AIBU to not clean to the standards that my near-freak husband seems to expect....

[gettngbetter]

We had a big fight tonight and DH is sleeping in the spare room.

When I came home from work I was in great form as the weather is so good and I was looking forward to both of us doing something with the kids - but DH was a bit grumpy and he put me in a bad mood. He had the day off work and was out with the kids and although he loves spending time with them - I think the stress of it was getting to him. Whenever I said something to him he was giving one word answers.

I was anxious to get going before the sun went down - but DH said he had to load the dishwasher or else he would have to do it when he got home. He thinks he has to do everything and I'm lazy (which is not true)

DH is a neat freak. I like to have the place clean - but I'm prepared to tolerate some clutter if it means I have more time to bring the kids to the park or the playground or read them stories etc. I feel life is to short to be stressing out about having the house immaculate.

When I come home from work in the evenings I always have a list of jobs to do like getting the clothes & bags ready for the next day - making dinner - ironing - picking up the mess from the morning - etc etc. I also spend time reading to the kids. DH works late a lot - often until 10.30 or 11. I never have time for myself to do exercise or relax or anything. It's just endless jobs!!

i feel when DH is giving out about poor him having to do everything that he is implying I'm lazy and dirty!!! He gets a bit annoyed if I leave dirty plates at the sink. When he's working away I let a few dirty plates build up and then I load the dishwasher - is that so bad????

Anyway, after DH was giving out about having to load the dishwasher i told him to cheer up and he marched out to the car with the kids - closing the door - leaving me behind. Then I saw him driving out the gate. I know it was childish but I unloaded the dishwasher and put everything back in the sink and also

I'm in the same situation as snot. Oh is tidy; I am clean.

The thing that drives me insane is that he leaves his plates on top of an empty dishwasher or stacked in the sink.

Dishwasher = the dirty dish cupboard.

He is being a dick.

I work late and nightshift, DP and I share housework. We kerp the place clean and orderly (sort of) But life's too short to stack thr dishwasher instead offing to the park.
You are going to have to have it out with him. How dare he treat you like a skivvy - if he doesn't like it he can cleanup himself.

And op also works - he is being really bloody cheeky.

Littlemissangrypants, that was how I lived with my exH too. Glad to see you refer to him as an ex. Living with someone like that can drive you cuckoo and it can do serious damage to children.

LeQueen, my exH used to come into the kitchen while I cooked and say 'Why can't you ever put anything away?'^ and proceed to put away the ingredients I had taken out of the pantry, all ready to add to whatever dish I was making.. I used to walk away and leave him to it.

My exH's place is a long way from clean now, to the point where I myself itch to get out a hoover and then a mop and then have a good go at the kitchen. He didn't want 'clean' -- he wanted the feeling of having everyone pay attention to him and do things the way he wanted them.