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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to avoid a school because of a "do not abuse the staff" sign?

153 replies

Hawkmoon269 · 02/06/2013 16:20

I've name changed for this because I don't want to be outed!

My child is in a choir. Rehearsals each week are in an infant school that is several miles from our home and I know nothing about.

As you enter there is a sign saying that verbal and physical abuse will not be tolerated. This sign is at adult height and is addressed to "visitors to the school" so clearly not intended for the pupils of the school.

Just had an interesting chat to a friend about this. Seeing the sign puts me off the school straight away. Wouldn't even consider it (not that it's an option, but if I saw a similar sign in a school that was an option I would rule it out). My friend thinks I'm overreacting...

But seriously - the sign is clearly aimed at adults (so I assume parents). Aibu to want to avoid schools which have to warn parents not to be abusive even before they enter?! It freaks me out!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 02/06/2013 16:23

would you rather a sign that said "feel free to come in and behave like a twat" ???

They have that sign up in most hospitals, doctors surgeries, civic buildings.. what exactly are you worrying about?

FannyMcNally · 02/06/2013 16:24

Well it's a normal sign in hospitals and doctors' surgeries, do you avoid them too?

Original poster
Hawkmoon269 · 02/06/2013 16:24

But a school? I've never seen one in a school before...

I understand hospitals, post offices etc. But doesn't it say quite a lot about the parents to need that sign?

OP posts:
insanityscratching · 02/06/2013 16:25

I' undecided as to whether YABU there s one in the foyer in dd's school, it doesn't bother me and I've never seen anyone being abusive to staff in the school anyway. I thought it was a common sign to have on display anyway, there's one in our library Hmm

mrsjay · 02/06/2013 16:26

I take it you havnt been on public transport recently there is signs all over them , it is probably a council issued label that goes out to all public buildings

Original poster
Hawkmoon269 · 02/06/2013 16:26

And it's the first sign you see. Huge. On the front door!

I just don't like the idea that the school have had such bad experiences that they need to make it so prominent.

I've visited at least a dozen schools in the last year. I've never seen a sign like it.

OP posts:
AllegraLilac · 02/06/2013 16:26

It's probably just precautionary.

manicinsomniac · 02/06/2013 16:27

I don't think it says anything about the school tbh.

I work in a delightful school (rural private prep) but there are a small number of parents who think they have the right to say whatever they like as aggressively or spitefully as they like or treat you like you are so far beneath them you're barely worth speaking to. It's a tiny minority but it happens. I don't think any school is going to be immune to this, it's just the way a small percentage of all adults behave.

Original poster
Hawkmoon269 · 02/06/2013 16:28

Nope, not a standard council sign.

I've got the bus and been to the doctor in the last week. I'm sure they both have signs somewhere but I didn't see them. They weren't obvious.

OP posts:
notfluffy · 02/06/2013 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Hawkmoon269 · 02/06/2013 16:29

manic I understand that... And yes, there are rude parents in every school

OP posts:
Original poster
Hawkmoon269 · 02/06/2013 16:30

not I think I know the Notting Hill school you mean Smile

OP posts:
MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 02/06/2013 16:30

No, it says that the school will not tolerate that sort of behaviour which is a good sign imo.

The year before I started looking at Secondary schools a friend visited the one that my DC ended up attending. While she was there the police turned up in response to the school calling regarding an incident between two pupils. Now, you could see that as an awful thing, that the police needed to be called OR you could see it as the school having a no tolerance policy towards violence in the school. You will never get a school filled with perfectly behaved pupils; what's important is how the school deals with bad behaviour/rule breaking etc. In the years the DSs have attended I've never felt worried about their safety there and I'm absolutely confident that they would take any problems seriously.

PotteringAlong · 02/06/2013 16:31

I'd like a sign like that at my school, just to remind adults who, 99% of the time wouldn't dream of speaking like that to their dr / dentist / checkout person in sainsburys that just because they are in a school does not give them the right to revert to being an obnoxious teenager and that I am, in fact, also just doing my job.

I'd be chuffed that it was a school who looked after their staff. You're in for a huge shock if you think nice schools don't contain arsey parents.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 02/06/2013 16:33

Yabu and pretty naive tbh.

SuffolkNWhat · 02/06/2013 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pointythings · 02/06/2013 16:35

I think a sign like that just sets boundaries from the start and as such is a good thing - I've seen some shocking behaviour from parents at DD2's primary. It's in every way a lovely school, but some of the parents just need to be told 'you have been warned'.

Original poster
Hawkmoon269 · 02/06/2013 16:36

I do find the messages school send to prospective parents really interesting.

I went to visit schools when my dc was a tiny baby. Many schools said it was fantastic I was thinking ahead (if we'd needed to move for catchment areas it could have taken a couple of years to plan), a few were private and I needed to register interest by 12 or 24 months.

But a few schools said I was being ridiculous and said i couldn's visit until the term before I have to send in the council form. Didn't give me much chance to compare or move!

So those schools got struck off the list straight away.

And yes, I know a lot can change in 3 or 4 years (change of head etc) but I just wanted a feel for each school.

Oh dear. I've gone off in a rants tangent. Sorry.

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 02/06/2013 16:36

YANBU I wouldn't chase after it anyway. My DC school is lovely...and no signs like that either. Those say YABU are naive not the other way around.

natwebb79 · 02/06/2013 16:36

We have one in the leafy suburbs school I work in. It's pretty standard.

ilovesooty · 02/06/2013 16:39

These signs should be standard in all schools IMO. They can be obtained on request from the teacher unions, I believe. This school obviously takes the welfare of its staff seriously.

YABU.

Original poster
Hawkmoon269 · 02/06/2013 16:39

suffolk arf at "child height"

Yes, maybe I am being naive. I'm in central London. The schools are VERY different to the schools I went to.

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 02/06/2013 16:42

Blimey - visiting schools when your child was still a baby sounds v odd to me.

Original poster
Hawkmoon269 · 02/06/2013 16:43

This sign was clearly made by the school. Signed by the head.

Well I'm not alone it seems.

Hmm... I'm probably bring a bit unreasonable because those signs don't bother me anywhere else.

It's just the image of scary abusive parents is off putting. But I take the point that there are arsy parents everywhere.

OP posts:
SuffolkNWhat · 02/06/2013 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.