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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a 4 year old is too old for nappies?

114 replies

TheSeventhHorcrux · 02/06/2013 23:20

Old charge of mine, a month or two away from starting school. He wore a nappy 24/7 and never used a toilet/potty. Ever. He would do at least one MASSIVE poo a day, would never say when he had gone or that he needed to go. It was only until the smell hit you or you noticed it coming out of the top of his nappy... (I'm talking a too-big for nappy job, always very soft.(TMI sorry!) When I changed him I always had to stick him in the shower it was so messy and it STANK)

Parents not bothered, I was only temp PT so i couldn't train him though I tried to encourage him to tell, use a potty etc.

AIBU to think a 4 year old shouldn't need a nappy during the day?

(he doesn't have SN)

OP posts:

bottleofbeer · 03/06/2013 23:26

But it's not even unsual for a child much older than four without SN to still wear them.

There are loadssssss of reasons for it, least of all of them I think is lazy parenting.

Sparklypinknails · 03/06/2013 23:28

Er, OP might not be privy to the ins and outs of a child she no longer works with. He may have been diagnosed since or be waiting a diagnosis.

IsabelleRinging · 04/06/2013 07:34

Being in nappies at 4 is not 'common', it may not be unheard of but is certainly not the usual. I have worked in infant school for over 10 years and never come across a reception child in nappies still.

bottleofbeer · 04/06/2013 08:52

I've said it's not particularly unusual (which is different to saying it's common) and just because they're not wearing them in the day it's not to say they're not wearing them at night which would still mean they were still in nappies.

trackies · 04/06/2013 09:07

bottleofbeer thanks for that. Nice to share with us that 2 of your 4 were difficult. Sometimes you really feel that it's your fault. DC1 finally pooed in the loo and DC2 (who i am not really training properly yet as he also has issues with constipation and witholding) did it in the loo 2 weeks after her. Even DC1 said "oh my goodness me". Bless her ! They are sooooo different.

bottleofbeer · 04/06/2013 10:06

They are! my first was so easy, I was due another baby when he was about to turn two so I had a go. He was dry in days without accidents, dry through the night by two and a half. Waheyyy, that was easy, smug me wondering what the fuss was about. DC2 soon wiped that smug grin off my face! He knew what to do but he just wouldn't bother, he'd be in clean clothes for twenty minutes after the last accident and there'd be a big, tell tale wet patch again. But they do get there in the end. All the hard times really do become a distant memory that you actually think back on quite fondly.

bottleofbeer · 04/06/2013 10:10

Hahaha just been reminiscing and remembered my daughter's potty breakthrough. I was hanging washing out when she came out to me butt naked holding out a full potty. Look at I did mummmmyyyyyy.

Who'd ever believe one of their nicest memories would become a naked toddler handing you a potty full of poo?

trackies · 04/06/2013 10:17

lol re:'smug grin off my face'. Your DC2 sounds like my DC1. Had months of all day wetting and pooing. Could get through about 10 pairs of joggers and pants in a day. Coorrr i can imagine that potty full of poo scenario. Better than in the pants isn't it.

OctopusPete8 · 04/06/2013 11:16

I thought that when I sent my ds cold turkey in the beginning of the year he would be upset by wet pants and do it......Has he hell! he will happily sit in piss wet through pants several times over,and not tell me, when he is wet, or needs a wee/poo.

It somtimes makes him sore, he will go 'mummy I'm sore' i explain to him if he used the toilet properly this wouldn't happen ....to no avail.
And btw he was off bottles before one that took a week,
weaned fully in a month,
had a dummy till he was 3 but was weaned in a week and did very will with new arrival 2 months after,
He had severe speech disorder and managed to get him talkin well in a matter of months and no knows words some older kids sturggle with.
I thinks its wrong that you hit one , albeit major block and you are considered lazy.

miffybun73 · 04/06/2013 13:06

Under normal circumstances of course it's too old.

He must have had some sort of medical problem surely.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 04/06/2013 13:10

Being in nappies at age four suggests a problem. Perhaps the family were in denial.

Summerblaze · 04/06/2013 13:17

My DS has developmental delay maybe due to glue ear, maybe something else undiagnosed at the moment.

He doesn't look SN and some people think he is just an underdeveloped talker and a bit wayward.

He is 5.5 now and although is out of nappies, he still has occasional accidents when he is engrossed in something and as for nighttime nappies. I aren't even going there yet. He isn't ready.

I can be a bit judgey at times but this post is just plain mean.

Millions of reasons for this to be happening. Butt out.

pumpkinsweetie · 04/06/2013 13:25

Yabu, each child is different regardless of having sn or not having sn.
My dd 4, 5 in a few months still wears pull-ups at night. I have tried everything, but it seems her bladder isn't controllable when she is asleep. We do have dry nights, but half the week she is wet. I have been told this is normal

NonnoMum · 04/06/2013 20:22

Regarding Disability Act - then yes, of course, a school would make provision for a child with SN, but, generally teachers are not allowed by union rules to change a nappy of a school-aged child so that they can concentrate on teaching.
I've known a school phone home for a child to be collected if he/she soils himself.

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