How much to give as a wedding gift?

[concernedmate]

DH and I can not decide on an agreeable amount.

Its for my oldest friends daughter's wedding, we have been friends 30 years and although we now live miles away and only get to see each other every few years.

Her dd and partner have asked for £££ as they are setting up a new home and I am more than happy to send a cheque as not able to make it to the wedding as had a previous engagment. How much would you send. We do not have an unlimited amount of money, but sending some money would not cause too much of a problem to us.

Asking for opinions before I reveal amounts dh and I are suggesting.

TIA

Add together and divide by 2?

It really depends on how much you can afford. We got married last year and had money/voucher gifts ranging from £5 to £250, but most in the £20-£50 range. We appreciated each and every one and tried to use it for specific things so we could say "thank you for your gift which went towards X."

£25.

Ok well I don't know the answer or an amount to suggest.

However I can tell you that at our wedding, a similar situation we were given a £100 gift voucher by hubby's parents best friends. However we didn't ask for anything - gifts nor money, not sure this makes a difference.

I would say if you can't make the wedding then give a larger amount than you would if you could, but that might just be me.

I'd avoid money. I buy royal doulton tea light holders at £20 in debenhams or couple of 7"/10" photo frames. If they are doing up a house both goes well. You get tons of photos and usually no nice frames.

Btw a copy of the times on the day with a ribbon round is also lovely. (Costs £50 to buy later - seriously!)

£50

I would only send about £25, but that's what I can afford and what I would normally spend on a wedding gift. Without knowing how much you can afford or would normally spend it's very hard to say what you should send in this case!

£50 feels right to me, assuming you are fairly well off and this is a good friend's daughter. I think anything in the 25-100 range would seem reasonable. More than that would be a bit OTT unless you are known for your extravagant gift giving, less than that a bit mean unless you can't afford it.

I should add, I do agree on the what you can afford. We give for close friends when we are invited to the whole wedding about £100 too.

I never give money - I choose a small antique for people.

If single then I would say £50. £100 for a couple. That's what I do anyway.

For best friends daughter I would probably go for £50-£100 dependant on what I could afford at the time I suppose (you are saving on petrol, accomodation etc as not going).

How much would you spend on a present? Write a cheque for that.

£100

£50.

Although, looking at Beejena's reasoning, I have to say that one of the only cash gifts we were given was in perhaps a comparable relationship - £200. I was pretty blown away by it, we had bigger presents but I thought in the context that was super-generous. I rushed out and made sure I spent it on a large piece of nameable furniture.

My not particularly well off parents give their friends children about 100+ When I got married their friends gave me 100. I got married more than ten years ago! They are all very generous people, clearly!

£50

£50 if not going to the wedding. £100 if going. £150 for family or best friends.

When people buy presents that are very personal, I hope you also give the couple the receipt should they wish to exchange or refund!

If they need cash, I'd personally give cash :)

Erm. £50 sounds about right. But anything £20+

I would go between £25 & £50, thinking from the perspective of what i would think is reasonable to receive from parents lifelong friends. Any more, i would feel uncomfortable unless they were really rich. If i knew that money was tight, i would be happy with just a card.

I'd say £20-£30, but then you need to give what you can afford.

My rule of thumb is £25 per person invited. so a couple would give £50 and a family of 4 woud give £100.

It's hard to say without knowing your financial details.

Probably £50 max I would say.

If it were a friend, rather than the daughter of a friend I would give more.

I do wonder if these threads are a bit like the birthday presents thread. I don't know anyone who has ever given £20 for a wedding present, nor do I know anyone who has received £20.

Likewise everyone here is very quick to say 'send them with a box of maltesers' or just turn up with nothing for a child's party, but how many people would actually send their own child with a box of chocolates or empty handed.

It's easy to say would you would do on the Internet, but not so easy when you actually have to do it and see these people again!

Astley I had to read your post twice - I first thought that your friends had received only fivers and tenners. I think there may be something in what you say. I'm interested to see what the OPs two figures from the real life debate with her husband are.