I agree, the students I know who got into Oxford or Cambridge (and I have seen quite a few in the last 9 years) were all very exceptionally bright. And well rounded and and and.
But I've also seen those who didn't get in and a few of these were equally bright.
I have no wish for my children to go to Oxbridge. If they want to, they can, and I will support them all the way. But I also tell them there are plenty of other good unis out there if they want to go to uni.
High earning and happiness is not mutually exclusive that's ridiculous.
I think bonsoir wrote how we go about making dc reach their potential. Both children wanted to learn to play the piano, they were 5 and 7, I had bought the piano for me. Ds absolutely loves it, still plays 7 years later. Dd played for 3 years, then asked to play the violin at age 10. We would never have put a violin in her hands as she is very clumsy, more than your average clumsiness. She started, loves it, is really good at it, plays in several orchestras and ensembles, has a whole different life outside school. She stopped piano lessons 3 months after starting the violin but still sits down sometimes and plays a bit. She has never dropped the violin(s) once touchwood and plays as well as those who started aged 5.
We could have easily discouraged her to start the violin. A few teachers said she will never he happy because she will never play with her age group, as there is too much catching up to do. But she wanted it. And that's enough for me to let my children try anything (within reason).
They have to want to do it for themselves, as you don't get good at anything without hard work and practice.
Of course there are times when both could practice more.
If they have to stick to something regardless it makes them less likely to try new things. And that limits their chance of finding things that they are really interested in. Things we are interested in (and we are good at) make us happy I think, and they don't have to become careers.
(waffle end)