To be very annoyed by the message I woke up to this morning?

[shellandkai]

So this morning I woke up looked at my phone to check the time to see a message from a now ex friend saying she's "going to delete me off whatsapp (that's how I contact all friends) because your all about you and never reply" now here's a little background I met her last summer through a play scheme that we both volunteered at she seemed quite nice or do I thought until we started going to the park etc with our 2 children she kept making comments saying things like "everyone you know are wierd" etc then one night she phoned me like 20 times maybe more from 11pm (which each call I answered) she was drunk she expected me to just get up go round and drink with her leaving my son and partner which I said no to. On another occasion we went to a soft play centre together and walked up "together" afterwards she phoned get sil to pick her and her son up "saying shell will be fine she can make her own way home" I was pretty annoyed as she lived round the corner from me and just ditched me which I thought was pretty rude. On another occasion she phoned and asked if I could go drop something off it was again about 10:30pm and I wasn't dressed and was very tired so dp said he will go drop it for her until she phoned and was saying things that made my partner uncomfortable and we decided I should drop it in the end, so when I got round there again she was pretty drunk and in her dressing gown with what looked like nothing underneath (she was still expecting my partner to drop it off, and kept saying things like "your partner is really good I've lost so many friends because of their husbands/boyfriends trying it on with me but your partner hasn't etc" which set alarm bells off so I distanced myself from her. I bumped into her last month and she said she will message me etc I told her that me and dp have been pretty down as dp's close friend died and it was his funeral next week etc well the night of the funeral she was messaging me " hiya what you upto want to come round" then when I didn't reply se sent another saying "are you ignoring me?" "why are you ignoring me?" to which I replied "sorry not a good night for me will message soon" (she constantly does this if you don't reply straight away so a few days later I sent a message explaining why I didn't want to talk as partner was really upset, then the only other messages were asking to go see her or how we are etc I'm currently pregnant and found out I have a low placenta and to take it easy etc and was abit worried and stressed about that news as well as my son having a chest infection and was really bad with it and my mum being rushed to hospital so I have been worrying about that too so have been really busy I haven't heard from her for a few weeks until I got that message, which I replied "how dare you I have had alot of things worrying me with ds being I'll partners friend dying and my dm being in hospital my world if you can't understand that it's not all about me it's all about my family and not remembering to send you a message every single day then you are not a friend at all" so aibu to be very annoyed about receiving this message? And replying with what I did?

[Finola1step]

Ignore her. Don't bother replying to any future messages. She's no friend. She sounds rather toxic.

[TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong]

A genuine question for the Grammar arsewits police....

If the OP had been written without paragraphs because, let's imagine, she had just been thumped by her partner, or her husband had just dropped dead, or she'd just suffered a family tragedy....would you still be telling her you weren't going to offer any advice until she fucking punctuated???

A second question: Does it actually make you feel good about yourself when you belittle people like you do? Really? Am genuinely curious to hear what you get out of it. Because you are one warped bunch that's for sure.

(and I speak as someone who likes nothing more than to pull language apart (in the right context) it's what I do for a living)

[iwantanafternoonnap]

God get rid of her. I, like you, would have sent a reply and then regretted it later. I am learning (at the tender age of 40) to not reply to stupid, antagonising messages from people who are clearly fecking nuts!

She has a drink problem I expect, no boundries and takes the piss when it comes to getting people to do unreasonable requests at daft o'clock.

She is also clearly after your husband so again stay well away as I expect the next step would be her telling you he has tried it on with her. In fact she does sound like she has a personality disorder of some sort.

Anyway good luck with your pregnancy and hope you life has more luck in it.

block and delete that crazy woman from your life.

[Bowlersarm]

YANBU OP.

Don't waste any more time on her.

If she wants to grovel and make up to you, then decide what you want to do. In the meantime, move on without her.

[seasalt]

She doesn't sound like much of a friend and was obviously causing you a lot of stress which you won't have to put up with any more. I think you did the right thing.

[Birdsgottafly]

I also think that she has a drink problem and possibly other issues.

If you haven't come across this before, you will be at a loss how to handle people like this.

You need to put bounderies up, in future. It is unreasonable to expect anyone to run round late at night, over a minor issue. You don't have to put up with anyone making you or your DP uncomfortable. It isn't bad mannered to be straight with people, from the start.

Don't get PA, just spell out what the problem is and then if what you can offer in the way of friendship isn't good enough, part company.

[musicposy]

I think you are well rid of her, OP, to be honest.

I probably wouldn't have replied because I would have been happier to just let her delete me. But, having had your say, I'd let it go now.

Do you really want this person in your life saying you are weird, making ridiculous demands of you at 10.30 at night and possibly trying to seize a chance to come on to your DH?

Move on. You can find better friends than this. Delete her from all your contacts (facebook, mobile numbers etc) and don't look back. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well. :)

[Dannilion]

I didn't read it all, but it sounds like you don't really know or care about each other so there's no point trying to hold on to this 'friendship'.

[mylovelymonster]

You were completely reasonable with your reply and I hope she gets the message that her behaviour is crap. You are well rid of her, and I would't waste any more time on her. She is not a friend.

