No wedding invite - AIBU? (LONG)

[MyLittleAprilSunshine]

This happened a month or so back, so pretty over it now but curious to see what everyone else's opinions are. I'm not going to lose a friend over it as such, but felt offended.

My friend has been planning to get married for around a year now and actually got married last month. I got pregnant last year in July and he and his partner were trying for a baby at the time, but that's a completely different thread. He didn't speak to me for a while as he was annoyed about me being pregnant. Now he and I have been friends for 10 years, since we were both 13 and are fairly close as friends go.

His partner doesn't like me very much and hasn't came up with a good reason why and this is partially why I think I didn't get an invite, or at least the real reason. My other friends got invites to their wedding a few months before the wedding and I didn't receive one. I jokingly asked if he really wanted me to come to the wedding and he said, "I presume you couldn't come because of the baby" However, I hadn't told him the exact date she was due. I also explained that I would be OK to come to the church for an hour or so, as Mum was helping me out with the little lady. She would've been 5 weeks old, but she was eating every 3 hours and was/is being fed bm and ff. He just said "Oh" and left it at that.

My partner also didn't get an invite, who is also his friend. I wasn't sure why, as surely he could go but not me, which I mentioned to my friend, but he just ignored me.

Now his Mum hasn't been feeling well and had a medical scare a few months ago and has been very stressed. I commented on her status on Facebook (I know, FB is the devil) as we are all adults and she is on my friends list as I get on well with her. She said she was stressed in a status and I commented, 'If you ever want to talk' I didn't specify about anything in particular, I just left the offer open. This was a few weeks ago, a few days before wedding. I then got a message from aforementioned friends wife to be saying (direct quote without the swearword in full "F**k off it nothing to do with you"). I hadn't mentioned anything specific at all, so I told her to back off and stop showing herself to be the brat that she is acting.

Then my friend messaged me and wanted to be friends. His partner is now pregnant and I dread their parenting skills because neither cleans around the house and they are planning to leave their 2 week old baby (rough due date) back with his parents whilst they go on holiday to America for 2 weeks.

AIBU to think just because his girlfriend doesn't like me that it's not nice to not be invited to his wedding, as he had always stated we would go and I doubt my daughter is the real excuse?

I know it sounds petty, but as we have been friends for so long I'd've loved to have been there on his big day. I don't like his girlfriend but have always been really nice to her and offered to go dress shopping with her and everything, so I've never given her an obvious reason to dislike me.

Sorry this was so long! Ask any extra questions you need to. Sorry it seems to be a minor thing, but it did bug me. AIBU?

They bth sound horrid, your 'friend' was not nice to you wen you were pregnant, tbh he des not sound like a good friend. Some of you are very self righteous and obviously oh so reflect tat you just take flack that s given to you without being hurt or offended!

a little baby needs everything very hygienic

Oh dear. You're going to be one of these people who has their baby in a sterile environment then wonders why they've got every allergy going and asthma aren't you?

To be honest I would think a friend who is prepared to condemn another friend as an unsuitable parent when they are expecting on what seems to be very flimsy grounds is not a friend you would want.

I would ditch the friendship, you don't like them and they don't seem to like you very much either, you should just consign it to history.

If the wife of your friend is insulting you in front of your partner, why isn't your DP pulling her up on it? That would really concern me.

She doesn't like you and your friend is supporting his wife. I think he is being fairly spineless, but given everthing that's happened I don't think the friendship can continue long term if his wife is constantly making rude remarks about you, and your friend only wants to involve you when necessary.

FWIW, DH had a female friend at our wedding whom I really dislike. But he wanted to invite her, so it was right for us as a couple to do so. It is extremely petty not to invite a close friend of one of the wedding party, especially if all other good friends are in attendance.

OP, your "friend" has cut you off when you were pregnant and is not inviting you to his wedding. But he thinks he can come crying to you when he needs a moan or some help.

He is not a real friend and you are being a doormat where he's concerned. Just accept that not all childhood friendships make it in the adult world and move on.

Bridget I do like him obviously, thus the term friend. I worry about their suitability but have not mentioned it, am not sure and just concerned. Once a baby is over 3 months sterilisation is a lot more lax but I have been taught to sterilise everything before my little one turns 3 months. I don't wash my boobs 50 times before feeding her when I'm breastfeeding or clean the dummy every time she uses it but if something has stale milk in or has came into contact with cleaning fluids/fat or something, it's going to be cleaned.

Reindeer He did say to her that making comments like that weren't very nice but my partner is quite quiet and told me that she was being rude as he thought I should know. But he did point out that she was making comments about me in relation to things she doesn't know about me such as my suitability for a certain job. Yes his other close friends were there. I still messaged them to say have a fab day though, because I'm not petty.

I know what you mean, Dione

Have they had their baby?
If not how do you know what kind of parents they will be?
How do you know they wont sterilise etc?
Why are you judging them before the situation even arises. It's a hypothetical situation. They may be great parents.
Who are you to label them before the child arrives.
Im not sure I would want a friend like you who was just waiting for me to fail.

I think you sound like hard work tbh. You've got a view on everything, you know everything, you're happy to talk about everything. Honestly I'm worn out just reading your posts so I can see why the Bride in this case may not have wished to rest upon your bosom.
I think you need to do a couple of things - firstly accept that this friendship has run it's course. They don't need you to show them how to sterilise their nipples and boil their blankets. They will be taught and supported just as you were - you know, by the professionals whose job it is. Secondly - the whole his mother was stressed so I was available to talk thing. Why would a middle aged woman want to talk to a 23 yr old lass who her son used to fancy about her health . Really? I can see why the woman's future dil told you to back off.

I think you need to let this whole issue go.

I think you just have to accept things and act in an adult fashion.