'look at the person you came with etc' cos I couldn't, but it was for something like half an hour. If he's an usher he's going to have other things to do rather than be by his girlfriends side all day surely?

YANBU

How can an adult be so feeble? If he can't be away from your partner for under an hour, he should take a look at himself. Lord alone knows how she can have sex with such a drip.

Leave his girlfriend where she is but stick him in the back row near the door. Idiot, can't he sit by himself without his gf for support?

It depends. Maybe it looks as if the gfs are not seen as part of the family and BIL is upset for that reason? Nothing to do with being unable to be apart from her.

I went to a wedding where the groom's brother's fiancée (getting married a few months later) was told she couldn't be in the family photos as she wasn't family. I think I'd have been unhappy about that.

Tell him he's welcome to relinquish his usher duties and sit further back with his girlfriend.

If he wants to sit with his girlfriend, fine, but he can't sit in the front row with her. DH was best man a couple of years ago and we coped with sitting apart. I admit that when DS1 (4) dragged his chair and plate over to the end of the top table so he could sit with DH, I didn't go and get him though! He was a page boy and the only person who minded him sitting there was DH, who had been counting on a child free day .