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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... To be cross that my mother mispronounces DS's name?

116 replies

UndineSpragg · 05/06/2013 11:40

This is a combination AIBU and WWYD on something that is fairly trivial on the face of it, but makes me a bit cross and sad. (Though actually I can't see what can be done.)

My DS is almost 15 months old. We live in a different country to my parents, but visit frequently and talk most days on Skype, so they can see DS, who is their only grandchild. All involved have English as a first language. They have just been visiting us, and it was generally lovely. BUT I realised that, 15 months on, my mother still continually mispronounces DS's name. I knew she mispronounced it right at the beginning, when he was born, but DH and I told her (gently!) how to say it, and I thought it was resolved months back.

But now I realise it was only masked by the fact she usually calls him by a short form of his name most of the time. Which is fine, obviously, though everyone else calls him his full name, but when she talks to other people about him and uses his full name, she says it completely wrong. To the point where people don't recognise it.

It's not just a single error, but THREE, for heaven's sake. Difficult to explain without saying the name, but she pronounces a 'th' as 't', switches one vowel sound for another, and puts the emphasis on the wrong syllable. I only realised it was still going on when two people I know slightly from the park and who had met my parents out with DS while they were visiting, mentioned it yesterday, and were clearly worrying they had been calling DS the wrong name all along. (We are newly moved here so they were worried they had picked up the wrong name.)

I won't say the name here, but it's Biblical, perfectly ordinary, phonetically pronounced and though not used much in this country, is very common in other parts of the English-speaking world. No variants, no alternative spellings.

I gently corrected her near the end of the visit, making a joke of it, but she's still doing it, and i realised on the phone to some relatives in our home country that extended family we don't see regularly are saying it wrong, because of how my mother pronounces it in their company! I don't know myself at this point what the problem is. No one else, from close family to people we meet on the street, has ever had a problem saying it. Some kind of mental block? The fact I don't think she liked the name when we originally announced it?

AIBU to be frustrated that my mother can't/won't pronounce her only grandchild's name correctly? I think it would have upset and confused me as a child to have my grandmother calling me by the wrong name. I would never have called him by his lovely name if I'd known this would be an issue, but it's far too late for that now! Any thoughts?

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 20:01

E's a good, E's a good...E's Ebeneezer Good!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 20:02

I like it too. Only he'd probably get called "Ebs" "Ebby" and "Ebber" not to mention "Eezer Geezer" when he's older.

TheRealFellatio · 05/06/2013 20:07

my mil cannot say the word crisps. She sort of says crssss. It annoys me.

ShinyPenny · 05/06/2013 20:10

Tell her to only use the short version from now on. Sorted.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 05/06/2013 21:39

My mum confuses my baby's name for the cat. So much so that her friend didn't actually seem to know what my baby was called.

It's not like the cat even has a human name. The cat is called c-for (c for cat, i know, i know...whole other problem).

I get how anoying it is and you have my sympathy

formicadinosaur · 05/06/2013 22:23

Can you write it out as it sounds and have it visable during skype. 'hey look mum, I've written this to help you. Know you get a bit confused by sons name so thought I could help'

BadRoly · 05/06/2013 22:35

I have a name that is always being mispronounced. I can tolerate it from strangers or people newly met but it winds me up no end that my bill still insists on saying it wrong. And it is nothing to do with accent.

Likewise, ds1 has a nickname that isn't the usual shortening for his name. He really dislikes the more common nickname (Alex) and has asked mil several times not to call him it. She still does though and I think that's just rude as he has been known by the nickname for about 9 of his 10 years!

So unless it is an accent or speech impediment that means your mother is mispronouncing your ds name, I would say something as I think it DOES matter.

UniqueAndAmazing · 05/06/2013 22:42

Jamie
my dad says thee-et-er and he's really working class and northern

I say theer-ter

and jewl-er-ry

WhyMeWhyNot · 05/06/2013 22:46

My nephew has a girlfriend and I just cannot get her name right. I have to say 'rhymes with' in my head and it still comes out my mouth wrong. It's 4 letters long ffs.

MrsKoala · 05/06/2013 22:53

Balthazar?

DS's name is unusual, but not unheard of, and made up of 3 very easy syllables which are said in many other names. Yet people seem utterly incapable of saying it, or hearing it without a 'you what?!' response. My mum, when letting family/friends know he had arrived, made theatrical over exaggerated faces about it and before she even said it announced how awful it was but at least he was alive so that was the main thing and everyone wasn't to take any notice of the awful name etc. Erm cheers mum! Thanks for the great intro into the world Confused The thing is my name is similar in origin and sounds and syllables so i can't see what her problem is.

Anyway, keep correcting her it would drive me nuts.

Hairy - i love the random Russian accent. Please tell me the name so i can say it repeatedly in my best Russian while chuckling to myself Grin

MrsKoala · 05/06/2013 22:58

Rumpelstiltskin?

MrsKoala · 05/06/2013 23:23

Theophilus?

OHforDUCKScake · 05/06/2013 23:30

Neo I always thought it was "E's are good"

I assumed it was about the drug, then they just added on his name on the end to cover up what they meant?

Like Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds wasnt about LSD, they said.

berrycake · 06/06/2013 00:38

Jethro?
Though when I try to say it out loud with a 't' instead of 'th' it starts to confuse me.

ThenWeTakeBerlin · 06/06/2013 00:59

I can't believe all the posters telling you not to worry about!

Correct her every time she gets it wrong, that'll learn her Wink

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 06/06/2013 01:01

My Mum pronounces some names strangely - and after 20 odd years still pronounces my god-daughters names incorrectly... it's like she just can't hear the difference?! Think Nihcole v Nick-OL.

Sadly I think I've inherited her inability to 'hear' the difference sometimes too :( Learning spanish was a nightmare.

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