AIBU?
To be very annoyed by the message I woke up to this morning?
shellandkai · 31/05/2013 08:21
So this morning I woke up looked at my phone to check the time to see a message from a now ex friend saying she's "going to delete me off whatsapp (that's how I contact all friends) because your all about you and never reply" now here's a little background I met her last summer through a play scheme that we both volunteered at she seemed quite nice or do I thought until we started going to the park etc with our 2 children she kept making comments saying things like "everyone you know are wierd" etc then one night she phoned me like 20 times maybe more from 11pm (which each call I answered) she was drunk she expected me to just get up go round and drink with her leaving my son and partner which I said no to. On another occasion we went to a soft play centre together and walked up "together" afterwards she phoned get sil to pick her and her son up "saying shell will be fine she can make her own way home" I was pretty annoyed as she lived round the corner from me and just ditched me which I thought was pretty rude. On another occasion she phoned and asked if I could go drop something off it was again about 10:30pm and I wasn't dressed and was very tired so dp said he will go drop it for her until she phoned and was saying things that made my partner uncomfortable and we decided I should drop it in the end, so when I got round there again she was pretty drunk and in her dressing gown with what looked like nothing underneath (she was still expecting my partner to drop it off, and kept saying things like "your partner is really good I've lost so many friends because of their husbands/boyfriends trying it on with me but your partner hasn't etc" which set alarm bells off so I distanced myself from her. I bumped into her last month and she said she will message me etc I told her that me and dp have been pretty down as dp's close friend died and it was his funeral next week etc well the night of the funeral she was messaging me " hiya what you upto want to come round" then when I didn't reply se sent another saying "are you ignoring me?" "why are you ignoring me?" to which I replied "sorry not a good night for me will message soon" (she constantly does this if you don't reply straight away so a few days later I sent a message explaining why I didn't want to talk as partner was really upset, then the only other messages were asking to go see her or how we are etc I'm currently pregnant and found out I have a low placenta and to take it easy etc and was abit worried and stressed about that news as well as my son having a chest infection and was really bad with it and my mum being rushed to hospital so I have been worrying about that too so have been really busy I haven't heard from her for a few weeks until I got that message, which I replied "how dare you I have had alot of things worrying me with ds being I'll partners friend dying and my dm being in hospital my world if you can't understand that it's not all about me it's all about my family and not remembering to send you a message every single day then you are not a friend at all" so aibu to be very annoyed about receiving this message? And replying with what I did?
Scruffey · 31/05/2013 08:30
You were not unreasonable to be annoyed to receive her message.
However, you made a mistake replying. You should have been glad that she deleted you as a friend - you say you had already tried to distance yourself - she was playing right into your hands by cutting you off! Why did you feel the need to answer back - it was silly of you because now the door is open for her to apologise and worm her way back.
and hope your mum is recovering.
Tell her your children/child. & your partner are the centre of your world not her so your are happy to be deleted!!!!AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 31/05/2013 08:41
I hope the paragraph police feel so much better and superior for berating the OP.
Rather than actually, you know? Helping someone who is clearly in a tizz.
OP, let this ride and don't contact her again, don't reply when she inevitably contacts you again to restart the drama.
I'm sure your life will be a much calmer/happier place without her in it. Good luck with your pregnancy, you don't need any unnecessary stress.
captainmummy · 31/05/2013 08:41
So... basically she is a shit friend, who only wants you for what you can do for her, is possibly after your dp for casual sex, feels the world revolves around her....
And she's now texted you to say she's deleting you.
Is that it?
Ok she could have just deleted you and not told you, but she feels you ought to know that she's deleting you because she needs the drama in her life. ( You have now provided this by replying.)
YANBU to feel a bit hurt by this.
BUT you don't like her, she is a user and possible dp stealer. So YABU to care.
Delete her too, ignore and move on.
Leverette · 31/05/2013 08:42
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Wahla · 31/05/2013 08:52
It's always hard to get dumped but really, you should be breathing a sigh of relief and asking yourself why you didn't delete her ages ago.
Are you prone to allowing negative people too much space in your life? You need to go over the relationship in your mind and work out at which point you should have cut ties with this nightmare of a women.
Honestly, she's done you a massive favour, just don't be tempted to make it up with her - nothing good will come of that relationship.
TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong · 31/05/2013 08:59
I am Ms Pedant of Pedant City but yes, leave the fucking use of English snarking out of it will ya.
OP- I had a similar thing a few years back. Someone I thought was a good friend moved away, and so contact (through FB) wasn't obv as frequent as it had been. She deleted me, accused me of Not Being There For Her etc etc and now badmouths me to all and sundry.
Having spoken to a few other friends (some of whom are also her ex friends) I've discovered most of them were waiting for her to do to me what she does with everyone. She's a whackjob.
You're better off without. Let her go. Sad bitch.
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