What was wrong with DD"s birthday food?

[TeapotsInJune]

My DD is two and I held a very small garden party/picnic. I am vegetarian and will not be buying meat for my daughter but I of course don't mind if other people eat meat! However, I personally won't buy it.

So for the food we had a couple of tables in the garden with egg and cheese sandwiches, salad, crisps, jelly, strawberries, raspberries and blueberries and apple juice and sparkling grape juice to drink, plus iced water. I also had ice cream to go with the jelly but that wasn't out!

I then had a text from one of the women who is more the friend of a friend saying "not being funny but u obviously make ur choices but u shouldn't expect em to b made by others luv kids where dead hungry when they got in."

I am pretty cheesed off actually! That was my daughters birthday - it isn't as if I marched around snatching burgers off the children! Was the food I provided okay? I thought it was ...

I wouldn't have said anything but my DS would have only eaten strawberries and cucumber. He is allergic to egg and won't eat cheese in a sandwich.

Dd would have scoffed the lot though.

Nothing wrong with your choices but party food is about party rings, mini sausages and cake IMO. The other healthy stuff they have everyday and if you can't have cake twice on your birthday weekend .

Not sure DC4 would have had jam, either. Such a pain to feed that child is. Anyway, I don't want him having daily jam&Nutella, either.

If OP is still reading: have to say that egg sandwiches are going to be very unpopular. You could try an all fruit spread to use like jam, not as sweet as sugary conserve.

Plain butter sandwiches are good for many.

She was a rude cah!

DD would have eaten all of that.

That food sounds lovely!

I recently went to an afternoon birthday party where the only food provided was cake, nothing else. There was coffee and a glass of wine for the parents but nothing else, which I found a bit unusual. However, I wouldn't dream of commenting on it, let alone complaining about it to anyone!

I like the "You're welcome!"-reply text someone suggested above. It's a dignified way of saying "oh, do fuck off!"

Call me old fashioned, but if hosting I don't take the like or lump it approach advocated by some of you. I try to accommodate all - not always possible, but I least endeavour to achieve this (shrugs). As stated before - rude guest, however limited repertoire of food. Could do better.

Dd would not have eaten it(she's a fussy one), but the Vax aka ds would . Op don't beat yourself up, you cannot cater for every single child. Even if you had a table brimming with MacDonalds and Pizza Hut food, there will be te fussy ones that would not touch it. You get it at every party, your food sounds lovely

Blimey, I can't believe how many fussy kids there are these days!

I think what you offered was fine, and the 'friend' was very rude to send that text. It's fine to judge in silence (we all do it for one reason or another), but to openly criticise something that was laid on at someone else's expense is not on. Presumably she has working vocal chords that shouldn't have stopped her from asking for bread and butter to make a crisp sandwich or whatever?

Hmc just because the food was not sweet, stodgy junk food does not mean that it's limited . It's notte hsts fault if your children are not used to different variety of food

Meant hosts

I think the woman sounds bloody rude!
I think your birthday spread sounds lovely. However, I personally think it's a shame you didn't have a birthday cake for your party guests... For me, that would have been a shame... But I certainly would never have been so rude to have texted!

How rude and dreadful text language. Ignore her

Mine wouldn't have especially liked egg and cheese sandwiches and nor would I, but I wouldnt have dreamed of texting to tell you so!

My children are used to a wide variety of food (and would have eaten the food proffered) but I don't seek to impose my standards on others - but I am probably a good deal older and wiser than you...

I think it sounds lovely.

What a vile rude woman to send that text. And text speak too - urgh.

The op invited guests to her home and generously fed and presumably entertained them too - I'm not sure what gives the rude texter the right to take that kindness and criticise it. Where is her appreciation? Who cares what the food was like if op's intentions were kind?

Rude woman: ignore.

Nothing wrong with your food at all. It is tempting to cater for as many tastes as possible but then you end up with wasted food. The analysis about that woman having issues with veggies is spot on.

Agree with plenty of posts here, if your child is a difficult or restricted eater then you never expect a host to second guess your requirements. Also, having just come back from my 2 yr olds party, no kids were that interested in eating.

Finally, I am surprised at the comments about berries being expensive. But I do have a local market where the fruit and veg is good quality and laughably cheap compared to the supermarkets. Might be worth a look for some of you.

Rude woman!!!!!!! Amazing that she considered it appropriate to text you because you her kids had come home a bit peckish from a party! Take no notice, a very,very ill mannered person. Glad your Dd enjoyed her party.

There's no point in texting her back she's clearly a dick. If she thinks it's ok to text someone a message like that she's not going to see why you're offended - she's just 'telling it like it is'

It was hinted she'd piped up during the party about the lack of meat - she clearly has decided that this is an issue she'll take to heart and make a point about - completely missing the number one rule of being a guest and respecting the choices of the household you're in. With that and the text she sounds thick as shit to me and I'd be inclined to just grin and bear her if the kids happen to get on (which is what I bet most other people do while looking to get away quickly).

OP there was absolutely nothing wrong with the food you put out. You weren't cheap, you weren't stingy and you clearly made an effort. I bet she's the type who would demand (not ask) for a fork in a Chinese restaurant whilst complaining loudly that they weren't already set out.

Forcing indeed.

Hmc, you appear to have mistaken a two year olds birthday picnic for a dinner party! Repertoire indeed ;)

It sounds like a completely ordinary party tea. I would have had cakes instead of jelly and ice-cream, but I don't think you need to do both. Serving ice-cream is more of an effort so I don't see how anybody could complain about it.

I would do the same fruit/crips/sandwiches as you, but usually do cheddar, egg, philadelphia, hummus and jam sandwiches (small number of each cut into triangles). I might also do pizza or those rolls that are like sausage rolls but have cheese in them.

For older children, I do cocktails in cocktail glasses with the little umbrellas and novelty sparkly things. The cocktails are a mixture of sparkling juices, as you gave at your party.

I cannot see that the food you served was worthy of comment, and it is similar to what is served at most kids' parties that mine have been to.

If my kids came to your party they would be very full leaving! Fab food.

My reply would be much much less eloquent...'oh do fuck off' would do nicely.

Exactly red

Why is their so much judgement on what food is or isn't served. Maybe people can't afford a shed load of food. Or their kids have allergies so choice is limited. Or they just don't wanna be living off cold pizza for three weeks cos whatever you serve kids r too busy playing to eat anyway. They are vegetarians , they are perfectly within their rights to not wanna cook or handle meat. What's the big deal, no ones gonna drop dead cos they didnt get a sausage.

Thanks for the replies.

For those berating me about the lack of cake and other sweet food, may I just explain that my DD is only two. It wasn't really intended to be a huge fancy party, more a opportunity for the children to have a play in the garden and as very small party for DD. we didn't sing happy birthday, even (am sure I'll be criticised for that now) just because she is only two and I don't think she was bothered. It was really more of a "lets use the garden now the weather is nice" celebration I suppose.

I wouldn't have put jam out because of wasps, to be honest. The children ate the egg sandwiches, I'm sorry if anyone would have turned up and been surprised/disappointed/whatever, but you know, they could have asked and I would have tried to find them something they enjoyed.

Thank you for replying anyway, I'm sorry if I sound defensive but while the food might not have been what some expect from a party I still bought it and put it out, so ...

Rude cah.

Don't text her back.