aibu to take children out of school for this

[wouldliketobethere]

I have 2 DC currently yr 6 and yr 7. My niece in NZ (where I am from) is getting married in November. We weren't going to go as apart from anything else we cant afford it. My mum rang yesterday and offered to pay for the fares (which is the main cost since we would stay with family whilst we were there) as she really wants the whole family to be there. This is a lot of money for her but she really would like us there and is quite elderly and says this might be the last family wedding she goes to (though I certainly hope she is wrong about that).

It is a big family occasion and we don't really have that many family occasions - last one was 8 years ago. The whole family are close and all live very close to each other etc so even though it is my niece, it does seem to me to be someone in my close family if you see what I mean, although to be fair I don't see/talk to her much these days as I live over here and she has a busy life and not much interested in her auntie in England. But I still really would feel I was missing something big on my side of the family.

DH just doesn't want to consider it as he thinks it simply isn't possible to take the DC out of school - they would be in year 7 and year 8 and I think we would have to take them out for 2 weeks in November. We would need to get there in time to get over the worst of the jet lag, and having spent that much on the trip I think we would have to stay that amount of time to see my mum etc.

I honestly don't know if IABU. I haven't even asked the school as DH is so set against it.

I would take them it's the trip of a lifetime.
And I am normally very against taking dcs out of school, my six have never had a day off school unless for illness.
But this sort of thing is what the exceptional circumstances clause is there for.

I would take them out.

Generally I think children shouldn't be taken out of school just for 'a holiday'. This is more than that; a family occasion with close family they don't normally see.

They aren't in exam years yet, and should be able to catch up with two weeks of missed schoolwork.

I hope you can persuade your DH to go for it.

Go, it's a fabulous opportunity and enriching for your children to discover a new country. This kind of experience can not be taught at school!

Agree - if you can fit it around the half-term that normally falls over the end of October, so at least one week is school holiday anyway, then go. You're past SATs, you're pre-GCSE - you won't get the chance in the next few years.

I would do it without a doubt. Get them to keep a journal or organise a visit to a local history museum/place of interest to ensure that it is a wider learning experience.
I think your DH needs to recognise that there are wider learning experiences in life than can be gained just from books and sitting in a classroom.

As a teacher, GO!

I don't agree with taking children out of school.

But for this I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Fabulous opportunity to see a beautiful country and for it to be a once-in-a-lifetime (probably) family event.

Go.

Yup, agree with most of the other posters. I would never usually agree with taking kids out of school, but for this? Absolutely!

Go!

I don't see that it's a once in a lifetime thing though!

Why can't you go at Christmas instead?

Or is the offer inherently tied to the wedding invitation?

If it really is a case of go in November or never again, then obviously you'll need to try and get the school to agree to the November trip. But personally I would see whether an NZ Christmas might be a possibility instead.

I suppose other posters are seeing the wedding as the once in a lifetime thing.

But the OP herself seems to be saying it's not the wedding per se, but the family event. Which could just as easily be Christmas, without having to take kids out of school.

so long as the kids will not be frightened of being unable to catch up

I had parents who took me out for a holiday for family stuff every other year and HATED it - I hated it soooooo much it always made me feel sick of the month after when I'd be playing catch up in every single subject.

Did not seem at all worth it to me - wooooo I got to spend 2 weeks in a foreign country, without all my stuff, away from my friends, spending time with people I didn't know - and then have to spend a month playing catch up afterwards.... and be grateful that I had had the opportunity to visit places other people dream of.... (mmm and see the inside of various family living rooms... wooo again..)

Sorry - I sound like I was a horrid child ... probably was.....

Do it. It's a once-in-a-childhood opportunity and there is loads you could do to make it educational. Wildlife/history/culture, you name it.

Hell, have them read the hobbit and the LOTR's and write and draw how they see the environments, then take them to the film sets and compare and contrast!

Ask the school for work - they can be doing some of it on the plane!!

School is important, absolutely, but experiences such as this stay with people forever and can be the basis for huge amounts of learning of all sorts.

I am taking DC out of school for 3 weeks next year for similar types of reasons. If YABU then so am I. However usually when I talk about it on MN I get piled on saying how U I am , so am amused to see this thread.

Ham it up completely in the letter asking for authorised leave; they may not grant it but they are unlikely to fine you, either. I think that's your real challenge. I guess you can't even ask about the y7 child until after you've booked everything?! That's a pain.

wow your sooo lucky, most threads like this are vicous with posters being accused of sacrificing their DC entire future lives ....

Of course go, its a no brainer!

School will not give any work ime, or remotely interested to see any diary DC keep about the journey, but would be pleased to read of other experiences.

An education is about much more than academic subjects. A trip such as this is an educational experience in itself and the importance of cementing family ties cannot be underestimated. I think for these reasons your DC's HT would have no trouble authorising this.

Keeping a journal isn't going to make up for 2 weeks of missed work in Y7.

I wouldn't take my child out for that long, no. Two weeks in Y7 is a lot to miss. Add maybe 10 days off through illness (which wouldn't be that unusual) and that's 10% of the days they are expected to be at school.

BUT I'd probably regret not taking them. Make of that what you will.

This is a no brainer - go!!! have fun x

I don't think two weeks in the first and second year of secondary school is that big a deal; it's not as if it's options year or GCSE year. The amount of work covered in that time can easily be covered by parents who are interested and value education and would probably require a lot less time because of the one-to-one element. All the school has to do is provide a copy of the lesson plans and targets.

I would do it!

MadeOfStarDust that's a really interesting post - OP do your kids want to go?

Sorry, I don't live in the UK so have no idea, but I thought I had read on here before that you have to pay a fine if you take your child out of school?

Maybe that is for older children. I was surprised when I read it!

I'd go. No question - well, the only question might be, 'Why not for 3 weeks?'
It's a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet up with family from the other side of the world, not a chance to get a cheaper holiday year on year.