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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder wtf the government expects single parents to do?

208 replies

RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 11:29

I have just been given a place on an access course, as I want to study to become a social worker. I am a single mum to two dc, and I have had a nightmare few years having been in an emotionally abusive relationship, and subsequently had to go to court several times (13 and counting) to face my abusive ex. So I have been earning money where I can but the court thing has taken over my life for the last 18 months or so and because of legal aid taking any money I do earn in contributions, it just hasn't made any sense to earn money, especially with the stress of what has been going on.

I am aware of the changes coming to benefits with the universal credit, which it seems are going to adversely affect the lone parents who are self employed, like me! So I have applied to college as I have inspired by the social workers dealing with my court case, and I want to be able to give my dc a better life. I know it will be a long slog with 4 years of study, but I am determined to do it.

So I just got a place at college, and went to see about getting financial help with childcare and travel costs (the nearest college doing the course I need is 40 miles away). And it turns out that, guess what, the government has scrapped all that financial help, as of this year! I have been told that i can apply to the college for a bursary but this is not going to be very much and unlikely to even cover half of my travel costs. So I have no idea how I am going to survive the year of this course. I'm just so angry that the government are doing everything they can to make it impossible for people to be on benefits, but at the same time they are making it impossible for single parents to study and get into employment! Am I missing something here?

OP posts:
aufaniae · 06/06/2013 17:55

crashdoll you have misunderstood my point. I'm not saying social work is a middle class profession, where did you get that from? Confused

I'm saying in general, it benefits society if people have access to higher education no matter what their income.

expatinscotland · 06/06/2013 17:57

'expat And there is money for higher education, just not for access to HE.'

Aha, I see. I thought you could get loans for access courses. And the OP's problem is childcare and travel and financial help to it. Thought maybe she could increase the loan amount and pay for it that way.

pumpkinsweetie · 06/06/2013 18:01

I can't see how it won't benefit society, as once qualified the government will make money in the taxes deducted from earnings as a sw. It's a no brainer, no job=government gets nothing, low paid job=government gets not a lot , High paid job=governments wins

The government are stupid for not realising qualifications for real jobs would benefit them and the people they would be helping.

Original poster
RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 18:03

Thanks to most of you for some great comments (mostly). Yes it would be lovely if dd's dad suddenly got a 50k job and starting paying proper maintenance but seeing as he's completely chicken oriental its not likely. I really hope the more judgemental posters never have a fall from grace and find themselves in the situation I am in, because I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Thanks to bird's helpful posts I spent the afternoon contacting universities again and getting some good advice, and I am going to see the family support worker at the children's centre nearby to see if I can get some voluntary work experience there.

OP posts:
suzexxx · 06/06/2013 18:03

Sorry i've only read the first page of the thread so might be repeating what other people have said. Could you not do the course over 2 years? I did the Access to Health course to become a nurse and did the course over one year, but i didnt have my son then so it was easy to manage. If you do the course over 2 years you're only in college 1.5 days meaning you have extra days to work part time if you can and do assignments. May be an option for you? Bit of a pain it would take 5 years instead of 4, but it would be worth it at the end.

pumpkinsweetie · 06/06/2013 18:04

I really don't know why someone upthread mentioned the fatherShock, they obviously didn't read the thread properly!

crashdoll · 06/06/2013 18:05

expat There are loans for access courses but the grants and bursaries are far better at university. I did an access course a few years ago and I don't recall any bursaries apart from the college's own fund. I will ask my old coursemates (many of whom were single parents) to see if they got any help.

crashdoll · 06/06/2013 18:06

Rocks - where (roughly) in the UK are you?

CloudsAndTrees · 06/06/2013 18:07

It doesn't benefit society because there will be other people that don't expect their travel costs or their childcare costs to be paid for by society that could do the job equally as well and end up paying the same tax.

The lower paid jobs have to be done by someone, so it may as well be done by people who already need support and simply cannot contribute more.

Allthingspretty · 06/06/2013 18:09

The gov have introduced student loams/finance for lebel three courses. Op read in to it to see if you are eligable

Val007 · 06/06/2013 18:09

Try another course. I did ACCA as a single parent doing up to three jobs at a time and paying childcare out of my wages! No benefits whatsoever! Always had a full time job plus 1-2 part time jobs. I used to buy the textbooks and study like crazy. They cost about £30 each. I coudn't afford the course fees... The exams cost about £60 each (14 of them in total) and the membership fee is about £60 p/a. Cheap as hell. I have a very good job now. My motivation was extremely storng though. Given what I've done... I cannot agree with anyone expecting the government to give them x amount of money for x, y and z. Sorry...

expatinscotland · 06/06/2013 18:15

'It doesn't benefit society because there will be other people that don't expect their travel costs or their childcare costs to be paid for by society that could do the job equally as well and end up paying the same tax.'

