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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder wtf the government expects single parents to do?

208 replies

RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 11:29

I have just been given a place on an access course, as I want to study to become a social worker. I am a single mum to two dc, and I have had a nightmare few years having been in an emotionally abusive relationship, and subsequently had to go to court several times (13 and counting) to face my abusive ex. So I have been earning money where I can but the court thing has taken over my life for the last 18 months or so and because of legal aid taking any money I do earn in contributions, it just hasn't made any sense to earn money, especially with the stress of what has been going on.

I am aware of the changes coming to benefits with the universal credit, which it seems are going to adversely affect the lone parents who are self employed, like me! So I have applied to college as I have inspired by the social workers dealing with my court case, and I want to be able to give my dc a better life. I know it will be a long slog with 4 years of study, but I am determined to do it.

So I just got a place at college, and went to see about getting financial help with childcare and travel costs (the nearest college doing the course I need is 40 miles away). And it turns out that, guess what, the government has scrapped all that financial help, as of this year! I have been told that i can apply to the college for a bursary but this is not going to be very much and unlikely to even cover half of my travel costs. So I have no idea how I am going to survive the year of this course. I'm just so angry that the government are doing everything they can to make it impossible for people to be on benefits, but at the same time they are making it impossible for single parents to study and get into employment! Am I missing something here?

OP posts:
Original poster
RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 12:22

Thanks orchardkeeper I will look into that.

OP posts:
Original poster
RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 12:22

My dc will be 3 and 9 in September.

OP posts:
Original poster
RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 12:25

But presumably samandi you had partner to lighten the load etc when it came to looking after dc's etc? I have no help from anyone. I don't think I will be able to save as literally every penny is accounted for, and there is still a shortfall on what I need to live on already.

I will have a look at career development loans, thanks.

OP posts:
8dayweek · 06/06/2013 13:07

Might be worth approaching the Jobcentre if you're claiming Income Support? They could be able to help fund childcare etc, or ask whether they have a system whereby they can refer to Access courses (it differs from region to region, but their referral will mean help with Travel Exp and childcare). But... your IS will end when youngest turns 5 and JSA will be hard/impossible to claim if you're in FTE (so in that respect FTE might be better so you get it done ASAP and don't end up stuck half-way through). Good luck!

arethereanyleftatall · 06/06/2013 13:31

I sympathise with your situation, you are trying to do the right thing, and it must be incredibly hard. But...from the other perspective you want the government (and by that you mean the tax payer, i.e. me) to fund you to study and to fund your children at school. I understand you are currently in a no-win situation, but is it fair to expect others to pay to get you out of it?
Can you not wait, just one year, until your littlest is in school and then study part time/work part time to pay for it?
i know that will be hard, but as I said, I'm not sure its for others to sort out.

KellyElly · 06/06/2013 13:33

Sorry, but it's not just single parents who encounter obstacles on the path to getting qualifications. I had to save up money for fees, move to a different area, work full time to pay the bills as well as studying to be able to afford to do so. Yes but the OP would have to do all that and raise a child alone so how is that comparable?

expatinscotland · 06/06/2013 13:42

Can you not take out more loans to cover child are and travel?

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee · 06/06/2013 13:52

Another one here who sympathises but I also agree with arethereany

I'd love to re-train but can't afford to, as I don't expect anyone else to pay for my wish I won't be looking into it until, if ever, my finances mean I can.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/06/2013 13:55

KellyElly - but OP CHOSE to have children. We can't fund a society whereby people just do whatever they want.

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 06/06/2013 13:56

I agree arethereany it's all about life choices.

PearlyWhites · 06/06/2013 14:02

Yes am sure the op made a "life choice" to become a single parent.

cory · 06/06/2013 14:02

Is it just possible that the OP did not choose for her ex to develop severe MH issues to the point where he cannot contribute to the upkeep of his child? Just a thought.

crashdoll · 06/06/2013 14:05

I also agree that it is not only single parents who are struggling if they want to return to education.

There are childcare grants at university but the OP has chosen a course known for placement and it is a FT course. It is a huge commitment. I'm not quite sure tbh what the OP is asking for extra money for.

AmberLeaf · 06/06/2013 14:11

Yes that 'life choice' of being a single parent!

I sympathise OP. Am finding this all out myself.

Those saying its the same for everyone, no it isn't, because 'everyone' isn't being pressured by the gov to get off benefits.

Good luck OP I hope you find a way round this.

AmberLeaf · 06/06/2013 14:13

The issue is that previously there was much more help/support for people in the OPs position to get educated/qualified/into work/off benefits, then at the same time as huge welfare reform, that help has been cut massively.