Good luck with your pregnancy (congratulations x) and I hope life gets much better/happier/stress-free soon.

[ENormaSnob]

Ditch the bitch.

[LastTangoInDevonshire]

It's not a case of 'not replying until she punctuated' - it's a case of not being physically able to read the post. It's just letting OP know that, if she wants opinions, that write it in a way that the majority of people can read.

[usualsuspect]

I could read it.

If you are unable to read it move along .If you must point out the lack of paragraphs there's no need to be so rude about it.

[OctopusPete8]

My eyes! paragraphs!

[AlexReidsLonelyBraincell]

The majority of people could decipher it though, as you can see from the majority of the replies.

It's just sneery and rude and makes people look twattish.

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

Oh good god. Give her a break.

If it's that bloody difficult to read a long passage of text then here. Let me help you.

So this morning I woke up looked at my phone to check the time to see a message from a now ex friend saying she's "going to delete me off whatsapp (that's how I contact all friends) because your all about you and never reply"

now here's a little background I met her last summer through a play scheme that we both volunteered at she seemed quite nice or do I thought

until we started going to the park etc with our 2 children she kept making comments saying things like "everyone you know are wierd" etc

then one night she phoned me like 20 times maybe more from 11pm (which each call I answered)

she was drunk she expected me to just get up go round and drink with her leaving my son and partner which I said no to.

On another occasion we went to a soft play centre together and walked up "together" afterwards she phoned get sil to pick her and her son up "saying shell will be fine she can make her own way home"

I was pretty annoyed as she lived round the corner from me and just ditched me which I thought was pretty rude.

On another occasion she phoned and asked if I could go drop something off it was again about 10:30pm and I wasn't dressed and was very tired so dp said he will go drop it for her until she phoned and was saying things that made my partner uncomfortable and we decided I should drop it in the end,

so when I got round there again she was pretty drunk and in her dressing gown with what looked like nothing underneath (she was still expecting my partner to drop it off, and kept saying things like "your partner is really good I've lost so many friends because of their husbands/boyfriends trying it on with me but your partner hasn't etc" which set alarm bells off so I distanced myself from her.

I bumped into her last month and she said she will message me etc I told her that me and dp have been pretty down as dp's close friend died and it was his funeral next week etc

well the night of the funeral she was messaging me " hiya what you upto want to come round" then when I didn't reply se sent another saying "are you ignoring me?" "why are you ignoring me?" to which I replied "sorry not a good night for me will message soon" (she constantly does this if you don't reply straight away

so a few days later I sent a message explaining why I didn't want to talk as partner was really upset, then the only other messages were asking to go see her or how we are etc I'm currently pregnant and found out I have a low placenta and to take it easy etc and was abit worried and stressed about that news as well as my son having a chest infection and was really bad with it and my mum being rushed to hospital so I have been worrying about that too so have been really busy

I haven't heard from her for a few weeks until I got that message, which I replied "how dare you I have had alot of things worrying me with ds being I'll partners friend dying and my dm being in hospital my world if you can't understand that it's not all about me it's all about my family and not remembering to send you a message every single day then you are not a friend at all"

so aibu to be very annoyed about receiving this message? And replying with what I did?

OP, let her get on with it. She has behaved without an ounce of sensitivity or compassion for what you're going through at the moment and appears to be the one who is all me me me! Just ignore her

[EuroShaggleton]

I couldn't make it through all of that but from what I did read, you should be thankful for the ending of this "friendship".

[LastTangoInDevonshire]

Alex - how can you say majority when you don't know how many people didn't read, then moved on. You can't possibly know what is the 'majority'. Get your major facts right before you start criticising.

[Pagwatch]

I don't understand the mentality of someone who opens this thread and only comments to say it is unintelligible. It's just rude and pathetic.

If you can't read it and can't be bothered to reply then just close it.
But tbh really honest if you genuinely can't read it, as opposed to finding it a teensy bit of an effort, then you are fairly thick.

OP . Just accept this flare up between you as a gift. She is not bringing anything positive to your life and shows no sign of changing.

[usualsuspect]

Frankly if someone was the kind of twat that criticised my grammar on an internet forum I wouldn't want their help.

[TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong]

Adds a second grammatical mistake to LastTango's posts.

[TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong]

T'is the law of Sod.

Bites you on the bum, hard, every time.

[AlexReidsLonelyBraincell]

I was simply repeating your majority Tango, calm down dear.

[Groovee]

Is she 12?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Tbh I don't think you need to read all of it to see clearly that shellandkai will be better off without this person in her life.

Shell - look at your other friends, the ones who value you, make you smile, the ones who are there for you when you need a friend and who bring something special to your life - and for whom you do all of the above in return - enjoy them and forget this other person.

[AnnieLobeseder]

But it's not about criticising grammar for the sake of wanting it to be correct. It's pointing out that text without paragraphs is very difficult to read, so many people won't bother and the OP could lose out on a lot of valuable advice. Nothing to do with being pedantic just for the sake of it and instead actually trying to help the OP to get help, IYSWIM. The same would be pointed out if the post were in txtspk.