To leave my DS with strangers while I go to the loo?

[MeerkatMerkin]

DS is 2 and a half and in the buggy. Big city park, mummy needs relief. There was a queue to the ladies, this is just two cubicles and a sink - DS' (double twin) buggy too wide to go into the loo and not block the other toilet or sinks. So I ask the rest of the queue (some women with children too) to keep an eye while I run in and out.

When I return from peeing (30 seconds?) a woman in her 30s with an older toddler told me I was irresponsible and that my child could have been abducted or worse. She hadn't been in the queue as far as I'd seen before.

AIBU to leave DS in the buggy with mothers watching him while I take a pee? Or am I some kind of terrible neglectful wench? I don't think I am BU but I might be wrong and would appreciate opinion for next time.

Lalala

My sister was on holiday abroad and went into a public loo. As she walked in a woman burst out of one of the cubicles, thrust her baby into my sister's arms and ran back into the cubicle.

Good thing my sister wasn't bursting to go too!

I wouldn't have asked a queue of people to watch my daughter under those circumstances but only because I am rubbish at asking strangers for favours. I would happily watch someone else's child though.

YANBU

"What if you are longer than expected" ROFLMAO!
Then the only result would be a few more crossed legs in the queue of ladies keeping an eye out for you.

Longer than expected.... a shriek from the cubicle "Ahhhh! I seem to have Mislaid my Mooncup! Just give me a minute... (fumble)" or maybe "I won't be a tick, I'm sure I had a tampon up there somewhere...." or even "OMFG! I think I'm going to give birth and I Didn't Even Know I Was Pregnant. Call Take A Break if you've got the number handy!!".

I think you are reasonable to leave your child with other mums. They would pay attention, I would if someone trusted me with their child. For one thing I would feel honoured to be asked and would then be vigilant with the child. I would probably try to entertain the toddler so he didn't get upset his mum was gone for a minute. I imagine the rest of the queue would feel the same.

In the olden days when My dds were toddlers and babies women even strange women helped each other in loo situations, none of my babies were abducted I despair sometimes imo you did nothing wrong

The worlds gone mad with some of the reactions on here. Of course YANBU.

And I thought I was too paranoid about some things..

Well I'm feeling grumpy and argumentative today so I'd just like to point out another reason for taking the toddler in the toilet with you.

There is just no reason NOT to take the toddler in the toilet with you. It's no big deal so why even bother to think about whether to ask the queuing people or to wonder about whether it's unsafe to leave the toddler outside the cubicle? It doesn't mean the world's gone mad. It just means you're out with a toddler so they accompany you, whether you're in a park, a shop or a public toilet. It's only the buggy that's too big for the cubicle, not the toddler.

Jan what if he's asleep? It's a bit unsporting taking a raging, just woken up toddler into a ladies toilet. Think of the screaming sound reverberating off the walls. Poor little nipper.

I would've done exactly the same thing. The idea of a queue of people abducting my child wouldn't even enter my head.

world has gone mad.

dd1 is 18. when she was a baby, i would always ask a random nice looking person to keep an eye for the few minutes it took for me to have a wee.

dd3 is 5- when she was a baby there was usually a loo big enough to accomodate the buggy. if there wasnt, i would not have worried about parking her for 2 mins outside a loo. i wouldnt bat an eyelid if someone asked me to watch their child whilst they nipped to the loo.

its thinking like this that leads to people asking whether its ok for their 11 year old to walk 200 yards to the shop with a mobile phone, distress flare and hi vis jacket.

'There is just no reason NOT to take the toddler in the toilet with you'

Oh there really is! Here are some;

to avoid said toddler

• opening the door mid-wee
• looking under the neighbouring cubicle and waving/saying hello to the person next door
• saying in a loud, clear voice 'mummy, you have a very hairy bottom', 'your wee-wee smells YUCK' and other assorted comments
• touching (or in my toddlers case licking) the floor, the wall, the loo seat, the loo brush, your bottom etc.

• to be quick. Taking the toddler out of the pram; 30 seconds, convincing them to get back in (and failing) and then wrestling them back in; at least 5 mins.

• to avoid the squash of having two people in a cubicle made for one very small person.

• because you like to wee in privacy

• to avoid your pram being stolen.

'its thinking like this that leads to people asking whether its ok for their 11 year old to walk 200 yards to the shop with a mobile phone, distress flare and hi vis jacket.'

literally lol

I would have done the same as you opi. IMO YADNBU, and as for saying that there is no reason not to get him out of the pushchair, I know that my toddler is an absolute nightmare to get back in once out - a lot of stress for the sake of a quick wee!

I've got a luvverly box of grips here, for them as needs them.

X-post with lalala!

its thinking like this that leads to people asking whether its ok for their 11 year old to walk 200 yards to the shop with a mobile phone, distress flare and hi vis jacket

Yanbu at all.

Personally I wouldn't do it myself. I would take and have taken both my ds's into tiny cubicles with me. If I have dd too I hunt a disabled loo!

Another unexpected delay: "Aaargh! I can't stop weeing! I knew I shouldn't have had that last flat white...".
As for reasons why not to take toddler in, try toddler trying to slide out under the door. And getting stuck. And scrabbling frantically about while you try to drag him back by the ankles. On a minging floor.

YANBU. The woman who 'drive by parented' (excellent phrase) was. And I speak as someone who had to entrust 6wk old dd to stranger in motorway toilets to help ds balance to do a poo.

Life with two smalls in public toilets would be enormously helped by those fold down highchair seat things on cubicle walls. Saw them a lot in Japan (pre dc) and thought they looked a great idea.

Mind you, I've also left 3.5 yr old ds watching 4mth old dd in toilets while I wee'd, told him to sing to her while I was in and didn't lock the door.

FFS, having a child is not a disability!
I'd be more than happy to watch anyone's child.

another reason not to take a toddler in a public loo mummy are you needing a poo you are pumping like you need a poo

mrsjay

I wouldn't unless my toddler was asleep in the pushchair, but I don't see anything wrong with doing it. The first time I took DS out after he was born, I had to flag down a random passer-by in the street to hold him while I rescued DD from the climbing frame where she was stuck, as the baby was in a sling and I had nowhere to put him.