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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell you all to appreciate half term with your kids, as long as they still need you and want you for their half term activities.

242 replies

QuintessentialOldDear · 28/05/2013 20:21

My sons are now 7 and 11 (soon 8)

They both wanted skateboarding camp for half term.

Granted we went away for some of the bank holiday weekend and did a couple of good hikes and "quality time".

All I am required to do now is drive them to and from camp, and make lunch packs.

Great. I can continue to work. I dont have to take time off. Fantastic.

But, no more trips to the park and playground where I get to enjoy a latte watching them play. No more looking at birds together in the Wetland Center, or marvel together at the beauties of Flowers in the botanic gardens.

They want their own fun, and it does not involve me.

It happened so quick.

Next I will moan that they have flown the nest.

OP posts:
BellaVita · 28/05/2013 20:59

Sparkling I have that with mine, especially DS1. He does the avoidance dance with my mother when she tries to slobber all over him. He will quite happily give her a huge bear hug as he is taller than her, but hates the kisses.

Calabria · 28/05/2013 21:01

My eight year old and I had a lovely day at the local aquarium. Looked at absolutely everything. Watched the penguins (latest addition), seals, meerkats (yes, meerkats in an aquarium Confused), piranhas and terrapins being fed.

I'm knackered Grin

Sparklingbrook · 28/05/2013 21:01

Ooh yes, no kisses for Gran Bella but she gets a hug. Smile

peachypips · 28/05/2013 21:01

Thank you OP for that. You are absolutely right. I am going to focus on really enjoying my boys this half term. Well done for the reminder.

webwiz · 28/05/2013 21:04

My DD's love spending time with me when they are home from university (they are 19 and 21). They would quite happily go to zoos, botanical gardens, museums whatever.

This morning I took DS to toys r us because he wanted some lord of the rings lego and then we had breakfast out. He then spent the rest of the day revising for GCSEs - yes he is 16!

So YABU it ebbs and flows.

Iactuallydothinkso · 28/05/2013 21:07

I took this week off work exactly because of this. My oldest is now 18 and my others are 14 and 12. Yesterday we hung and watched films. Today we went out for lunch and went bowling. Tomorrow we will go swimming and make jelly with fruit in and Thursday they are out with my parents but on Friday, we will meet up with a couple of their friends and have lunch with them. I guess I'm buying but it doesn't matter.

Before too long I won't be a part of their social life so for now ill take time off work and grab it with both hands.

I miss the times my oldest used to come too but now she is working too.

Enjoy it people.

motherinferior · 28/05/2013 21:07

Sorry, mine are nine and 12 and I am already climbing the walls....

motherinferior · 28/05/2013 21:08

I like work.

GraceAndVirtue · 28/05/2013 21:09

I was thinking about this today. I went out to the shops this morning and couldn't understand why I passed several children on the way, then the penny dropped that it's half term.

DS is in year 13 and is technically on half term but lessons have finished now so he'll only be going back for exams. DD is 21 and has her last ever exam at university tomorrow.

I came home from my trip and sat with a coffee feeling quite maudlin. No more school holidays ever. I texted DD to tell her that I was nostalgic for the days of trips to the urban farm etc. She replied that she will happily go with me this summer for old time's sake. Mentioned it to DS and he said he'd love to go too. So don't worry, they eventually grow out of wanting to be cool!

And now that they can both drive, they can take me Grin.

marriedinwhiteagain · 28/05/2013 21:11

Wait till the eldest books a scummy holiday to Crete ignoring info that the famiy is going on holiday the day before he gets back and his father says "bloody idiot - catch a boat to italy and find some trains because the rest of us are not changing plans for you. Spose it will be an adventure. Heart will leave stomach when he phones from a french station for a lift better not be Paris Grin

cerealqueen · 28/05/2013 21:14

YANBU, I enjoy half term, I have two under 5. Makes me sad to see friends with similar aged kids post on FB 'first day of half term and kids already driving me mad' , and then making horrible comments all week. Sad

dementedma · 28/05/2013 21:21

Yabu. Kids grow up, get over it.
Of course they will still need you but in a different way and for me, a more interesting way than being bored rigid pushing swings or looking at flowers.
Now we talk about travel abroad, career options, university, adult friends. They cook meals and share wine with me. We talk about films and books and share jokes. And I don't have to slave for them 24 hours a day as they are more than capable of doing their own ironing, washing etc. Sorry, but I don't miss the boring child minding years one bit!

