To leave my DS with strangers while I go to the loo?

[MeerkatMerkin]

DS is 2 and a half and in the buggy. Big city park, mummy needs relief. There was a queue to the ladies, this is just two cubicles and a sink - DS' (double twin) buggy too wide to go into the loo and not block the other toilet or sinks. So I ask the rest of the queue (some women with children too) to keep an eye while I run in and out.

When I return from peeing (30 seconds?) a woman in her 30s with an older toddler told me I was irresponsible and that my child could have been abducted or worse. She hadn't been in the queue as far as I'd seen before.

AIBU to leave DS in the buggy with mothers watching him while I take a pee? Or am I some kind of terrible neglectful wench? I don't think I am BU but I might be wrong and would appreciate opinion for next time.

I think she was being mean. Other mothers with children are less likely to kidnap another child because they know how hard work they are. She should be understandable and be less critical.

YANBU,

I would have done the same in your situation.

I wouldn't but that's just a personal choice I suppose so Yanbu

YANBU, you were just inside the cubicle, your DS was 5ft away and with a group of mothers and children, in his buggy. He was perfectly safe.

YA soooooooo definitely NBU

I would have done that without a seconds thought.

I've done this a lot, no need to now as I have a teenager but the responses on mumsnet to perfectly normal situations are amazing, I have never come across people who have such attitudes in RL. It is very, very sad that there are so many people who don't believe in a sense of community, yes, horrible things might happen but the chances are absolutely miniscule.

YANBU, the woman sounds deranged!

the chances of anything happening might be minuscule, but personally no, I wouldn't leave my dd in the care of strangers. why couldn't he go in the cubicle with you?

I wouldn't do it, no.

But I wouldn't say anything to you if I had been there.

The chances of him being abducted by the queue are probably about the same of him falling into the loo and drowning so you're damned either way! There is probably more chance of him slipping on a wet floor, falling back, hitting his head and dying from the head injury.

I don't think YWBU but I would have taken him in the cubicle with me and left the buggy outside and I think that's the sensible thing to do.
It probably increases the chance of the buggy being stolen but it is safer for the child.

And if you can use a toilet in 30 seconds and be back out of the cubicle door again, I'm impressed!

I did this occasionally when my son was small, if I couldn't find a disabled toilet with enough room for the pushchair as well.

I don't understand why people wouldn't do this. Is it possible or the whole queue of women to suddenly decide to join forces to abduct your child.
Surely, the worst that can happen is that your DC gets upset for a moment, and even then, you can just shout from the cubicle to reassure them.

LaLaLa i was thinking of the falling in and drowning scenario too!

all sorts of terrible things could happen to him in the toilets Bacon! What if he touched the seat and then put his hands in his mouth before you could stop him and died from the infection he would inevitably catch? Or what if you got into the cubicle and there was an axe murderer hiding in there?

5mad, funnily enough I don't. I don't have a car :)

Actually I think YABU.
Personally I would have flume my grits off with gay abandon and wee'd next to the queue whilst maintaining eye contact with my toddler loudly parenting about stranger danger.

I wouldn't, it's not someone else's job to hang around watching your child. What if you are longer than expected.

I always take 2 and 3 year old in with me, as does dh. Although nowadays they usually use the toilet at the same time also so need to be in there.

(have memories of peeing with newborn in sling and non walking 15 month old plonked on travel changing mat on floor to sit)!! - now toddlers they just stand and giggle and poke each other

'What if you are longer than expected'

If you get sudden onset diarrhoea? What unexpected events befall you in the toilet?

Presumably you could shout out to the queue 'I have been hit by a sudden onset of the shits, please pass my toddler into me, lest one of you kidnap him!'

LaLaLaLaElmosSong

I despair at some of the reactions here, let alone the reaction of that stupid woman. You left your child with a GROUP of mothers keeping an eye out. They weren't all going to suddenly change their minds about needing the loo and run away, they weren't going to go into a huddle and plot kidnapping. There isn't going to be a "bystander" effect when they all saw you go into the toilet and will know you when you come out is there.
Grips need to be got.

YANBU, I agree that the chance of him being abducted is probably about the same as some toilet related disaster happening.

However, I would probably have asked the queue to watch the buggy and taken the child with me (unless asleep).

TBH I think the chances of the buggy getting nicked are a lot higher than the toddler getting kidnapped.

You've been drive-by parented, OP. Don't worry about it. You took the risk assessment and it was all fine.