I do agree with this. Plenty of young people from low-income backgrounds and working poor face travel barriers and other barriers to accessing higher education but don't moan the government doesn't provide this gratis. IMO, it's completely unfair that one subset of low-income people should get this subsidised and not any other. That's why I had thought, 'Well, get more loans, then.'

Your personal problems are not the government's fault.

Original poster
RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 18:20

It's taken me this long to finally work out what I want to to with my life, and I think my life experiences would make me a good social worker. I still have at least 30 years of working to go and I'm not going to qualified in just 'something' so that I can pay the bills - this is something I am passionate about and I'd like to think that the last few years of crap have not been in vain.

I will do the course this September, I'll find a way somehow. I just think it's incredibly bad timing that withdrawing any financial support for level 3 courses coincides with the government making life as tricky as possible to be on benefits.

OP posts:
Original poster
RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 18:22

Yes expat, so what shall I do then? Stay on benefits for the rest of my life? Or get a really low paid unskilled job where I am still relying on benefits to survive?

OP posts:
Original poster
RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 18:23

Crashdoll I am in somerset

OP posts:
Original poster
RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 18:24

And expat yes if loans were available for this course I would readily take them up. And this thread would be unnecessary.

OP posts:
ARealDame · 06/06/2013 18:25

^It's completely unfair that one subset of low-income people should get this subsidised and not any other.

Your personal problems are not the government's fault.^

Yes, I agree with this, and I am a single parent. But I always thought it was most unfair that single parents who went to university were entitled to all kinds of grants and childcare, whilst their non-parent peers got nothing.

smokinaces · 06/06/2013 18:26

Rocks have you looked at open university and what they have to offer? I am studying part time, with just tutiton loans covered by student loans and fitting it round the children and work. It's hard but possible and for me the only route money and time wise.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/06/2013 18:27

Doing a course does not guarantee a job.

expatinscotland · 06/06/2013 18:28

'Yes expat, so what shall I do then? Stay on benefits for the rest of my life? Or get a really low paid unskilled job where I am still relying on benefits to survive?'

Yes. Why not? Why is that good enough for some people but not you? Plenty of people, including lone parents, have to combine work and study, get loans, etc whilst doing a course and pay or get into debt to cover their expenses. Or move, wait and save, etc. That's life. You find that unfair, I find it unfair that any subset of low-income, lone parent, young person, mature student, what have you, should be entitled to any more 'financial help' than anyone else who is financially disadvantaged.

CloudsAndTrees · 06/06/2013 18:31

You could continue with low paid work and benefits until your children are old enough that they need less childcare. You cold save up for a few years to fund your own travel costs.

Being on benefits now, at the time when your children are at their most dependent, does not mean that you have to be on benefits forever.

Out of all of the years of your life, you are choosing the ones that are the most expensive to do this. It makes no sense when you can't afford it without handouts.

JuliaScurr · 06/06/2013 18:36

www.thereisabetterway.org/top-myths-about-the-crisis

they want to abolish the Welfare State

Original poster
RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 18:40

Expat I am not saying that I am 'too good' for that at all, but how does that lessen my burden on society if I am still reliant on benefits? To pay for my childcare costs for 36 weeks, probably not totalling more than £50 a week because of the early years funding, would mean that I am on to a degree course and training (funded by loans) to becoming a tax payer...surely that would be better than claiming benefits forever more whist working in an unskilled job?

OP posts:
ThePlEWhoLovedMe · 06/06/2013 18:41

Rocks - Have you tired local charities ? Where I live we have a charity who will help with costs towards childcare for people going to college (and helped me out 20 years ago!). I am unsure where you live so wasn't able to do some googling for you.
Also (depending on where you live) you could consider getting a social work assistant job (although very sort after) and the LA may offer the opportunity to do the SW degree work based.

expatinscotland · 06/06/2013 18:44

To pay for my childcare costs for 36 weeks, probably not totalling more than £50 a week because of the early years funding, would mean that I am on to a degree course and training (funded by loans) to becoming a tax payer...surely that would be better than claiming benefits forever more whist working in an unskilled job?

Why would you be claiming benefits and working in an unskilled job forever? Your younger child will very soon go to school FT and not need so much childcare? Low-paid people in unskilled jobs pay tax/NI, too.

You've been offered alternatives by many people on this thread, workrounds, ways to plan, but you want the government to pay for your childcare and travel costs so you can study FT right now.

Well, it would be nice if money grew on trees, too.