Ezza1 · 06/06/2013 14:15

So it boils down to the great British tax payer not wanting their money to be spent on someone intent on bettering themselves.

Which in turn means that once that person qualifies and gains well paid employment they then become the great British tax payer...

Not to mention the fact that a single parents DCs also have a fantastic role model in someone who was willing to study relentlessly then get out to work which in turn will bolster their drive to study well and work for a living...

Good luck OP, I hope there is some help out there for you Thanks

crashdoll · 06/06/2013 14:17

Those saying its the same for everyone, no it isn't, because 'everyone' isn't being pressured by the gov to get off benefits.

That's crap. Many groups of people are being pressure to get off benefits. There is more available to single parents in terms of financial support at university and for childcare - as there rightly should be to promote equality of opportunity.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/06/2013 14:18

I think it's great that OP wants to better herself. But, why not just wait a year?

crashdoll · 06/06/2013 14:18

"So it boils down to the great British tax payer not wanting their money to be spent on someone intent on bettering themselves."

Fee loans, maintenance loans, maintenance grants, childcare grants, university bursaries, access to learning bursaries, NHS social work bursary. Sorry but there is support out there.

FreudiansSlipper · 06/06/2013 14:22

I am a single parent and am very grateful for the support that I get. It is a loan (at university) but I do get help with child care

I think it depends if you are studying full or part time. I have a large loan to pay back but think it is worth it and a few of my friends who are with partners would not get the child care help

I do work too. Look in to it again

AmberLeaf · 06/06/2013 14:26

That's crap. Many groups of people are being pressure to get off benefits

Yes I know its not just single parents, I didn't mean the other groups of people also being pressured to get off benefits.

I mean for example Mrs A who has to pay for her course, but also has the income of Mr A to live on.

It is very different as a single parent, why is this so hard for some to understand?

Birdsgottafly · 06/06/2013 14:30

I did my SW BA as a mature single Mum, as did most people on my course.

There is always a mix on a SW BA, some are care leavers, adoptee's etc.

The funding is good once you get onto a BA.

Are you aware of the eligibility criteria for the Uni's that you want to apply for?

Most want at least 200 hours of working with a group who has, or may had SW involvement.

Most people in your circumstances are happy to spend a few years working upto be able to study, so they save and re-arrange their lives to accomodate this.

I took a HA house in a rubbish area and worked extra on agencies, manly night shifts, to be able to afford to study.

Access is slow, you are, in reality only in part time, many do the English/Maths/IT, seperate, as you need a C grade within three years of starting Uni, for most Uni's.

I know people who have applied every year for years, to be able to start a BA, for every 25 places there are at least 500 applications.

People do not realise that it is a degree that you have to really compete and work for.

Birdsgottafly · 06/06/2013 14:34

"Fee loans, maintenance loans, maintenance grants, childcare grants, university bursaries, access to learning bursaries, NHS social work bursary. Sorry but there is support out there."

They are just loans, though.

However they are counted as income and these means that you cannot often claim HB whilst taking out these loans.

I often question why, any other type of loan isn't then, i could lend 5k and say its for a car and still get HB, but lend 5k for my fees and i do not.

OP, i think that you will have to accept that you will have to wait, but if your commitment is as it should be, to do SW, then you will be happy to do so.

pumpkinsweetie · 06/06/2013 14:39

Unfortunetly this government has no care for 'normal' people and if anything are deadly set against single parents-very wrong imo.
My mother bought us up on her own, she worked full-time with the help of tax creds, the same tax creds which they are turning into the dreaded universal credits which i cannot see how they will help anyone and further more small businesses.
It was stated the government were going to make people and small business fit in atleast 35 hours, near enough impossible for most and even harder for single parents.
Lets hope some positive changes are made to single parents soon

Original poster
RocksThatIGot · 06/06/2013 14:49

Thanks birds. And the others who seem to get what I am saying! I know I will be fine once I get to uni, it's just the next year that will be difficult.

I did contact the uni's re eligibility criteria but they were really vague with me, and not much help! I have years of being my ex dp's registered carer, do you think that would count?

And re my 'life choice' to become a single parent, yes that was one of my better ideas, wasn't it? I suppose the other option would be to have stayed with my ex and still be spending my time hiding in wardrobes etc.

If I wait a year not much will have changed as I will still need before and after school care, which won't amount to much difference considering I will get the early years funding from sept (unless the gov scrap that too, which I wouldn't put past them).

I don't like being this skint and having to claim benefits, I am not on income support but I get wtc and ctc. I want to be a good role model for my dc and having had the last four years of my life robbed from me by a crazy loon, I don't feel like I have any more time to waste, I am not getting any younger.

OP posts:
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