To tell you all to appreciate half term with your kids, as long as they still need you and want you for their half term activities.

[QuintessentialOldDear]

My sons are now 7 and 11 (soon 8)

They both wanted skateboarding camp for half term.

Granted we went away for some of the bank holiday weekend and did a couple of good hikes and "quality time".

All I am required to do now is drive them to and from camp, and make lunch packs.

Great. I can continue to work. I dont have to take time off. Fantastic.

But, no more trips to the park and playground where I get to enjoy a latte watching them play. No more looking at birds together in the Wetland Center, or marvel together at the beauties of Flowers in the botanic gardens.

They want their own fun, and it does not involve me.

It happened so quick.

Next I will moan that they have flown the nest.

Oooh, Bonsoir, can I come?!

And yes to building memories And remembering the good/interesting times - thankfully the bickering and whining becomes a distant memory over time, like childbirth!

Yes, the more the merrier for picnics!

I think remembering good times is a lovely thing to do.

But there is a line between those who enjoy their memories, and those who are stuck in the past, unable to envisage a future that will match it.

I know people like this. And there are people on this thread like it. Which is sad.

Healthy, able women have the world at their feet. The possibilities are endless. The future is a friend .

To think the best is past is just a terrible waste.

Aww there there quint

I used to think school holidays were something to be endured and used to plan and book ds into activities like football etc.

Now he is 7 and I absolutely adore spending time with him doing all the non sport stuff (as he does tis as part of weekly commitments).

This week we have been to Sarehole Mill (Tolkien), done electric circuit experiments (today is the big salty one!) and yesterday he went to animation workshop, it was lovely to listen to him afterwards and watch his 'movie'

Today we are going to the Birmingham museum to look at a new exhibition and the animal man is there with mini beasts. Sighh.....

So yes I do appreciate it all...(when i gets off here)

This has been on my mind a lot this week and I have been uncharacteristically maudlin. I am normally very much one for looking forward rather than back, but I feel we have come to a huge crossroads and I need a little time to adjust.

I found it hard when DD first left home for university but I soon realised that she is still a big part of our lives. Modern technology makes life a lot easier in some ways - when something daft happens that I know would amuse her I text her and we share a laugh. And when she comes home she is loving and affectionate and it is wonderful to see her grown up and independent.

So logically I know that we will all be fine when DS goes this September, but at times my heart is very sad. My DM died very unexpectedly when DS was only 3 months old, DD just turned 3. I had so many fantastic memories of the time she had spent with me throughout my life and vowed then that I would create many such memories with my own children. I truly believe we've achieved that, we have had so much fun and laughter over the years. And we now have 2 fantastic young people whose company we thoroughly enjoy.

DH and I are in the lucky position of being much better off financially than we were before the DC and have lots of plans of how we are going to use our new found freedom. But for some reason it has all hit me this half term week so I'm allowing myself to wallow in nostalgia for a few days, then I shall pick myself up and get on with enjoying the next stage of my life.

My parents definitely have positive selective memory. All four of us were perfect, ate everything, slept well. Angels! I remember we fought quite a bit and most likely were not.

But it is the end result of the hard work I guess, allowing oneself to remember the lovely times. It's a nice indulgence, I will be and am the same.

Still happy not to go backwards.

grace enjoying memories can be a bolster.

You sound like you don't intend to get yourself 'stuck'. I'm sure you'll do just great .

I really think it is worth bearing in mind the sheer drudgery and tedium of small children. That trip to the park involved packing Stuff - you know all that child-related Stuff - and finding shoes, and saying endlessly "come on, come on, it's time to go". And sogginess of various types. And quite possibly the horrific tedium of the swings.

Small children are delightful, but they are exhausting and wearing. And frequently boring. They require forms of entertainment that are either repetitive (that story again) or make you want to run screaming from the room (puppet shows, anyone?). They whinge about any remotely interesting form of food. And then scream unexpectedly in the middle of the night and/or awake bright and breezy at an hour when no sane adult wishes to prise their lids apart.

This too shall pass

(It was at that golden - ha! - stage that I posted a thread on MN asking if anyone else felt as if they were swimming uphill through custard. Strangely, I was not alone....)

I totally agree with you Motherinferior.

Lets face it, 9 yr old are more fun than toddlers.

(It's Browning, LQ. Yeats v different on age. Didn't like it.)

As a mother, I have surprised myself. Normally I tend to be very much backward looking, wistful for the old days, for how things were. Not so with the children. I have 3 teens and a 10 year old now. They don't call on me for anything except food and occasional shopping/taxi service.

I love it. I miss their enthusiasm for a damp beach or jumping in mud, or chatting to grandparents - all that is long gone now. But on the other hand, they are clever and funny and self-sufficient and when they talk to me, they are entertaining.

The oldest is a year away from leaving home (if he does it - not certain yet). I thought him leaving would be like a bereavement and perhaps it still will be, but at the moment I am looking forward to it in a nice way: looking forward to him being forced to grow up, to have new experiences and to come home at Christmas all eager to tell me about it and appreciative of the washing and cooking service I will provide.

I am even beginning to think joyously about one day being a grandparent.

Embrace what stage of life you are at, I say!

Anyone else used to get a heart-sink with children under about 2, when there was a climbing frame or swings in a pub garden (or anywhere, really) because you can't just let them go and play: you have to shadow them and help them climb things they can't climb, and push them, and tell them again that it's up the ladders, down the slide, or else you spoil it for everyone else....?

When they can go and play, that's a lot nicer!

Mother inferior you just made me laugh so much, my boys are 6 and 11 and have totally had free rein this half term to do what they like, I thought I'd back right off from being jolly organised and nagging to do stuff and just let them do what THEY wanted, which has so far included:-

Lots of x box games, fruit ninja, FIFA, star wars
A cave made out of cushions and soft toys
NERF gun target proactive with empty plastic milk bottles in the garden
Trip to see Epic
Made cakes

I've sorted my office, finished some work, sorted all house/school paperwork, read books and mags and watched this morning!

My eldest when when little he used to prod me when I dared to close my eyes when watching Thomas the tank engine for the 1,000th time "watch it Mummy!" he'd say and I think "piss off I've been up 3 times in the night and we've been up since six!"

I think you realise when they are older they are people and you need to respect them and what they think and feel, which of course goes two ways. You also do not have to plan and fill every waking out with stuff.

We are still in our pj's and have no plans for the day. Hooray.

'an aged man is but a paltry thing'

Oh yes La Queen, get them tried in tea making ASAP, they love it, my ds1 aged 11 makes lovely tea!

The thing I hated the most about having little kiddies was the endless trips on bloody steam trains. Thomas the F*ing Tank Engine has a lot to answer for.

I look at parents of under 7 year olds now and all I feel is relief that I have done that stage. 7 - 11 is the best age. But teens is fine as long as you realise pretty quickly that they will show you up wherever you go with them so best not to go anywhere together. (I exaggerate.)

And the poem where he's ogling a young woman and can't focus on anything but his wish to be young again and shagging her...

Six words to strike fear into your heart: 'Mummy, will you watch our show?'

OH GOD YES

'Oh she's done it wrong, now we'll have to start all over again'; 'Why are you clapping, that was just the first act!'