Numberlock · 28/05/2013 21:22

Don't let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

CloudsAndTrees · 28/05/2013 21:25

It doesn't have to be like that, I find it easier to have fun with my dc now that they're older. They are 10 and 12. We do more spontaneous days out, and I no longer feel like I have to have a friend or DH with me if we want to drive to the beach or have a day out in London, because they are good company rather than little people that need looking after.

They have ideas about where they want to go, and they are much more interesting ideas than they used to have which always seemed to involve soft play of some kind!

Sparklingbrook · 28/05/2013 21:33

DS1 (13) won't be seen with me or DS2. Limits the possibilities really.

McNewPants2013 · 28/05/2013 21:35

I only manage to book 2 weeks off out of the whole year to spend with my kid 7&4 so already cherish these weeks.

It may me sad to think that as they get older it could be even less :(

NorksAreMessy · 28/05/2013 21:36

On my birthday I ask for a walk with all the family and all the dogs.
That is how rare it is.

I love LOVE that they are getting independent and have friends and fun that is nothing to do with me. I love that they are growing up happy and excited about life, but I really cherish the time we all spend together.

Roots and wings, roots and wings, I mutter under my breath as I taxi them to stations, music studios, fun classes, dates, dinners out.
DD really needs to pass her driving test...but hen I will see even less of her.

Roots and wings :( :)

teenagetantrums · 28/05/2013 21:39

mine are 16 and 19, I was sad yesterday, nice day ,bank holiday, my DD went to the zoo with her boyfriend and family, DS was out with his friends, I was cleaning, how things have changed I used to bloody hate going to the park or on an outing every weekend and bank holiday, now I miss it

ArthurCucumber · 28/05/2013 21:44

Um, this isn't a stealth boast, it's a genuine question. Are mine weird? We haven't yet got to that stage yet and one is 14 and one is 11. Both dds. 14 yr old still likes doing stuff with me and sister. 11 yr old is off school today and she and I went for a lovely walk and played at sliding on our arses running up and down a big grassy slope. She'll happily spend hours on laptop/phone if we let her, but what she really wants to do on days off is something together.

There's a fair bit of fetching and ferrying as well, but as for being embarrassed by me - and goodness knows I try - it just hasn't happened so far.

Clearly yours are all more independent or generally normal than mine - I work at home and would quite like to avoid the guilt at times when I'm not "doing something with the children". But yes, I do also enjoy it Grin.

ArthurCucumber · 28/05/2013 21:45

(Although we do live in the country, so less opportunity to meet up with friends without advance planning.)

Sparklingbrook · 28/05/2013 21:46

I would like to think that a 13 year old DD would love to spend time with me, but alas he's a DS Arthur. I also think DS2 (11) would want to spend more time doing stuff with me if he was a girl.

Sad but true....

ArthurCucumber · 28/05/2013 21:48

Ah, well maybe there's that Grin. We aren't into shopping and the like but I guess it might be different with boys. (Never had any so wouldn't know!)

ArgumentativeAardvark · 28/05/2013 21:49

This thread has made me really sad Sad. DD is only 22 months, I'm going to make sure we have a really lovely day together tomorrow.

Hulababy · 28/05/2013 21:52

DD is 11y and yes, she has some days out without me or DH - with friends, at drama holiday club, etc. but she still loves doing stuff with us too. Tomorrow DH has the day off and we are going to Alton Towers for example. Friday me and DD are meeting up with friends and going out on our bikes. At home DD will still come and cook or do craft and want me involved. It's just a bit of both these days - especially as an only child, she needs time with her friends too.

FunnysInLaJardin · 28/05/2013 21:52

I really hope when mine are 7 and 11 which they will be in 4 years they will still want to come camping and will enjoy our family time. I actively discourage any activity which eats into our weekend time and will continue to do this for as long as I can. We work FT so our weekend's and holidays are just for us!